My hubby had a few mild affairs which I 4gave...this last 1 turned real nasty,he lied so much just to meet up with that ger,& even lie of a biz trip just to meet her overseas(she's not local)...d tricky part is I'm in early pregnancy,& she is also pregnant,and have been sending msg to ask for compensation & the abortion fee...when i just found out,he wouldn't even have a clean cut with her till she finally state her aim is for $, I tried leaving him, but somehow, still dream that a miracle will happen....& everything will be alright again...have few friends as he does not like me to have friends,so unable to ask for advice from any1...pls help...
2006-11-06 00:28:13 · 23 answers · asked by Fallen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you so much for all your advice, but I have to give him credit that he was a very nice man, just do not know what turn him into a man like this....I repeatedly ask myself if I had done anything wrong, but in all areas I can proudly say I have done every duty of a wife's, just can;t understand why? That ger has demanded for the compensation as she also wanna get on with her life without a baby, but I really don't wanna be sponsoring a "murder", yet I can't say I can accept the child,she has indicated that if her demands are not met,she will fly over with that baby and make us pay, as for him, if I can still take his words for real, he does not believe that she is pregnant....should I pay her, I'm thinking of even not keeping my own baby, yet I really hope all is nothing but a nightmare, really desperate now,I have lost contact with all my friends and now I have no1 to turn to....sometimes I really felt drained, so young yet so old....
2006-11-06 00:51:38 · update #1
sounds like you have hung around and forgiven him in exchange for compensation!
2006-11-06 00:31:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time for you to roll out from this situation. A few mild affairs?? One is enough for me and the other woman is expecting also? I believe you need to stop kidding yourself and look at the big picture. Ask yourself why are you afraid to move on without him? How can anyone live day to day with a broken heart? What are you going to do? Sit around a think about what he had done and start writing poetry? No. Its time for you to make a drastic change for YOUR life. No more pity parties, you have a make a move or you will remain in the situation that you're in. Make a decision and watch your life move forward.
2006-11-06 08:38:41 · answer #2 · answered by pradavee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must dump this guy.
I would be able to understand to forgive (not to forget) one mild affair. But that's it.
More than one mild is more than enough.
He will not change ever.
I have friends that have been caught in affairs by their wives, repented, and got involved in another affair as soon as possible.
On the other side there are husbands that simply do not cheat.
The books I read all say the same thing, and it works: If you need sex now and your wife is not available then masturbate.
In summary: leave him.
2006-11-06 08:55:32 · answer #3 · answered by danbraun06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon i would like to say he is going to stop but it doesnt appear so..its time to think of yourself and make a clean break away from him ..I can relate my husband had an affair which also resulted with the woman being pregnant same time as i was having my second child . I forgave him and he has done over and above making it up to me and he has never strayed again that was 10 years ago and we also have his other child come to us every 2nd weekened and half the holidays it took alot of time work and effort to get our relationship back on track but the thing was we both wanted it to work and put in every effort...unfortunately it seems only you trying to save the relationship and it wont work one sided...Best of luck with your decision and i hope your future is brighter
2006-11-06 08:36:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I would seed counseling...either alone or as a couple...maybe both. I feel horrible for you. I would also keep in mind that many, many women raise children on their own all of the time. There is so much help out there. If you attend church or want to start seek advice from the local pastor. It really helped me when I was in a similar situation. If you really want your marriage to work then try it. Just remember there are options.
2006-11-06 08:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by lmclear4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl if i ever found out my Husband did that i would make him think everything is fine and one day he will come home and i would be gone. You need to rethink your situation your pregnant this other girl is pregnant and you still there if i were you (i dont know if this your first child) but i would get rid of it and take my loses and move on, Cheat once i will forgive you cheat twice im gone. Your giving him the ok to continue to do what he doing and it not fair, You know you cant trust him , what type of relatioship is that. i would be shameful to go anywhere with him being i not for sure if we gonna bump into one of his flings, I think you need to leave.
2006-11-06 08:44:13 · answer #6 · answered by nicole52879 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few affairs? One is enough for me...but that's not important here. The fact that he doesn't like you to have friends tells me that he wants you dependent on only him. That's not love, that's emotional abuse. Honey,the only miracle that will happen is if you leave him. You've been allowing him to have affairs,and you basically have told him it's OK with you every time you forgave him. He impregnated another woman...How many more times until you realize that you don't deserve this?
2006-11-06 08:41:09 · answer #7 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is you forgave him one to many times! He surely didn't take it serious either! But God can do all things that are impossible in our eyes! Pray, Pray, and Pray some more. Try not to stress yourself out being that your pregnant. But as far as this other woman goes you and your husband might have to go the legally way with this situation especially because she is now asking for money and if I was you I would make my husband go get an HIV test done due to the fact that he was sleeping around with no protection!!!!!!!!!!!! It is going to take God to do a miracle in him!
2006-11-06 08:36:14 · answer #8 · answered by brown sugar 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get out he is some type of a**. Gather as much evidence as you can about his affairs and see an attorney. This guy deserves to be taken to the cleaners by you.
2006-11-06 08:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't have any friends, but he can have affairs????? First of all, you've cheated yourself , by staying with him and putting up with that crap. Save your baby alot of heartache by getting yourself out of this relationship and focusing on yourself and your expected bundle of joy. the stress of the emotional rollercoaster that you are on is not healthy for you or your baby. you can dream all kinds of beautiful dreams, but the reality is that if he has gone to the lengths that he has, he's not about to give up his extracirricular activities.... congratulations on your pregnancy, enjoy....and good luck
2006-11-06 08:45:06 · answer #10 · answered by sickofmakinthemgo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to think about your child and yourself....It's not good for you being pregnant to have all this stress in your life. I suggest you weed out all the trash in your life and concentrate on you and that baby you are carrying!
2006-11-06 08:36:21 · answer #11 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋