My friend recently developed strong feelings for my best friend. He cares so much about her. Right now, she's with a guy that is possessive and obsessive and won't let her be herself. He practically lives with her and doesn't like her being around other guys. He doesn't like her family or her friends and discourages her seeing them. He thinks all her time should be spent with him. How can I make her see this guy is totally bad for her? She just got out of a relationship just like this one that ended VERY badly. My other friend is the complete opposite and she won't give him the time of day. He's depressed about it. How do I help them both???
2006-11-05 16:07:16 · 2 answers · asked by *Kacie* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She needs to get out! Is there any way you could show her a movie of a similar situation? Or have someone who has been in a controlling and borderline abusive relationship speak with her?Maybe hearing or seeing someone else go through it will resonate with her and she'll wake up. Seriously though, she has a pattern. All I can tell you to do is tell her that she is worth more... even if something inside of her feels like this man controlling her gives her some sort of sense of purpose and without him she could not stand on her own two feet, or is not worthy of a nice guy and deserves the poor treatment she is receiving, you need to tell her that all of those thoughts are just FALSE! It is all in her head and whatever makes her feel that she deserves sub-standard treatment is just wrong. She needs to be her own best friend, and so as her best friend, since she is crippled by some mental or emotional constraint, you will come in and help her up from where she is, and help her love herself as much as you love her as your friend. That is the kind of friendship and relationship she needs now. She needs a sense of self-worth, some self-esteem so that she knows she can stand on her own two feet away from this guy, and feel that she is worth something without him NEEDING her to be there and doing what he says all of the time. Once that is taken care of, then she can think about dating the really nice guy who will treat her well. Maybe he could tell her that she means something to him and he believes that she deserves better and that she has X, Y, and Z qualities that make her great and special and worth all of the happiness the world has to offer.
Right now she is being her own worst enemy. Lift her up, boost her confidence, and get her to drop this abusive jerk before he does something really bad to her... or before she gets pregnant with his kid and the kid has to suffer though his crap. Maybe ask what she would feel if her child were subjected to what she is being subjected to... if the decision is for someone other than herself, someone she cares more about, then maybe she'll think about it differently. Good luck!
2006-11-05 18:09:10 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a private journey. Have some previous fashions and then have a deep concept communique together with her. The alcohol will build your self belief and the communique will permit her know which you have faith her and nonetheless sense that telling this may not smash the friendship. day after on the instant tell her which you desire that what you mentioned the night until now did no longer smash the friendship.
2016-11-27 21:35:46 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋