I just lost my dad this year to suicide. Right now even happy memories hurt to remember. I was wondering if there's anything at all I can possibly do to make this x-mas slightly easier on me.
2006-11-05 16:23:45 · 22 answers · asked by Nat 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
Do a relaxed Christmas. If you're not up for the mega-party/get-togethers, then avoid them. But, don't be completely alone. Perhaps a gathering with close friends/family members who truly get you and can respect your space. Try to remain positive. The hurt will always be there, but it will get better in time.
2006-11-05 16:34:55 · answer #1 · answered by EV 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Please understand what I am writing without taking any offense from it. What I write doesn't particularly pertain to your situation its an all in general overlook of your situation.
I personally think that suicide is one of the most selfish acts in the human life. The ones that love you the most you are not thinking about at the time of suicide. Your obviously not thinking about anything else except relieving yourself of the pain that your are feeling. When all you are going to do is make the ones who love you feel the same way you did before you made the decision for yourself.
As for you all you can do is be you and do what you would normally do on Christmas. All of life's experiences are test and obstacles to test your mental strength to see how strong you are. You can not let anybody elses life's decisions choose the path that you live your life on. I hope you find the strength to get past the tragedy that you are faced with and everything works out for the best. If you need somebody to talk to e-mail me at www.bucsone03@yahoo.com
2006-11-07 17:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by CRUNKMAN 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear about your loss. Why not give a few dollars to a charity of your choice in his memory at Christmas time. It will help others and make you feel good, that you are sharing his memory with others. Don't be alone, it will get easier. You will never forget but happy moments will be cherished.
2006-11-06 08:40:12 · answer #3 · answered by gert14 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you poor thing.
What I do to deal with negative emotions about people whether they are alive or dead, is to set up a little shrine. This may seem a little way out but it really does help.
To make a shrine, you find a little corner somewhere and put in some special things that remind you of that person. Such as a photo of you both or just your Dad when you were really happy. Also some favourite thing of theirs or a piece of hair etc. Then get some lavender and rosemary essential oil to burn in a little burner. And some sage in a bundle to ward off evil energy.
It makes you feel better that you are doing something for them and it helps you to think of them in a good way. Also try some walnut flower remedy (if you don't have a nut allergy) as this is good for grief and change. All available at a health food store.
Also try not to block out your feelings of grief. Let them emerge as you feel them. My dad died this year and I hadn't seen him for a while and there were deep underlying feelings that weren't resolved between us. I didn't even know he had died for 6 weeks so therefore was unable to find closure as I didn't attend his funeral. So making a shrine is a good way of dealing with unresolved, negative emotions. Try to remember little happy times you had. Good luck.
2006-11-05 22:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by anyamosaic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this is not the same but my Father passed away about 3 years ago and that first Christmas after he died was the worst. We did not want to loose the memories and traditions that we had with him so we created new ones and when we felt as if we could handle it we did some of the older traditions but not all of them maybe one or two.
I hope this helps you out hon
2006-11-05 23:40:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my Dad in 2000, to heart disease. I know that under your circumstances there are some feelings you are feeling that I can not comprehend. (but I attempted suicide myself before)
But I can tell you that I LOVE animals!!! So on Christmas my mom and I volunteered to work att he SPCA. We feed homeless dogs and cats and gave them daily exercise (just the 2 of us). I even bought them treats/ Christmas presents. It felt to good not to sit at home and remember what all the other christmas's were like. Instead I was busy taking care of animals whom know one in this world cared about. Volunteer at a shelter or a nursing home. You have so much to give, and inreturn you eill receive!
The next year we started a fresh with our traditional famtly gatherings!
You will get through this! Find/ rediscover your faith!
2006-11-05 17:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by Beautifulme 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Christmas is a family time and of course it hurts to lose a parent. Every Christmas I think of my parents, still miss them but I know they are with me in spirit. Perhaps a break away from what you used to do at Christmas, maybe go away or have dinner away from your familiar surroundings, just this once do it for yourself. Time heals all things but you must grieve and dad will be around you even though you cant see him. This year be different.
2006-11-05 21:03:57 · answer #7 · answered by Windsong 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All holidays are different. We try hard to make them the same which is what makes people so stressed. Plan to keep this one really simple. Allow yourself to spend time ONLY with the people you want to be with. Be gentle with yourself. When you are lonely, call someone. How many times have you said to someone, call me. Your friends and family really don't know what to do. Most of us are more than willing to spend time together and be supportive but we don't know how to ask someone to do it for US. When you need to be alone or away from the bustle.....do that too. Don't do anything this holiday out of obligation....do it because you want to....if you don't want to, don't.
I am sorry that your dad was so sick and so burdened that his life ended in suicide....I will pray for you and your family.
2006-11-10 04:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have my deepest sympathy. It is very difficult at anytime to deal with the death of a loved one, but it does seem extremely
hard at Christmas. Do something for someone else. Pick up
a few of the names off the "angel trees" and buy them something nice. Do something different this year. It will get easier with time but you will always remember. You cannot just bury the feelings.
Find a grief support group (they can really help).
2006-11-05 16:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by early bird 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You are never going to be able to get completely over it, especially less than a year after the event.
But my suggestion is to honor his memory this Christmas. I am sure he would want you to celebrate Christmas just like normal, surrounding yourself with happy memories and people you love. If you get a little emotional feel free to just step out of the room and have some time alone with just you and your dad.
One of the first steps to overcoming a tragedy like this is to acknowledge it, and embrace it. I encourage you to do just that.
2006-11-05 16:38:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋