what would you say if your partner asked if they could sleep with someone else?

Question

i no someone who knows someone who knows someone lol that asked his wife if he could sleep with other women. he says he loves her and wants to be with her forever but he wants to have sex with other woman if she lets him and just purely for sex nothing else. he says he wont ever love anyone else. that woman is considering it as she trusts him. my advice was it was not true love, if he needs to go astray but my friend thinks that men can have sex without feelings, what do you think?

Answer 1

I absolutely believe that both men and women can have sex without feelings; however I would never want to be in a committed relationship where my partner or I could have sex with someone else. In answer to your question...First I'd laugh, then I'd probably feel very hurt that he would even consider such an act, after all we are in a committed marriage, then I'd probably tell him that I think he should be single if he wants to act single. Nothing kills a marriage faster than doubt, and after that question I would doubt that he was content with our relationship.

Answer 2

I would say that he didn't give a flip about me. If he had the nerve to ask a stupid question like that, he is crazy. I think that some men (&women)out there can have sex with a person and have no feelings about it, BUT a man can not make love with out feelings. There is a difference in having sex with someone and making love to someone. So if my husband ever had the nerver to ask me this question, I would tell him if that is what he wanted to do, go right ahead, but he sure wouldn't have a home to come back to as he would have no respect for me OR himself if he did this. Also I might even kick him out anyway for asking me that in the first place as that would be telling me that he had no respect for me in the first place for even thinking about doing that. No husband or wife is going to even think about wanting to sleep with another person if they truely love their mate.

Answer 3

Some people have a unique definition of what love is and to these people, love does not always mean and include secluded sex with only their spouse. I'm not talking about cheating. I'm talking about open, permissive sex with an outsider. Who is to say whether or not someone else loves or doesn't love his or her spouse. Only THAT person knows who they themself loves and doesn't love.

An arrangement like third party sex COULD work provided BOTH parties (the married couple) agree with it and are secure enough in themselves and each other to handle it.

I think the decision is completely up to the parties involved. No one else can say yes or no. Only the ones involved know whether it's right or not.
It wouldn't be cheating if the other spouse agrees, knows and is okay with it prior to it happening.

I would not immediately throw my husband/boyfriend out, and run to the divorce court, just because he asked me that question.
If his asking that question were that disturbing (and not everyone would be disturbed by that question) to someone, wouldn't it be better to delve deeply into the reason behind that question and seek intense couple's therapy FIRST.

It's worse to divorce someone just because they asked a question than it is to sleep with a third party contingent on the other spouse's full approval.

Answer 4

People in this culture think, anything goes, that's just pure wrong, it is obvious the guy has a twisted mind and if he has desires for other women, then he is lying through his teeth about ever loving this woman, men like this should remain unmarried simply because they aren't marriage material, tell your friend of a friend of a friend to stop fooling herself and file a divorce, she married a narcissist, (someone way too full of himself)
He didn't want to marry her, he wants to have his cake and eat it too,
That's what's wrong with society, no moral values! What happened to the marriage vows, have they gone down the drain?

Answer 5

Believe me, men are such hound dogs that they can have sex without any feelings involved. However, any man who is married to a woman and has the gall to ask her permission to have sex with another woman should be divorced immediately. This guy is obviously past thinking about cheating - and with or without the wife's permission, it's still cheating. This idiot is going to have sex with another woman regardless of what his wife says, he just wants to not have to deal with the guilt if he does it. What an @ss this man is! Your friend of a friend needs to dump this moron like yesterday's garbage.

Answer 6

It won't work out that is for sure. Tell the someone who knows someone or who ever you are asking about that those things should never happen or want to be happened with someone else if they truly love the person they are with. It will turn into chaos and the girlfriend will never, ever trust him again.

Answer 7

That's just wrong!! If you are married to someone, you devote yourself to that person and that person alone! To me, there is no sex without feelings, it's called making love to a person. She should kick this guy out! If he loves her, he should not even think about sex with other woman!

Answer 8

It sounds like the husband just wants to have his cake and eat it too. Doesn't sound like much of a marriage to me. Whether the sex is associated with any feelings or not is not important. What she should be concerned about is the possibility that her husband will bring home STD's.

Answer 9

This woman must really be insecure if she agrees to letting her husband have sex with other women and he probably all ready has but he's trying to make it right by asking for permission now.

Answer 10

I think I'd probably start thinking of divorcing. Even saying no I don't think would stop him from doing what he wants, and eventually no matter what he will find someone else for sex.