Say you dated a guy for about a year and things were great and you were about to move in with him, and you guys talked about marriage and having kids, etc. Like two-three months before you guys were suppose to get an apartment you started feeling like this is the guy you'll be with forever and while that is what you want you start to realize you won't ever be single again....that you've jumped from one relationship to another all your life, you just wanted to be single for now...being 21. Does that make sense? Then a few weks before apt. time you guys start arguing and decide to take a break.
I guess what I'm asking is, is it selfish to tell a guy you just wanna be single right now, to have fun with friends, but you know your future is with this guy? Do you think the guy would understand? Wait for you? Like if you said "when I'm ready for a committed relationship, I know you're the one I want"...Do you ever just feel like you need to enjoy being single before you decide to be with som
2006-11-05 16:09:51 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
--eone you know you will be with the rest of your life? Oh yeah and a part of it is that it's a long dist relationship too and lives far away. he treats me like he loves me...hes always there for me and everything. thats not the problem. im 21 and i just feel ive always been in a relationship since HS and never had a chance to be single for that long and now that i have the guy i wanna be with for life, i feel like i need to just be single right now. And I feel bad b/c I kinda dated this guy I let live with me bc he just broke up with his g/f, but a few weeks later I kicked him out. When we were together it felt like I was with the wrong guy, I thought about me and my guy all the time, how we were close and intimate and I realized I am in love with him. Then we started talking again and while I know he's the one for me, I feel like I need to be single right now.
2006-11-05 16:11:43 · update #1
Sure. At 21, you're not ready for marriage or children, particularly, children. Stay single, hon. You ain't yet wife material. That will come later. It isn't an insult, it's just fact...... 21 is too young today, to get married.... Who you want at 21 isn't going to be the same guy you will want 5 years from now......
2006-11-05 16:13:16 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sometimes. But in my case it would mean divorce and child custody battles, ROFL.
But seriously, it's common to get cold feet like you're describing. You are young. You have a lot of life ahead of you and you're approaching the idea of being with this one guy with a bit of trepidation.
I think people of both sexes need to enjoy time on their own before settling down, just to experience what it is like. And so that they will appreciate the wonderful benefits of a long term relationship when they do get into one. The modern world of the dating merry-go-round is tiring and doesn't give people much opportunity to find out who they are and what they really like when they're so busy worrying about silly things like "does my butt look big in this?"
I don't know if the guy would understand. If I were a young guy I might try to read between the lines and think that perhaps you were trying to tell me that although you love me you're not ready for marriage and might not be and might think that there is some better guy out there?
It's a hard thing to decide. I wish you all the best.
2006-11-05 16:20:01 · answer #2 · answered by lucrx440.rm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you need to be single then you're not ready for a commited relationship. So be single for a little while. But don't expect him to wait for you. He might choose to, but it's selfish of you to assume he will.
And anyone saying 21 is too young to be married is a huge pessimist. I've been with my husband for 8 years, and married for 5. I'm only 25 years old. We have a 7 year old son together. Does everyone fair as well? No. But it's dependant on the person, not their age.
2006-11-05 16:15:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only person you need to be fair to is yourself. If you want to experience being single, go for it. It is your womens intuition telling you that something in the relationship is off. My man loves me very much but I chose to be single because I want to put myself and my school first and it is about time I start putting myself first. Trust your gut.
2006-11-05 16:13:55 · answer #4 · answered by l'il mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG YES
im kinda going thru that right now
i feel like i just wanna be left alone but i still want him there... when he is needed lol
its hard to explain
im still not sure what im feeling
2006-11-05 16:14:21 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly Bundy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋