My husband of over 3 yrs,has never once romanced me,except when he was first seeing me,then the day of marriage he completely changed.He has never given me a birthday gift,taken me out for a romantic evening out,or even given me a long and deep kiss on a regular basis.When I confront him about this he says hes not the romantic type and that he feels the only time he needs to spend with me is when we go do our weekly shopping.I am a housewife due to health issues,and I only get to go out on sunday evenings for our weekly grocery shopping,other then that I get taken to the church occassionally,and those are the only places I get to go.I am 26 yrs old and I have been suffering terribly in this marriage due to feeling neglected and unloved,Ive tried everything,getting my own friends,my own hobbies,making myself busy,distracting myself with books and even prayer.He refuses to change and says dont expect this from him ever (meaning expect him to be romantic or give me intimate time.HELP
2006-11-05 15:15:53 · 13 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't stop them. They are part of being human. I would listen to your husband because it sounds like he's not going to change. You really need to think about getting into therapy to figure out if you want to stay in the marriage.
2006-11-05 15:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you've made it clear what you need. He's made it clear he cannot do that. Accept it, or divorce him.
Could it be that he shows his love in ways you never really stop to think about. Do you ever have to wonder where he is at night? Or do you feel pretty confident that he's faithful to you. Does he go out and spend all of his time at a bar, drinking?
Does he beat you? Or threaten you? Or verbally abuse you? You didn't say that he did, so I'm guessing no.
If he doesn't care for you, why would he still be with you? You stated you're at home, because of illness, so he's certainly not with you just because he wants your money.
The birthday present thing, I guess that would hurt me, too. But, doesn't look like he's gonna change. Deal with or move on.
2006-11-05 15:25:44 · answer #2 · answered by Angry Gay Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is clear your only chance to make your life better is to divorce. He has made it clear this is it for you. Your husband does not love you. Not sure why you married. If he loved you he would have no problem at least talking with you about this and being at least a little intimate.
You deserve far more than this.
Sorry but you really have only two choices. Stay and live with it or leave.
You are so young. You need a man that will give you what you need. Please consider going. If you have no children now is the time. With children everything gets very complicated.
2006-11-05 15:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just another guy who lays it on thick romantically until he hooks you, and then tells you he's just not that kind of guy?! Uhm he was, and now he isn't and never will be?!
If romance, love and attention are things that you really need from your partner, and there is no possibility of you ever getting these things from him, it's time to move on. Better to be miserable for a little while until you get over him, as opposed to being miserable for the rest of your life with him. Be strong, do the right thing for you, and good luck.
2006-11-05 20:56:08 · answer #4 · answered by Das 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A big part of a marriage is showing affection and you deserve to be loved and treated like he is his universe. My husband isnt the romantic type but he does buy me gifts,kisses me everytime he goes to work and etc. Your husband needs to be a better husband to you it doesnt cost a thing to let someone know you care and love them. You are only 26 so am I if he doesnt change find a new man. Why be in a relationship where your partner shows no affection tell him what you want him to do to make your marriage better or you are leaving this marriage.
2006-11-05 15:32:55 · answer #5 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something Specially
For You
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.
By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
2006-11-05 15:28:37 · answer #6 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that you need to ask yourself some questions
1. Is the time I invested in this relationship something I want to give up? Can I give it up?
2. Do I love myself?
3. Is my husband unableness to be romantic something I can deal with for the rest of my life?
After answering these questions for yourself, you should be able to come up with an answer that will be best suitable for you-good luck:-)
2006-11-05 15:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by heynow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So why are you still with him?Why won't you leave?You have the power to stop this any time you want to,all you have to do is leave,file for divorce,and move on.Get a backbone and get started.Or stay and be rejected and neglected.Your choice.
2006-11-05 15:22:45 · answer #8 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I have been in that boat.
You have done everything you could. Your speeches and hobbies and threats mean nothing to him, unfortunatley.
I'd say try this or that, but you have. You should actually leave and have a good life, and someone will come into it to share it with you, not suck the life out of you.
2006-11-05 15:20:28 · answer #9 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like he doesn't care about u much...i'm sorry
you make up your mind if you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like that or not, then u should have a serious talk with him and tell him what u decide.
u r still very young and u will be able to get over him and move on
2006-11-05 15:39:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋