I am moving into an apartment with a married man on the 27th of this month. He hasn't been with his wife for about 4 months. She has filed separation and child support papers. She will likely file for divorce once she is told about the rental agreement we signed. He has two daughters, age 8 and 3. The 8 year old likes me and doesn't mind me hanging around or even dating her father, but she, like most children, ultimately wants mommy and daddy to stay together. Today, he told his daughter that mommy and him were never going to get back together and that he is going to be moving in with me, whether she likes it or not (of course, she's a bit upset, but he did tell her that he loves her very much and always will). It's very unlike me to get involved with a man in this sort of situation, but in my heart, i know it'll all work out. I need some outside feedback to let me know if i am in the middle of something that i shouldn't be in or if i'm right where i belong.
2006-11-05 23:40:03 · 18 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The divorce has nothing to do with me...he has had a rocky relationship full of breakups and getting back together with his wife for as long as they have been together... he'd only go back home because of his kids and to take a shower and stop couch surfing...
2006-11-05 23:44:30 · update #1
As long as you are having fun, go for it!
2006-11-05 23:53:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
For your sake l really hope you are doing the right thing. Did you know this guy long before you decided to move in with him ? I am thinking maybe not long enough. He is only separated not divorced, what if after all this he has a change of heart. Where does that leave you ? Personally l would have waited until l saw the divorce papers. But hey, it's your life Right !! Good Luck. I just hope your heart is right.
2006-11-05 23:51:13 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This guy cheats on his wife yet you want him, he will do the same to you in the future. Look what this idiot is doing to his kids. Even though you had nothing to do with the divorce his kids still see you as the object that is the reason their mommy and daddy broke up. Best for you to distance yourself. Unless he is putting a ring on your finger you should not be having contact with his children. His kids may become attached to you yes but he may not and then more heart ache for the kids.
You must tell him to get his own place you will not be an overnite guest when the children are there. You may see him on the side until the divorce is final but never with the kids present. In a couple of years when it looks like he wants to marry you then contact with the kids in an intimate relationship may be allowed.
Good Luck but this guy is treating his wife, family and worse his KIDS like crap. Not to mention he is moving in with you intending to use you for a place to live untill something else comes along better.
Sweety GET OUT OF THIS NOW
2006-11-06 00:55:16 · answer #3 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Never move in with a man whether his getting a divorce or not! It's called shacking and it is not the will of God for us to do that. Now the other thing is even though he is separated from his wife dosen't mean that he is single in the eyes of the law he is still married and his wife can easily take him to court and say the reason she wants a divorce is because he abandoned her and their two children for another woman who he nows live with! Then she can hit him up for alimony, child support and anything else that she can think of. If I were you I would not get involve with the situation until everything is finalized! And you never know he can change his mind again!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pray and seek God for guidance!
2006-11-06 00:49:30 · answer #4 · answered by brown sugar 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If a man is married rather seperated or not unless divorced its always wrong to get in the way of things .. never know what will happen without other people arround , if it was just him and no kids involved its possible it could be diffrent but when there are kids involved more than when there isnt there is no way on earth i would have anything to do with a married man there is no way that its right that your moving in with someone who is still leagally married thats still pretty much adultry and totally wrong
2006-11-05 23:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by jazieyez 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Can you say rebound.
For you to move in so soon is not a good idea and probably will not end well.
Give him some time to be solo for a while before moving in.
A marriage breaking up is much like a death in the family with the same levels of grief.
If this is meant to be it will happen even with some time.
Let him get that divorce FINAL. Then you can move in without being the hussy.
2006-11-05 23:55:15 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You asked, so please don't be upset if the answers aren't quite what you hoped for.
You are the "other woman" involved with a married man. Her lawyer can hold this over the husband and show to the court that he is an unfit parent who is having an affair and living with another woman while still married. The court could restrict or limit his parental custody rights because of this.
In addition, think of the message you are sending to his daughters.
If you care about this man at all, then you will not have any relationship with him until he is legally divorced. Get out now!
2006-11-05 23:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What's the hurry? They are still married.
This of course means the entire time you have been with him he's been married. Meaning you are, for lack of a better term, a homewrecking s*l*u*t.
Tell us again what's the big hurry to move in with and have an instant family with some guy who has a history of not only of rocky relationships but of cheating on his wife with at least you as well?
Had you been something other than an immature juvenile about it, and had he kept his pecker in his pants, the second you had feelings for him you should've said "You're married - go home to your wife" and never spoken to him again until he showed up and said, "Well, I am divorced and have been for about a year and I'd like to see you."
As it is you two will have your love nest for about 6 months, then his wandering dick will kick in and he'll be cheating *on* you, not *with* you. Enjoy.
2006-11-05 23:54:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you are definitely in the middle of something you shouldn't be in. First off, he maybe separated but he is still officially married and even though they are headed for divorce anyway, it's best for you to wait until the divorce is finalized before moving in with him. His wife can use this against him and you in court.
2006-11-05 23:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by Leila G 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
this all depends on your man, is he truely serious about you and shows you that , or is he just using you to get over his wife, if he has kids he will have to stay in touch with his wife and see her on a regular basis, plus you will have to put up with snide comments from his wife and their family, if you feel you are strong enough as a person and as a couple to live with this and you both truely love each other, then enjoy your new relationship and dont let any one spoil it or come between you both, goodluck i hope you will both be very happy.
2006-11-05 23:46:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the lil' girl is 3? an she is the one having problems excepting , now c'mon....the three yr. old would be the first to except another women in the pic.! not the 8 yr. old! but this is your story...so anyway , i think i would at the very least wait until thier divorce is final. you may get stuck in some lease you can't afford on your own!
2006-11-05 23:46:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋