I want to visit a female friend in BiH, near Siroki Brijeg but she says that I can't visit here there because we have to be either married or engaged!! Haha, are you serious?! It can't be that backwards... Or is she on a mission to get married with me?? What's the deal?! Can't you take a male friend to your home town to show him around? Is it frowed upon that much?
2006-11-05 20:45:54 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel ➔ Europe (Continental) ➔ Other - Europe
If she hasn't told you the name of the place she lives at, it is probably a very small town, or maybe a village. Keep that in mind. It is very embarrsing, at least in small places or villages, for a girl to invite a male friend to her house... There are many reasones that this is a complete embarrassment:
1) Bosnians are very narrow-minded, especially the one who live at small places. O.K. I must admit, that there are exceptions, but the modern Bosnians are usually from Sarajevo, the capital. Your visit could completely change her life. In those little places at Balkans, neighbours are the biggest GOSSIPERS and enemies also! They are very anvious. There is a proverb at Serbian language, and it goes like this: Da komsiji crkne krava or Let the neighbour's cow die! INeighbours aren't not always this wmean, there are always excepions but old people have always been saying this proverb! If neighbours'd see you and look to your coming as a disgrace for that family, they would follow your every single step. They'd find out everything about you, and would never stop spreading of your "life-story", origin, behaviour etc You and the family of your friend would be the subject of gossiping for a long time and every member of that community would know everything about you.
2) I don't know if she is a muslim or a catholic. In both ways, it would be very inpolite to come to her's place. Although if you were her best friend, it would be embarrassement. I shall repeat once again that older Bosnians are very narrow-minded and conservative.
These two reasons are the main ones. I think that the reasons I gave you, are true, because I myself am from Balkan, and it's very different to adjust yourself to those little communities, old conservative people who'd be gossiping you all the time, and her family will always see you as a wierd man, inpolite in a way, who came to their house and brought embarrassement to their house and family name. It is completely different thing to come as a tourist to Bosnia, and to come as a stranger to someone's house like a tourist and a friend. Believe me... I hope I helped! :-)
2006-11-06 07:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by Jovan 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
In most of cases people are not that "backwards", but it depends in which area the girl lives and what her religion is.
There is something else too: it's a different thing to visit her town and stay in a hotel and a totally other thing to stay in her own house. Even if her family is OK with that, neighboors probably won't.
I'm not from BiH, but I have friends there.
2006-11-06 09:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by Eleni del Egeo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"It can't be that backwards..."
When I went to the US (CT) to see my girlfriend which spent a highschool year there her guest mother didn't allow me to share the room with my girlfriend.
To use your words: "Haha, are you serious?! What's the deal?! Is it frowned upon that much?"
I think it depends from your point of view who is really "backwards". Every culture has its very own backwardness. Try to respect her. Jovan is right.
2006-11-06 20:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by Danijel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is throwing the bull at you
2006-11-06 10:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋