I'm Not Unhappy But..?

Question

Sometimes when I sit there and think about my life before and all the bad stuff, I get this weird feeling. A Few months ago when i moved i had a "cutting " problem. I Don't do it anymore, but lately i get this weird feeling. And I feel like I HAVE to do it or i'll just go crazy. Of course i don't want to tell my parents this because they'll take me to counselling which they've threatened to do since my brother.. well, "abused" me.


Anyway, my point is, I don't know why i get these weird feelings of wanting to hurt myself. Or why .. ? ;s

And I'm NOT MAKING THIS UP. I'm Actually Being Serious.

he did go to jail. and hes been there since he was 14. hes 17 now. almost 18. .. but hes out now..

Answer 1

Yes, if I was you mom/mum I would ask you to try counselling. If they know (and if it's true) that you're brother abused you (!) why haven't they done something already?
You have hate feelings toward yourself which you need to resolve because you aren't the problem.
If you were abused, you do not need to abuse yourself further.
Get help.

Answer 2

You've used the phrase, "threatened", when talking about your parents' possibly setting up an appointment with a counselor. Either you see counseling as a bad thing or else your parents are making it seem like a punishment to you.

Some counselors may not be particularly helpful to some people (when there is, say, a "wavelength" difference between the client and the counselor), but for the most part a person who gets the feeling that he/she wants to cut him/herself has got something going on way down deep - whether or not the person feels generally ok.

Even if this is something you no longer do, just the fact that the urge comes up tells you that you do have something that needs to be addressed (and there's a good chance it isn't something you or your parents can deal with without professional help).

I've heard that people get the urge to cut themselves in order to feel something for even a little while. I'm not sure, though, whether cutting may also be something someone with a little OCD could do as a result of the chemical imbalance that causes OCD.

I think you should tell your parents this isn't about your brother and it isn't even about feeling particularly unhappy. Tell them that even though you feel fine enough you have this thing and know it isn't what should be happening and would like to talk to someone about it. If you make the decision to ask for help it won't be something our parents "do to you". It will be your decision. It will make you see yourself in control of your own issues. It will make your parents and a counselor see that you are trying to address an issue in a sensible way.

You could tell a counselor that the first thing you would like from hi/her is a good understanding of why these urges come up. The job of a counselor isn't just to ask you to "rehash your feelings". It is to give you concrete information and guidance.

Tell your parents that this is something you don't feel comfortable talking about with them (if that's the case) right now but may eventually be more comfortable talking about it. Tell them that the best thing they can do for you is respect your wish to see a professional and your need to just talk about it with that professional.

There is a chance that whatever is at the root of these feelings you have is not about any abuse at all but could more be about how the situation was handled or it could be about something entirely unrelated.

Answer 3

YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND TELL YOUR PARENTS AND THEY SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU TO COUNSELING WHEN YOUR BROTHER ABUSED YOU.

Remember this you did nothing wrong your brother did. and cutting yourself implies that you feel dirty inside and ugly but you are not dirty or ugly you are a good person and you did not do anything wrong. Your brother should be arrested and your parents should help you. DO NOT CUT IT WILL NOT MAKE THE PROBLEM GO AWAY. YOU ARE HURTING INSIDE AND YOU WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW AND CUTTING IS THE WAY THAT SO PEOPLE DO THAT. BUT YOU CAN GET HELP AND STOP HURTING. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE WILLING TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP AND ASK FOR HELP THAT IS THE HARDEST STEP. I PROMISE YOU AND I AM A DR. YOU DID NOT DO ANY THING WRONG.

Answer 4

I'm sorry that you percieve seeing a counselor as a punishment; something your parents have "threatened" to do. It's a very useful approach, and you might go through the school counseling office (and on your own, behind your parents' backs) in order to take the power from them and make it your own decision. Failing that, you can speak anonymously with a rape crisis center and they can refer you elsewhere if need be. They'll be very caring, though. They know how difficult it is to place such a call to them.

Answer 5

You really should get help perhaps see a school psychologist without your parent's knowledge if you are afraid of how your parents will react. People that cut/stab etc.. feel an overwhelming level of emotions, thoughts and feelings which they find temporary resolve from inflicting injury upon themselves. They gain a sense of control although the feeling is temporary, they lack other methods for dealing with these situations. It may seem like a small thing, but can eventually lead to something bigger.

Answer 6

It seems like you're not yet getting over with your bad experience. Like when that particular memory returns, you seem to like to be reminded of how you survived the pain you suffered. So you feel like hurting yourself because you want to see how you'll endure the pain yet again.

Or perhaps, you feel like hurting yourself because you want something that will exceed the pain you suffered in the past and hoping it to become an experience that will make you forget of that particular past experience.

Going to counselling should not actually become a threat for you. It's help! You need it to get over the pain you suffered. However, it might not be easy for you to try to go to a counselor as you may be worrying about getting embarrassed, then maybe you should discipline yourself into getting rid of the bad memory. Find something that will redirect your attention to whenever you feel like that bad memory's about to return again.

Take care.

Answer 7

The only research done on this subject matter, is currently going on in Germany and it's called" Borderline-syndrome, I have met a few people with this problem, and there is a Group in Munich who work exclusively in this field. As I know it is not done in the US,
and falls under general Psychology. So check on it in the Web, maybe you'll find sites with translation.
Good luck to Ya.