My girlfriend has a child. She is in a relationship with a man who takes great care of her and the child even though the child is not his. She claims she is unhappy and is looking to me for advice, but I'm really unsure what to tell her. She has no job, no money, but has a wonderful life with this man, or so I assumed. I told her not to make any final decisions right now, to take her time and think it thru. What do you suggest? Thanks.
2006-11-05 17:39:09 · 11 answers · asked by bstr8upwitme 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Most people would say dont stay because of the child, but I disagree. I love children, I think they deserve both a mother and a father in their lives and lets face it. Most men dont see their children that often when you are separated. I'm not assuming this, i'm speaking from experience. She has no job, or money, if she would leave now it would be selfish of her for not putting the childs needs before their own. If she feels very strongly about it, then i suggest she get it together so she can make it on her own, but until then, she should stay put and try and communicate with her mate to make it better. Communication is the key here.
2006-11-06 03:40:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she cant support herself and her child right now, then she'd better think it through.
If she gets herself a job, and is able to be on her own, then she can make a decision. Personally I would not stay in a relationship "just for the kids". The children picks up on the animosity between the parents, trust me, thats how my parents were.
What it comes down to is: if she is unhappy in her current situation, only she has the power to change it. Change the way you see things, and what you see changes.
2006-11-05 17:45:27 · answer #2 · answered by cynthetiq 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If, she is not being hurt (physically or mentally) and her child is safe, then, she should stay and make some plans (get a job, save money, secure a place, etc.). Unless, you intend to take over the role of this boyfriend, I strongly suggest you remain an outside friend and not put yourself between them. You will be keeping her safe and saving yourself a lot of heartache!
2006-11-05 17:46:54 · answer #3 · answered by lynnguys 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that any mother would stay where the money is your child needs food,clothes and a roof on top of his head
I remember when I was a child we moved from home to home my mother was never happy she was beaten up by men.
She always went trough hell just so that we can have food to eat and go to school she never told or show us there was problems, but we new something was up.
It is difficult for any mother you want what is best for your baby!
2006-11-05 17:46:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she stays in the relationship for the sake of the child, she is doing a disservice to both herself and the child.
Every woman deserves to be happy, and can be, but they must have the strenght to walk away.
2006-11-05 17:46:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some mom and dad do finally end up staying mutually for the sake of the youngsters, and to be uncomplicated, it generally would not artwork out. you will possibly be able to stay mutually for a pair of weeks or perhaps even 5 years, yet theres nonetheless a raffle which you're making ruin up, and so as which you would be able to aswell get it over and finished with. your 2 year previous will barley undergo in concepts the ruin up, as for the others, you need to in basic terms determine which you clarify properley, whats going to ensue etc. of corse they're going to discover it no longer hassle-free, however the final public of babies ought to circulate by there mom and dad breaking up at the instant. additionally, regardless of in case you do stay with your husband, you will possibly be able to grow to be clinically depressed, or perhaps basically somewhat down, and childrens even of an extremely youthful age can %. up on that. so it could injury them much less in case you probably did go away him. My mom and dad spilt up while i replaced into 9, and that i've got been given over it! in basic terms make a humorous tale or something... saying something like ''good day atleast you get 2 massive birthday promises now'' or something. just to interrupt the stress, and reassure them this is going to be ok. you at the instant are not being egocentric interior the slightest, maximum mothers might question there very own happiness for the sake of there babies, yet i desire u will come to comprehend what's sweet for you and your loved ones. in basic terms undergo in concepts, in the journey that your unhappy, then this is perchance to consequence them. in case you could no longer deliver urself to go away your husband, perchance attempt marrage counsilling as quickly as/two times each week. perchance until now you ruin up... spend somewhat time working on your marrage, just to work out in case you could re-easy the spark. 11 years is an prolonged time, there ought to being something there properly worth battling for? sturdy success
2016-11-27 21:46:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds kinda selfish! I'd tell her she needs to grow up! But then again if she's not happy and she is that selfish the guy deserves better!
2006-11-05 17:44:05 · answer #7 · answered by *~BETHY~* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take up the offer.
2006-11-05 18:11:32 · answer #8 · answered by san_pellegrino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont stay together for the kids
they see and hear more then you think
2006-11-05 17:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by Kelly Bundy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hell No
I'd leave.
2006-11-05 20:58:07 · answer #10 · answered by anitababy.brainwash 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋