Separation?

Question

I asked a question on here last night about my husband and I and how we've been separated the last three days. Today we are supposed to talk about things and figure out if we are going to try and make it work, or get the papers and head towarads finalizing things. We have had our share of fights but the marriage is still new and I feel like he is bailing out on me. I thought it was to be expected that this would be no walk in the park, and that he would stick by me even during the hard times. Anyway, as you can tell, he is the one who has been considering this, not me. I know that begging and saying any certain thing won't make him change his mind if he's already made it up, but I do feel that there are probably some things that I definitely should and shouldn't say because they could worsen the situation. Does anyone have any ideas of how I should handle the situation later?

Answer 1

I think l know exactly where you are coming from. My husband and l did separate. I guess it was both of our faults for one reason or another, but our main problem l think was lack of communication. We are back together again now and try to discuss everything. Sometimes it is really hard to tell your partner how you really feel, but as we can not read each others minds we must all learn to talk about our problems or they just get all blown out of proportion and before you know it we have huge problems.There is no point begging him for anything, but please try and get him to sit down and atleast listen to what you have to say. Pour your heart out to him if you have to, make sure you get everything off your chest and atleast then you can honestly say you gave it your all. If he still chooses to leave atleast you know in your heart that you did your very best to work things out. No-one can expect you to do more than that. Hope everything works out well for you. Good Luck.

Answer 2

You have to be honest in hopes of getting your marriage on track. If you can't talk to him, then why be married. Sadly, if his mind is made up there's nothing you can do because you can't change his mind. When you ask what are some ideas that can help you with the situation later, I am not so sure I understand what you are saying. It is difficult for me to tell you what will happen later because I don't know what your husband will discuss or say to you. It appears that you are preparing for things to go wrong.
You two need to find out from each other what is or has gone wrong in the marriage. Talk about it and try to figure out ways to fix it. If you all know what went wrong in the marriage talk about ways you all can fix it. I wish you well and I hope things can work out for the both of you.

Answer 3

If you have things to say, then tell him. Don't hold back how you feel or what you think in order to salvage your marriage. Cause honestly, if you can't talk to him, you shouldn't be married. The only thing you can do right now is talk to him. Be completely honest with him. Unfortunately, if he has made up his mind, he has made up his mind. But trying never hurts! Who knows, he may just change his mind.

Like I said, be honest and tell him what you want. In the end, things will work out for the best. What's meant to be is meant to be. Good Luck!

Answer 4

First of all go into this with an open mind and an open heart. Be completely honest with your husband, and tell him what you are feeling. However, you have to pay attention to his words as well as his body language. Ask him if he feels this marriage is worth saving if that is your desire. If he does not want to work on saving the marriage, you will have to accept this. However, I would expect him to be mature and honest with his reasons. You deserve the truth. Remind him of what it was that made the two of you fall in love and get married in the first place. Marriage is a job a full time job and commitment. When faced with adversity is where we find our true strength. I wish you the best of luck and God bless

Answer 5

By being totally honest. Tell him that you think he is bailing and taking the easy way out. Have the 2 of you tried counseling? You can't talk him into anything that he doesn't want to do...but you can help yourself in the long wrong by not having any regret for not trying everything possible to save your marriage. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Perhaps you can ask him to pray with before discussing anything! And another thing is maybe he was showing signs of not wanting to get married but you just didn't see it! Any way get some counseling if possible before you and him make this decision. Divorce is never an easy thing to deal with and always know that the devil is always out to cause divison in marriages!

Answer 7

DONT KNOW WHERE U are writing from- it matters. If u are a muslim or xtn- it also matters. In any case, u are the best person who really understand the situation quite well. In our case, i think you should be cool and try get things right. This is a hard decision to make and you may live to regret this if care is not taken, so my sister beware. Good Luck!

Answer 8

The only way things can work out is if you two are able to talk and makes some compromises.He has to be willing to talk things out.Marriage is hard work and if you are both willing to work at it . it will last and be happy. If you are sure that this is what you want to do. Let him go for awhile so he can MISS YOU.Give him a week or two to think things thru and maybe after that he will be willing to talk and work things out .GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

Try going to a marriage councellor.. well.. if things have gone beyond that then just be honest to him and to yourself. Tell him what you think of the whole relation and what exactly is in your mind. No harm in being truthful. Truth might have disasterous consequences for the short term, but in the long term it lways benefits. Stay calm, n dont lose tempers. God bless you.. n hope you get out of ur trbls...fast.

Answer 10

In this day of instant gratification, people expect everything to be easy, and to be handed to them on a silver platter....

My marriage recently ended, as a result of my wife's infidelity. Not knowing the issues in your marriage, my advice to you would be to seek individual counseling to address the issues and concerns that each of you are dealing with on a personal level. Simultaneous, begin joint couples therapy to work on communication, trust, and whatever else may be causing the rift in your marriage.

To me, money spent on a therapist that could say your marriage is better than money spent on a lawyer to end your marriage.

Keep in mind that if both of you aren't willing to accept responsibility for your actions, forgive yourselves and then forgive each other, for whatever transgressions have occurred, then you won't be able to reconcile and save the marriage. This is why mine failed after 6 months of therapy.

Best of luck to you both.