I've felt this way for awhile, but I keep doubting myself because of my religious family. I don't want to disappoint them, but I want to be myself. How do I tell if its "just a phase" or if its the real deal? (its been maybe a year feeling like that) And what do I say to my family?
2006-11-05 15:25:09 · 16 answers · asked by just.confused 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
This is a hard question to answer without knowing your age, Yes it mattters...please take the answers you get with a grain of salt if you are a teenager, Lifes best lessons are experiance, so just give it some time ok,go on about your life and have fun.....Bye Deb
2006-11-05 15:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by deb s 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I had a problem like this, my parents think me being gay is unnatural, so i can understand how reluctant you maybe towards coming out as Bi.
To figure it out search inside yourself to see if you are accually attracted towards guys, if you still can not tell, you could accually have SAFE sex with a man. Just make sure that if you do that there could be consequinces (the person you have sex may tell people about it). If you have a gay friend that you think is cute i might ask him If you dont want people to know about it make sure to pick a trustwerty person. Also i wouldnt do anal sex, you would want to lose you "V" card to someone you cared for, just stick too Oral sex until you are good and ready.
As far as your family, if you think they will react superbadly, i wouldnt tell them at least not at first. Wait until you are confortable with yourself and who you are. I know it is hard to lie about it, maybe just tell your close friends. That is what worked for me, as soon as i got to the point where i didnt care who knew, i told my parents. They did freak out, but me and my dad are closer than ever because i am no longer lieing to him and my mom accually asks me do go shopping and stuff now, so all in all my life has turned out ok, and so will yours. Just take it slow if you are bi or gay you have the rest of your life to have fun, dont rush to much.
I hope this helped you, and the one thing i wish someone told me when i was going though this was that about one in ten people are gay, so you are really never alone.
2006-11-05 23:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by Doug 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you SURE you might "just" be bi? Maybe you're actually gay, but like many people who first suspect something is different about themselves, choose the word "bi" because it seems to offend hard core religious types LESS, because they think there's still a chance to "save" you.
At any rate, DONT worry.
You need to find a book called "Peculiar People". This book will help you tremendously, it goes deep into the heart of religion and homosexuality. It was written about homosexual Mormons, but it is an EXCELLENT read for ANYONE going through what you are.
Best of luck to you. I know how it is.
2006-11-05 23:42:58 · answer #3 · answered by Alias400 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi. My family is somewhat religious too. I used to think I was gay, so I finally came out to my mom, I could tell I had disappointed her so I took back what I said the next day. But now I know I'm Bisexual, I'm 17 & I know if I told my family it would take the huge load off my chest & I'd feel really relieved but I know they would all look at me different. So I'm going to wait before I tell them. If you feel you should tell your family, then I say go for it, but if your young like me I'd wait awhile. Hope that helps. :)
2006-11-05 23:36:54 · answer #4 · answered by kyle 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just take it easy for now. Try not to stress out about it. Time will tell.
And someone said that stating you sexual orientation is like sitting down to the dinner table and sharing a wet dream. Not so. If it were, then heterosexuals would not make such a big hairy deal out of their sex lives.....Thirty thousand dollar weddings, making a point of putting pics of their spouse out at work, holding hands in public, inviting dates to go to family functions......
Saying you are gay or bi does not mean you're discussing the nitty gritty details of your sex life, any more than inviting someone to a wedding is the same as forcing your sexual fantasies on someone.
2006-11-05 23:37:51 · answer #5 · answered by Angry Gay Man 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should test the waters.
You are probley gay, but if it makes you feel better to label yourself bi, go for it. Very few people are truley bi, its usually something people use as a crutch until they are ready to admit what they really are.
As far as your religious family, dont tell them. Dont let them influence you, live your life as you wish, and dont worry about it. You cant live you life for everyone else, trust me, I did it for years. Eventually it will eat at your soul and you will explode.
2006-11-05 23:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by arielsalom33 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Take a "wait and see" attitude. How far has it gone? Just relax and see how it plays out. You have plenty of time.
I would not tell ANYBODY until I was sure. No use to cause problems for no reason.
Good luck. Pops
2006-11-05 23:29:03 · answer #7 · answered by Pops 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Who you are meant to be. Your family will (or should) love you no matter what. Where do people think gays, lesbians, bisexuals, etc. etc. etc. came from if God didn't make them? Sheesh.
2006-11-05 23:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by bradon.rekai 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't get why people feel the need to tell their family about their sexual attractions. To me, it's like sitting down at the table and sharing your wet dreams with one another. No one really wants to know.
If you were getting married, had a life-threatening disease, were raped, or were pregnant than I would understand telling them. But otherwise, just keep it to yourself.
2006-11-05 23:29:51 · answer #9 · answered by Belie 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I personally know an ex lesbian. She was a hardcore - out on the street protesting for homosexual rights etc. Anyway she let God have his way in her heart and is now married (13 years already)with three children and one of the happiest people I have met. Miracles do happen.
2006-11-05 23:32:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋