Would you remain married if you were not in love?
2006-11-05 21:49:25 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I married in Februrary 19, 1985 and my Son was born December 25, 1985, now is it possible that she refrained from telling me she was pregnant till after we were married?
2006-11-05 22:02:31 · update #1
What on EARTH did she do wrong? 24 years (almost a quarter century) is one heck of a long time to toss away.
Is there something that she is willing to change or repent of?, or that you may need to change?
Jeepers! after 24 years, you think you two would have worked out some good system of communication!
Updated: Just read your additional info: You were married Feb 19th, 1985 and your son was born Dec 25/85...... so where's the problem?!?!?! Babies take 9 months to "hatch" - you were married Feb 19th, so March 19 is one month, April 19 is 2 months,..... keep counting...... Dec 19th would be 10 months after your wedding.... so.......... your son was born 10 months and 6 days after your wedding. I believe that means he was conceived after the wedding date!!!!! Is that your only issue with her?
2006-11-05 22:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by bc_is_the_place_to_be 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Stop being a jerk. You can't even properly count how long that you have been married. It's only been 21 years.
Your wife has given you 21 years of her life, it probably hasn't always been a picnic for her either.
Your first born baby was conceived AFTER you were married, otherwise it would have been in the womb for over 10 months ! A normal pregnancy is 38 to 40 weeks.
Both of you should go and see a counselor if you are so unhappy, you need to resolve this. And start going to church and be thankful for what you have.
Try surprising your wife with a bouquet of flowers, a nice dinner and a movie of her choice, not yours. And don't expect sex afterwards.
Or give her a gift of a day at a day-spa, with money to buy an outfit later. Tell her how beautiful she is when she comes home.
(This is coming from a guy who has been married 17 years.)
2006-11-06 06:15:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Before you make any hasty decisions, you and your wife should seek some marriage counseling. It may work and it may not, but at least you can say that you tried.
Oh and as far as your son's birthday---she would have had to get pregnant in March to give birth in December. So, she got pregnant after you two were married. If she was pregnant before the marriage, like say in January then the child would have been born in September.
Hope that helps! Good Luck!!
2006-11-06 07:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by my_lil_buttercups 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The years dont mean S%$&! The more time you spend deliberating on it then the less you'd be able to leave since you would have spent 25,26,27 years and you cant throw that away!
Face it, you'll be miserable. 24 years is a big chunk of time in your life, but thats exactly why you walk out now, so you dont waste any more of the time you dont have. Leave while you can still make a life for yourself that your satisfied with. Everyone will tell you go to marriage therapy, but you said you dont want it and that should be it, its what you want- you cant negotiate feelings.
As far as your children, or child, divorce doesnt mean you forget about them. My parents broke up when i was 13, wasnt pretty, but my father never stopped taking care of me and my brother and helping my mother with what he could-he still maintains a friendship with her even. I know that his new wife is the true love of his life and im happy he found that.
2006-11-06 08:35:18 · answer #4 · answered by uberzwitter67 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my thoughts. You have grown apart. Maybe you need to find that rope that tied you two together that broke around Dec 25 1985 and see if you can tie it back and pull yourselves back together again. You have unresolved issues that are making you feel this way. Have you tried talking to her? Good luck.
2006-11-06 06:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he was born in December he was conceived in March, AFTER you got married.
Talk to a marriage counselor and get a lawyer if you really don' t want to be with her
2006-11-06 06:09:21 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is a choice so maybe an investigation into why you have chosen not to love her would be in order. The vows I gave were,"til death do us part." But then I guess that was just my word. I suppose to some a promise is just a means of getting what they want until they get bored. I got an ex-wife you should meet... sounds like a match.
2006-11-06 06:00:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depending on the deep dark secret that was discovered. I would say your the 1 that has to make the call. 24 years is along time. However, I know from experience, its tough to be with someone when you don't love and/or trust them. Is counseling an option? Good luck...
2006-11-06 05:55:28 · answer #8 · answered by Psycomagnet 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey just chill, 24 yrs is not calculation of some days, u guys cant do this. u have already spend 24 yrs with each other & now u think that u guys dont love each other anymore, thats riddiculas, ttotaly hopeless, "Love never dies" y dont u two try to think abt it and give ur relation another chance, its really easy to break up but not to reunit it.
2006-11-06 05:58:23 · answer #9 · answered by Fahim . 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do the math in months dude----your wife got pregnant in March if baby was born in December----
AFTER 24 years----husbands and wives fall in love and out of love a zillion times----Grow old with your wife----grass isn't always greener on the otherside and divorcing after 24 years you'll be financially ruined!
2006-11-06 06:42:12 · answer #10 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋