Question w/ sexual content, Closed minded ppl need not answer...?

Question

I have a dilemma. I want the younger demographics to answer this more from their experiences rather than their opinions. I am in college and am still a virgin. Its not that i haven't had the opportunity but rather because i think it immoral to engage in such without some sort of commitment. Some of My friends, both female and male, think that hooking up at parties is just part of the social environment but i do not think so; not to say that i havent been tempted. I guess i am also afraid of STD's too; although there are steps to take to prevent this but they are not 100%.

So what is your opinion.

Answer 1

You have decided what is important to you, which is fine.

Answer 2

I would never just randomly hook up w/ people at parties. It's risky. But, if that's what you like, more power to ya, ya know. I'm not preaching. I am 24 and have only been with one man and he is my fiance. If I didn't meet him I believe I still would be a virgin! I lost mine at 19. We were eachother's firsts. That's a lot more special than just hooking up with some random person at a party. And wondering what they "had" lol or whatever. A lot of people were completely amazed that I waited "so long". But oh well. I don't care what other people think. I was actually afraid of having sex. That is another reason why I waited "so long". But the 1st time w/ my fiance, it was so natural and felt like I was w/ the right person, I wasn't even scared. We actually only waited a month into dating before we did it, lol. So, obviously, we knew that it was right to be with eachother.

Answer 3

You seem to have strong morals...are you waiting for marriage or just a loving relationship? While I am on your side, I mean this with all sincerity when I say that you don't want to way too long. It becomes creepy at some point. Usually college is when people start to meet and form loving, serious relationships. Have you not had a serious relationship because you are too busy having fun and not worrying about commitment? (Nothing wrong with that!) I have only had one partner and he is now my husband. We did have pre-marital sex and I dont regret it. If it is the worry of contracting a disease that is stopping you from sex, make sure your partner is tested before going all the way. If they refuse, they weren't worthy of your time anyway!

Answer 4

I'm one of the Old Dinosaurs here (straight female, 48; married 29+ years) and I applaud you for your decision-----because it sounds like you've done some thinking about what's right for YOU, and you're not just automatically following along with ANYONE'S "party line".

While some folk can have recreational sex and enjoy the heck out of it, most people I know find that sex is much, much better when you happen to care a lot about the person(s) you're bedding. This implies a considerable degree of emotional intimacy and commitment (which CAN happen outside of marriages, by the way).

I've also seen a number of nice relationships deteriorate because having sex was SO much more compelling than was talking.....and you NEED a lot of talking to develop, and maintain, a relationship. There's a lot to be said for going slowly....

And in terms of the STDs issue: any activity that involves possible exchange of sexual fluids between partners is **potentially** risky; latex or hypoallergenic condoms REDUCE the risk a lot but are not guaranteed. As a nurse, have never heard of anyone who got involved in a pregnancy, or contracted a STD, by staying completely celibate OR by limiting their activity to personal self-stimulation.....

If you're cool with your choices, stick with them.....and if anyone hassles you---start wondering "what's in it for them, or why are they leaning on me?" Your body, your life, your choices! Best to you, and here's my best hopes that you have wonderful, loving, caring, joyous relationships down the road!

Answer 5

I'm in the older demographic group, but I applaud you on your choice. It's sounds like you have good morals, along with good common sense. It's great that you don't follow the crowd. If possible wait until your married for religious belief. If you don't make sure it is special with someone you love and trust. The outcome could be amazing. Trust should be in bold, because you are right. STD's is something you should worry about and your friends should be very careful. Stay focused, sounds like your are already. Your parents should be proud of you.

Answer 6

I went without sex from February to October of this year, even as i became on excursion in another u . s . a .. I survived, and became like hmm, what if I had tried to very last till now I went on excursion? nicely my end became that I in all likelihood would've been happier had I waited for that one certain particular one. So the alternative is amazingly yours my buddy, I have had sex with women at activities and those type of girls are not worth some time also, those women and men do all that loopy stuff because they believe it really is what everyone else is doing so as that they do it! If everyone took a step decrease back and became like "comprehend what? not everyone is doing reason i'm not!" It does not be the social norm and human beings like you that opt for to attend may be the norm. So i'm hoping you carry out for my sake and for the sake of everyone else accessible that needs they might want to've waited to. Oh i'm a medic too and enable me allow you to comprehend STD's are terrifying! i have considered thier outcomes first hand in my line of work...

Answer 7

Being a very spiritual person myself, I also feel the same way about sexual activity. I do not want it to just be random and meaningless. It isn't just about getting off. It is an expression of love and commitment. You are not alone in how you feel about this. I know many gay men who feel the same way and have met many who did not feel that way at first but then changed their minds that they, too, would not engage in sexual activity without a deep commitment (and then they defined the level of commitment....for example one friend I know waits for a year and figures that if the commitment to just be with each other and date each other can last a year then they can go deeper to where they move in together and begin being sexual....other friends use a timescale as well 3 months, 6 months...and other friends use a commitment scale rather than a time scale - a commitment scale is where a list of commitments/promises are made and once they are reached, done, kept then various different sexual activity occurs). These methods seem to work. Of all my friends those who have commitment scales/timescale/etc all seem to have longer, more satisfying relationships. Not all of them work out, but they usually end on a positive side (thus they end and still are friends....they both agree to the end after talking things through). In all but one instance in my own personal life did I follow this procedure. For me I found that I was deeply hurt and when the relationship ended neither of us were on amicable terms. To this day we are not friends, whereas I am still friends with many of my other exes. In any case, if you do slip up and do engage in sexual activity without a commitment or as strong of commitment as you'd like, just don't be too hard on yourself. It happens and you always have another chance (I also did this with a guy I met. We met and went out a few times and just when I thought things were at a level of seriousness and so I engaged in one level of sexual activity;using the commitment scale.;it turns out afterwards that he was already with someone else and admitted it to me a few days later....he felt bad about lying to me,I mentioned how important it was to be sexual with him, etc, and so out of his own guilt he confessed and apologized. At first I was hard on myself and felt rather stupid, but then realized that there was still another day ahead of me)

So that is my own humble opinion.

Peace be with you.

Answer 8

You do what's right for you and what you believe in. There should be more young men like you out there with your outlook on sex. Stick with your morals and don't let anybody convince you otherwise.
Everybody out there should be afraid of ST D's, because like you said, it's not 100% sure not to get one. Find a girl who appreciates the same values as you do and you will be happier in the long run.

Answer 9

I did alot of partying young because I had alot older friends. I was in middle school partying with high schoolers having the time of my life. The same thing continued when I got in high school there was plenty of one night stands. Then what happened a one night stand ended up being a life of hell till this day I got a girl pregnant. I had my first kid 13 days after my 17th birthday. I love my son to death but his mother is baby mama drama queen. I was an honor student with offers to college on football scholarships but it all came to an end because of a one night stand. So I applaud you for staying true to yourself.

Answer 10

Well, I am a Christian now, so of course I would say wait till your married. But now I'm gonna tell you what I did..lol.
I have been married now for almost 9 years but before I was married I did have sex which led to me having a daughter out of wedlock. Now that I'm married everyday I wish I could go back and change my mind and wait for sex, because the way I see it is that my virginity would have been the best possible gift I could've given my husband. I did have a BEAUTIFUL little girl, but I was in no way ready for her! I am happy and forgiven now, but I still regret my decision.
I don't know if I helped at all, hope so.

Answer 11

weigh out the alternatives, waiting for the right person and finding that commitment that you are looking for and getting to know the person really well first or not waiting and risking getting a sexually transmitted disease, which for some there are no cure, and others can kill you, you know from this evaluation waiting is the best option, you are looking for an answer that you have already made the right decision to