My wife had an emotional internet affair.Can i trust her again?

Question

She had an emotional affair. What still eats me up is that she said to him that she was wishing he was the one touching her when she went to bed, and she dreams of leaving her life to start anew with him. I managed to open my wifes eyes to what she was doing. Yet at the same time we were getting along fantastically. She says she loves me more than anything.There was no sexual interaction apart from inuendos. Can i trust that my wife wont do this again and that she truly loves me?

Answer 1

she never left you, it was all fantasy to her! If your relationship was that fantastic, maybe you need to explore this further!!
As someone said you have a freebie coming

Answer 2

My heart goes out to you.There is obvious lack of trust in your marriage. Most likely with both of you. Face what the issues are. Talk about it. Is important. If you two cant your marriage will not last. Deal with the anger and hurt. Just dont hurt yourself or her. Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is let them go. If that happens just know you did what was best for both. Same for her. Who knows she may figure out she loves you after all. And this is something you really need to feel. If not with her then someone else. I dont know the age.If younger then she may still need to grow. The age really doesnt matter anyway. Be true to yourself. Can be so painful but know that you will be happy and will not hurt like you are now.You have a great love and to walk away from that would be a tragedy. Be good to yourself and dont beat yourself up about it. Own what you did or couldnt provide in the marriage and walk away with dignity. Sometimes saying I am sorry and sincerely meaning it works wonders. Hard to know where she is at. This may not help you at all. I hope it does. Everybody needs to be loved. In any case I wish you both well. Been there and done this more than once. I will say never regretted loving anyone. It was great. But when you love someone so much that it is hurting you you need to resolve or walk away.Yes you give it your best shot and if it doesnt work you move on with your dignity. You cant change anything about another person.You cant fix what is wrong . All you can do is try to support her and be there. Personally I would never want to make another person hurt like that and know she probably has no idea she is hurting you. Communication and honesty is needed.Take care.

Answer 3

If this is the first time your wife has done something like this, find out why she did it, and give her the benefit of the doubt. Ask her if there's something she needs that you aren't providing, and if so, how you can change it. Be open to the possibility that you may need to find a marriage counselor. Trusting someone after such a betrayal is a really hard thing to do, and it may take awhile. Let her know that you're working on it. Make sure she knows how much she hurt you, and that you still love her enough to work things out. I'm no expert on things liek this, but I hope this helps.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to say this but your marriage is lacking something, because your wife had to turn to another man to fulfill her needs. You may think that you guys are fine but unless talk to her, you'll keep living a lie. If you go to marriage counseling and find out what is wrong, I think you'll be able to trust her again. But, If you try to fix things yourself, then you may be asking for her to run off again. Personally, I think emotional affairs are much worse than sexual. In this case, it wasn't looks or a style that attracted your wife to this man, it was a connection. And unforunately when you experience a connection with someone, she may want to continue seeing this man/chatting with him. Honestly, counseling should do the trick. Find out what went wrong and how to fix it. But she needs to be willing to fix it and you the same or else you don't have a marriage anymore. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Yes, of course you can, the two of you must keep the lines of communication open, so this does not happen again. Sounds as though she was hearing things from this other man that she felt she needed to hear. Very dangerous meeting people on the Internet, they will tell you anything you want to hear. Perhaps the two of you should consider the idea of some marriage counseling to get to the bottom of what was going on. And work very hard to keep the lines of communication open between the two of you. That is a very key piece to any relationship. God bless you and your wife. I wish you the best, God bless

Answer 6

I believe you can trust your wife truly loves you.
You cannot trust however that she won't do the same again. But these Internet chats are about fantasy, and fantasy is OK.
Maybe you both can have some fun by cyber-cheating each other through Internet !
Good luck mate!

Answer 7

Despite how all the LifeTime for Women movies of the week portray women who have affairs -- you know, as being in it without ever emotionally damaging anyone (while men who cheat are evil slimy f*cking pigs) or hurting their other relationship, that's a load of cr*p.

Women consider emotional affairs just as serious and damaging as physical ones, and so should you. The fact that she ACTED fine with you during it shows she has the one important characteristic of a life-long, unchanging cheater: the ability to live 2 lives.

Unless she admits her huge psychological issue of being sociopathic in her complete disregard for her vows, disrespect of you, and her huge lies every second she was in the affair and never telling you, and devises with you a plan to restore your relationship, be completely open about her dealings with other men, and regain your trust and respect, you might as well divorce her now and save yourself the hurt of the next time she will cheat because cheaters RARELY change.

Answer 8

If you don't have children make sure you don't start to plan for any. Spend the next year re-evaluating your relationship. Ask her to write down everything that she feels are lacking in your relationship and you write down yours. Then compare and discuss. I hate to be a realist, but a woman who's capable of writing those things to a stranger is putting up some major oversized red flags. Give yourself a year and wqatch your relationship with more scrutiny. You don't want to end up side swiped.

Answer 9

You may take her back and fully forgive her, but I can guarantee you will never forget and it will torment you everyday. I cheated on my husband 4 years ago and it was physical, not emotional. And he never forgot, it seemed he also never forgave, but he took me back and we've had two beautiful babies together since then. I recently left my husband, because he would not stop hurting me with it, calling me names and saying I was cheating on him and even going to the extreme of saying his children weren't his. I suffered through 4 years of hell because I made a horrible decision in my life, that I haven't done since then. She probably feels bad, but don't make her feel so bad to the point of leaving, if she stopped, then try to trust her when she says things, but keep one eye open. It never happened again for me, but I'm not every woman, or cheater.

Answer 10

I would ask her to go to a marriage counselor with you.
or
ask her to sit and talk with you about what she feels is missing in your relationship, because that's why individuals cheat on their signifcant other/spouse; they are missing something in the relationship and don't know how to let the other person know.

so, just come right out and ask her to let you in on how she's feeling, and to let her know how you are feeling. Let her know you have serious grounds for not trusting her again. make that a topic that gets brought out in the open.

festering; uncommunicated emotions ruin relationships. and add stress and unhealthy living, quite unneccessarily.

not trusting her again is understandable, and no, I wouldn't be quick to give her the benefit of the doubt again, she would have to earn it back, but everyone deserves a second chance.

and when you love someone, those second chances are supposed to be in endless supply.

Answer 11

My best response is to seek a professional marriage counselor and find out why it happened in the first place. Sometimes people get involved in situation and don't realize until later that a mess was created.