Family recovering from Domestic Violence.?

Question

My family and I are recovering from an incident that happened six months ago. Everything is working out good. I have been taking D.V. classes and going to counseling.
I am I good man who made a huge mistake and I think that is why my soon to be wife wants to work this out. Can the D.A. still go after me even if the victim does not want to testify and has not been in contact with the D.A. and she has not been served at all? She does not want me to go to prison, we want to keep our family together and it seems as if the D.A. does not care about that. I truly think people can change.

Answer 1

Let me be honest. The laws no longer make the victim responsible for testimony, in most states, so she is really quite powerless to change the report. The DA now has the case and they will be determining the outcome, not the victim.

Yes, people can change, but abusive partners usually don't UNLESS they are agressively prosecuted and receive "punishment" for their crime.

I won' t go into the long history of how this all came about, but I will tell you it came about because 65% of male/female relationships involve violence. I, myself, was one of those statistics, over 25 years ago. I had to leave, or someone was going to die. He just recently did the same thing to his new wife. BUT HE HAS NEVER EVER BEEN TO JAIL FOR THE CRIME. EVER.

I personally prepared testimony for a Senate hearing committee to have the laws changed where the perp MUST be arrested and agressively prosecuted.

25 years later I see the damage done to my children b/c the man simply would not keep his hands to himself. He blames everyone else, especially me and his new wife, but he has never had to face consequences.

I beg you, I implore you, get the help that is offered to you. Keep your hands to yourself. If alcohol or drugs figures any way into this scenario, get help for that as well.

I really would like to see people change, truly, but my sympathy lies primarily with the woman and the children. They are the vulnerable.

I wish you the best, I truly do.

Good luck.

Peace.

Answer 2

This is a serious issue. I believe one can truly change, but there are more steps than taking a class. You probably need counseling and to find a church and discover how humbling yourself to the power of God can change you. It helps to find others with interests which are positive. And find out what triggers your behavior toward violence. Don't expect anyone to change but you. You must keep on the path away from violence. Even if it means not watching boxing or playing fighting games. If you concern yourself with improving and growing into a better person, the D.A. will not be able to interfere, but if you feel like sliding backwards, find more positve ways to deal with issues.
If God is on your side, who can be against you?

Answer 3

I too think that people can change.

The problem with the DA is that too many people, mostly women, claim domestic violence to hurt their partner, to scare them, or to create drama in their lives. One person will claim domestic violence and when the other person goes along with whatever the first person wanted, then suddenly there wasn't any domestic violence, "it was all a misunderstanding" The DA can compel your fiance to testify, and if she changes her story from the report she filed with the police, she can be found guilty of perjury or for filing a false police report. The DA and police are tired of people using them to fix their domestic issues, when they can't settle them like the adults that they are, and then changing their story when their relationship starts getting better.
Also, people claiming domestic violence and then changing their story make it harder on people who really are dealing with a domestic violence situation. With so many "false claims" of domestic violence, law enforcement can tend to take a less than compassionate attitude toward claims of domestic violence. Kind of like the little boy who cried wolf-he cried it so many times people stopped responding to the call. When people claim domestic violence and then change their mind later, it becomes a nuisance claim.
So as to your situation, reguardless of whether your fiance wants to testify or not, the DA may have decided to use your case to set the example for to deter others from making false claims of domestic violence. And in some cases the DA will prosicute either the man for the domestic violence or the woman for the false claim.

Answer 4

the DA has 1 year to prosecute. finish your DV classes and if they do decide they want press charges u need proof on paper that u made an effort to get help . also get counseling and a cert.there also.