What do I have left?

Question

Happily married for 8 years. Two beautiful daughters, one 5, and one 2. A wife I adore and a well-paying job that I enjoy as a head chef at a localy owned resturaunt. Everything came crashing down at once. My father died of cancer last June, 2 days before my birthday. 3 months later, my wife sends me to court for a divorce, I still can't figure out why she did. In the process of the divorce, I lose my job at the resturaunt, and now I'm giong from small job to job. Because I lost my job, she won custody rights to both of our daughters, and I get them 2 weekends a month. My (ex) wife has moved on, and is seeing another man, but I still love her, and I miss my daughters. Alls I have with me all the time is me golden retriever, Goldie, about the only thing I won from the divorce. I do pay child support, so I am always tight on money. Llook, I'm not the type to kill myself or anything crazy, but what do I have anymore?

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about your misfortune.
You have a second chance.
Life does not end with a divorce (maybe at the beginning it seems like it does). It just changes it's route.
You have a lot left.
You are alive and in control of your present. It is totally up to you how you choose it to be. It all could be for the best.
But maybe you will only see it later on in life.
God luck

Answer 2

Don, I know it feels like you have nothing left, and right now life is very hard. I work with folks in skilled nursing facilities, and many of them are brought there, and left there with nothing but a hospital gown. They find the strength to carry on, recuperate, and go home, or to another independant setting.

When I went through my divorce and felt like I had nothing left, I think of the loss these folks have gone through.

You have a great skill, 2 daughters who I am sure miss you and value the time they spend with you. You have a faithful companion, and hey! dogs are a great way to meet new people.

I dont want to minimize your pain, it is very real. But this is an opportunity to have a second chance at life, and do things differently. Although money is tight, look at the things you have always wanted to do, and become the person you always wanted to be. Be a good role model for your girls, and show them there is life after tragedy.

My thoughts are with you, and good luck.

Answer 3

Donald - dont give up- you have hope :) I know it doesnt seem like it right now, but there will be a brighter day. Noone ever said life was easy. I am sorry for the hard knocks that life has thrown you. Just know that there are people out there worse off than you that find the will to survive and succeed everyday. It sucks to have to start over like that, but sometimes, throwing yourself into rebuilding your life can be therapeutic and help your reach the light at the end of the tunnel that much quicker. If you can afford too, you might go in for some counseling or find a grief or divorce support group. There are people who care out there. Hug your golden retriever daily, she will give you unconditional love in return. WIshing you much luck, love and happiness in your future. . . .

Answer 4

Don, my heart genuinely goes out to you, because I know how you feel. I was there when my husband left me for another woman after been married for fifteen years. So, I don't have a miracle solution for you broken heart but I will tell you my story in the hope that it will convince you that THERE IS HOPE!

At first I was so devastated that I seriously thought of suicide. It was only the thought of my children that kept me from doing it. Then I force myself to take a hard look at the person I had become. Whining, pathetic, self pitying etc. etc. A jobless, ugly, overweight person that was no pleasure to be with. So, I decided there and then I'm going to fight. For myself. For my children, for everything that was dear to me. I went on a diet, I got a job and slowly I gained back my self-esteem. Everytime I saw my ex I pretend to be very cool and confident althought my heart was still aching. And you know what? It wasn't long before he broke up with his girlfriend and start visiting me. We fell in love again and today we are very happily married.

So what you need to do, Don, is first try to get a decent job that will give you back your self-esteem. And change your attitude towards your ex wife. Be friendly, confident and composed when you're with her. Act as the strong man you really are. First gain her respect back, try to be civilized when you're together. Don't say anything about getting back together. Not just yet. I can garantee you if she sees you as winner in stead of a loser, she'll come around. The two of you had too much together to just throw it away. i'll pray for you.

Answer 5

Hey Don,
Sorry to hear about all the bad things that have come your way lately but hey it can only get better so start looking up and stop dragging your feet!!! As far as your wife she has moved on its time for you to start getting over her and get on with you life. As for what you have: You have good health, You have Two beautiful little girls that love you, you have gone through all this hell and came out strong for it...smiles. You have Goldie to keep you company and I bet she puts a smile on you face when you need one...smiles. Don't give up on you...so a couple doors closed on you...just give it time and doors will start opening again..smiles. Oh another thing you can have a great evening or day tomorrow if you allow yourself too..smiles. Only Positive Thinking is going to get you where you want to be again..smiles.
Take Care

Answer 6

You have your life. You have time to get your life back together. You can still be the best daddy you can be by keeping in touch with them. You can find a better job. You can find a better woman. Since you are single have fun and start living life. It will get better it cannot get any worse. Good luck

Answer 7

Donald, you have hope. Nobody can take away hope from you no matter how hard they try.

At least you get to see you lovely daughters 2ce a month and at least you can get small jobs here and there. trust me you are fine. One thing you need to do is not to give up, or to lay in the seats of scoffers who will laugh at you and mislead you.

Rise up above the situation, straighten your collar and thank God that at least you have hope.

Hope to face another day, hope to get another small job, hope to see your kids 2ce in a month.

That hope will be your greatest solution, just don't lose it!

Answer 8

Damn, Don. That all SUCKS.

God has a very strange way of humbling us. Look at what he did to Job. Please trust me when I say, you will come out better in time. Keep your faith (if you still have it). Things will get better. You won't get your Dad back, and I am sorry...Dads are so important. But you will get a better job, a better wife and your daughters will idolize you. Look at Job, again.

Answer 9

you have your whole life ahead of you thats what you have!!! god works in mysterious ways,you dont know what your future holds.you could die tomorrow and you can at least say you were married and you have two beautiful kids. my husband was married before and has two boys he thought he could never go on with life without them .then he met me we have a kid together.he sees his other two every other weekend.its been about 6yrs and his kids asked me why they got a divorce i was honest with them i told them the truth. so my point is hang in there.THERE is someone out there for everyone!!!you just have to find her!!!

Answer 10

its going to take more time. it will get better. you still have your children. they will always be there, just not with you all the time.