Okay, fist I'm an openly gay male and two monthes ago I found what appeared to be the perfect man. He told me that he had fought and beat cancer. About a month ago I found out that the doctor has only given him a year to live and he has leukemia and Lou Gherigs. This really upset me because I strongly believe in honesty. Well lately, since I found out, he has become more shady and for the last week we have spent barely 5 minutes (sometimes less talking) until yesterday, when I didnt hear from him at all!! I really care about him and want to be there for him, but I just feel like now that I know his secret he doesnt want me. WHAT SHOULD I DO.
And he wont talk to me about it. Every time I try to get him to talk he says that Im being unreasonable. He also says that me expecting him to spend a few minutes talking to me is both arrogant and selfish.
2006-11-06 00:08:03 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i am terminally ill and for a long time i was unable to admit it to myself much less my husband. he knew but i would not talk about it. he may just be in that kind of a place be supportive but do not push him. my husband almost pushed me away because he thought i needed to talk about it. by the way the docs said i would be dead 1 1/2 years ago and i am still a vibrant flamboyant sexy woman who lives each day to the fullest. time will pass and he will be more open and learn to enjoy each moment.
2006-11-06 00:13:16 · answer #1 · answered by jusme 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Is this an online relationship? If so, you have just been a victim of the infamous "I've got cancer and only a year to live" scam. Be happy all you lost was your heart.
If this is real life, then this man isn't interested in you, obviously and its time to move on. If honesty is important to you, this man is a liar, so what's the attraction?
2006-11-06 00:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, I am sorry for the difficult time you are having. You didn't mention whether you are living with this man in a committed relationship or whether it is more a casual relationship where you are dating.
If you are living together, then I believe you need to be able to talk about intimate issues whether they are sexual, finances or health.If that is the case and you both want to continue living together, sharing your lives together in respectful and loving harmony, you may need to enlist the help of couples' counselling.
If you are simply dating this man and are not in an exclusive relationship with him, then you may have to face the fact that he is, for whatever reason, simply neither comfortable nor prepared to share facts about his health with you. You then will have to decide whether you want to continue in a relationship where trust is diminishing and your are becoming less satisfied. If you are still deciding what to do, you might want to just back off from this discussion, give him privacy but tell him that if you are going to become more intimately involved in a living relationship, you need for him to be very honest and candid with you. Good luck.
2006-11-06 02:27:32 · answer #3 · answered by Jo 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm really sorry! However, maybe you should send him a card or something, and try to spend as much time with him as possible. over the past two years I've lost many loved ones of mine, and even if they couldn't or just wouldn't show it, I could just tell that they felt goo inside from what I did. Try to talk to him and you'll see it WILL make a difference. If you keep trying to get him to talk, he will eventually will. Trust me... I know what your going through.
2006-11-06 00:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by x.CaG3dUpAnIMaL.x 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋