Marriage Good or Bad?

Question

I have just been reading an old question about why people cheat when they are in happy marriages, and most of the answers seemed to be "there is obviously missing from the marriage"
I dont accept that, were all human I have been married for nearly 4 years and love my husband to death our sex life and all the other stuff is great, but that doesnt mean were not attracted to other people you can't just turn it off once you have a ring on your finger men especially as it is in their nature to spread their seeds,
Did you know that when we fall in love it is actually a hormone that is released from our brains that makes us bond with that person, women produce it continuously but men only produce it for around a year and after that they only produce it when they have just orgasmed (thats why they normally tell you they love you at that point)., So if you are not making love with you partner they won't feel this bond with you and find it easier to go elswhere what are your views on cheatin

Answer 1

I don't know were you got your information from but its total tosh, if you can't turn your attraction off to other people then you have no right getting married in the first place, its nature for a man to spread his seeds even when he has a ring on his finger, as for a man telling you he loves you after he orgasms, sorry but how ridiculous, I have been married 22 years this coming Friday, I am not attracted to anyone else and neither is my husband, we only have eyes for each other, I can tell you 100% truthfully that my husband has not spread his seeds in any other women since the day we met and I know he never will, he tells me at least 50 times a day how very much he loves me and doesn't wait until he has an orgasm to tell me that, we don't need to have sex to keep the bond we have between each other, we truly love and adore each other and wouldn't contemplate cheating on each other let alone our marriage, when you say your vows your supposed to abide by them and not make some story up to so you can get away with cheating, whoever told you your story is an idiot and has no respect for marriage and is making a mockery of it.

Answer 2

I'm not sure how much I agree with the physical aspect, because I don't know enough about that particular physiology. But, I agree with you overall it's what we call an instinctive thing.. you call it spreading our seed, I call it keeping the human race going. lol Same difference. I don't condone cheating in any sense, which in my mind means behind someones back. So, if your the type person that feels you can't be monogamous (sp?) sexually, find a partner that will either swing with you, give each other some freedom/leeway, or one that simply want you both to play around, therefore no one is hurt. But, that's just my philosophy on it, my basis is just my own experiences.

Answer 3

That's quite a thought...but what about the time they go to sex workers. You know marriage is very complex... and especially with the changing nature of humans. I as a woman know that there is so much satisfaction and dissatisfaction - and strangely I perhaps would miss sex much more than my husband, who now talks of companionship. About cheating - there are times another person gets under your skin there is precious little you can do about it. And we are all fundamental in sin are we not....you know I wish there was a straight answer - there is none.

Answer 4

i have NEVER heard such twaddle.So, men only feel like they love you after they have had sex,if you have been together for over a year. So,little men in the brain switch of the love button after a year? My partner is a man, i know he would never stray even if we couldnt have sex for a year.Your just giving cheating men a stupid excuse for cheating . 'sorry love,but you know, it has been a year now, so my love bugs worn off, and i havnt had sex for a few weeks,so its not my fault i shagged someone else'. Right...

Answer 5

im in a new relationship and i havnt cheated on him yet... but all the rest i have.. i just carnt help it.. its just how i am.. im hoping this time i wont and il get all fron him that i need.. which i might add is sex.. ive got a massive sex drive and no guy has ever kept up.. it sounds quite sad but you carnt help who you are...
and as for marriage it really doesnt appeal.. im 33 now and its never been somthing iv wanted.. its a piece of paper that says you are with that person.. for what till you get bored ? till you meet another? how can you commit to 1 person for the rest of your life? i know i couldnt.. its not right..

Answer 6

Most marriages these days are lasting between 8 to 10 years so I dont see the point of them at all!!!
It nearly always ends in tears!!
So just live together and when it all goes wrong just split everything down the middle and go ur separate ways!!!
signed,
Bitter and twisted from middle England..

Answer 7

Marriage is good - and although I understand the men's natural need to spread their seed as you described, one would hope we are a step ahead of animals who conduct this physiological need instinctively with no thought of morality or consequence. We can all window shop, but mustn't 'purchase' the goods.

Answer 8

Marriage is good (when married to the right person) Cheating is BAD, always, there's no excuse, even though people who cheat come up with a million and five of them!

lol xxx

Answer 9

Yeah of course you still look at other people when your married but its the love and respect you have for each other that stops you doing anything.
And when people do cheat it is because something is missing in their relationship, it doesnt just happen, you have to want it to happen.

Answer 10

Just because hormones are pushing a person in one direction, doesn't mean they have to act on it. Marriage is about a love based on commitment, not on hormone-based choices.