My fiancee and I are unsure about having a c-section or a natural delivery with our first child, any advice?

Question

My fiance and I are facing a decision concerning the upcoming birth of our first child. She favors the idea of a natural delivery, but I would like her to have a c-section as I fear afterwards it might result in lessened pleasure for her during intimacy. She feels my concerns are irrational, but I have heard and read stories on occasion. In addition, being a man who is not large by any means, I find myself worrying even more than I might otherwise. I do realize ultimately the decision is in her hands, but maybe someone has some insight that would go a ways towards either easing my mind or validating my concerns in a way that would be convincing for my fiancee.

Answer 1

Please do not be so selfish.. do not force a c-section. I had an emergency c-section... but I had a reaction to the numbing meds.. and you guessed it.. re-gained my feeling back DURING the c-section. I can tell you feeling your abdomen cut open is the closest thing to hell on earth as you can get. They had to knock me out during, completely under.. and my baby went into respiratory stress because of me having to be completely put under. He spent a week and a half in the ICU... Please let her have a natural birth... she will have just as much pleasure as before.. I have had 3 natural with episiotomies..

By the way... It took me about 41/2 months to fully recover from my c-section.. and no sex that whole time as opposed to the 6 weeks for a vaginal delivery. I still have permanent numbness that I will never regain from my c-section from where they had to cut through nerves.

Answer 2

Natural is always the way to go if you have a choice. Your fiancee will have a much longer recovery if she had a c-section. Also, by having a c-section you limit the amount of children you will be able to have, doctor's don't want you to have more than 2 or 3 children because of the old scar tissue. A c-section is major surgery. I wouldn't worry about her not being able to enjoy intimacy, just give her a little time to recover and everything will pretty much be back to normal.

Answer 3

I think you are being selfish and more concerned with YOUR pleasure than hers. A woman DOES go thru a lot when giving birth naturally, (Ive done it already) and yes, it does change intimacy (orgasm wise, personally) for a woman. It also depends on the person and she may be the same after giving birth,ya never know. Besides, doctors dont normally let you choose c-section unless the life of the mother/baby are in danger..well, thats at least here in SFO,California. a c-section is much more difficult to recoop from - every womans body goes through some sort of trauma but thats part of childbirth...so go easy on her and honestly go vaginal if you can.

Good luck. Intimacy will be the LAST thing on her mind..well, at least for a few months anyway! dont go pressuring her into having sex either - put her needs first before your own!!!

Answer 4

A vaginal birth is the most natural way to go, and the dafest with the LEAST amount of healing time in the end. I already have a little girl and she was delived via c section the recovery time was horrible!!! I am now 6 months pregnant with my second an dwould love to havea vaginal delivery.....as for feeling like you won't be as "tight" after a vaginal delivery as before, the vagina is very stretchy and therefore will have little or no effect on the satisfaction you or your partner have during intercourse after the baby comes!

Answer 5

You really don't get to pick. C sections are done when there is a reason such as a small framed woman and a large baby, or other health issues such as back problems, etc. I kinda want to say shame on you for even thinking such things. Just as vaginal tissue expands to accommodate a penis during intercourse and returns to it's normal size afterwards, so it goes for a birth. If you do some internet research I am sure you will find your concerns to be without merit.

Answer 6

I think you are being completely selfish. I have had two natural births my last baby is 5 months old and I too had an episiotomy. He was almost 9 pounds (8pounds 12 ounces). It is such a beautiful and emotional experience that I'm sure your fiancee will want to experience first hand. It hasn't lessened my pleasure at all. I would say let her go with the natural birth if that is what she wants to have. She will not regret it.

Answer 7

If there are no complications go with natural childbirth.. A c-section is major surgery.. I have had 3 due to complications and high risk pregnancies...I would have much prefered to have them naturally and if I were you I'd be listening to your fiance.It's her body her choice. C- cections are not something you get over in a couple of days. I really think your fears are irrational and I think you have been listening to too many horror stories. I had a natural delivery with my first baby and I was as good as ever down there.. don't worry

Answer 8

A vaginal birth is MUCH better for her. A c-section is MAJOR surgery. She will not have lessened sexual pleasure after a vaginal birth at all after she has healed. Everything down there goes back to normal just fine. You really have no right to ask her to have a c-section. that procedure should be for medical reasons only and most doctors will not perform one that is not medically necessary. Of course she will be sore for a bit the first couple of times you have sex after the birth, but that goes away quickly. You need to get over your own insecurities and put your fiancee's health and well-being first.

Answer 9

ur fears are understandable but u should know that if u give ur partner time to recover after birth the intensity of what u share will be just as much. in my opinion the natural birth is always the best option in cases where they pose no risk or danger to the mother or the baby.
modern science has help to reduce the risks and pains associated with child delivery proceedures so ur wife and baby should be fine. and while ur fears and concerns are understandable u need to know that natural birth poses no risk at all to what u want.

Answer 10

Your fiance is right--your concerns are completely irrational.....it will not have an affect on her sexually.

Plus, the previous people are right....you don't get to choose!! The decision isn't even up to her--it is only going to be a c-section if it is medically warranted!! C-sections are not fun at all and they are major surgery. It is not the best way to have a child at all.