Abusive Boyfriends?

Question

I know its none of my business but, since my friend had a baby her boyfriend seems to hit her alot. I know because i see it happen alot, were neighbors. [duplex] and i can hear alot of it and see it happen out in the back. I asked her about it but she just kept changing the subject. I'm worried that one day he'll go too far. Shes been in the hospital once already.. I dont know if i should do something or if that would make things worse.
Sorry i care alot for my friends.

She wont go to a shelter, or talk to police, because since shes 15 shes scared that they'll take her baby, ' cause shes "unfit " to be a mother at her age..

Answer 1

TELL SOMEONE!!! TELL THE POLICE!!! IT WILL GET WORSE IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING!!! SHE COULD GET KILLED!!!!

Answer 2

I am going through a similar situation with my neighbour:( If you do not want to call the cops you should start marking the incidents on the calendar. You could mark down the days that it happens and if you see bruises and so on so there is a written record of the abuse. The cops will not do much, but charge a bunch of fines and possibly issue a restraining order that people usually break anyway. I say a news program last weekend where a lady was severely abused and the only thing that caused the abusive husband to go to jail for a substantial amount of time was the written record that was recorded by the battered ladies boss.

Answer 3

But think of it this way the next time she might not be so lucky and it could of been you to save her. She isnt going to tell you to help her she is scared. If you are a good friend call the police or the domestic hotline for battered women where I am from there is this program called S.W.A.N. She needs to get out before it gets worse. Whats so sad is women that get abused are afraid and dont knopw the way out. If he is abusing her just imagine what could happen to that innocent baby. I am not trying to make you feel guilty I am sure this is hard but she will thankyou for saving her and her baby. I dont know you but you sound like a very caring person and good friend please help her get out she will be one more woman that gets a chance at a good life and you will be her hero.

Answer 4

Maybe you could get some information on Battered Women. There is a Battered Women's Task Force in most cities. The sad thing is that unless she is ready to get out, there isn't much you can do. Try talking to her, but be aware that she may feel you are trying to interfere. You know you aren't and deep down she will realize you aren't...but a lot of women still feel that their friends and family are trying to interfere.
It may take something pretty serious to make her wake up...like getting hurt really bad. Or maybe the baby getting hurt. I hope that is not the case, but it seems most women have blinders on when it comes to men and being abusive.

Answer 5

A really good person would tell you tell your friend that you are her friend and you love her and her baby and you are and aways will be there for them and if at anytime she wants to leave her abusive boyfiend you will be there in what ever way she needs. A good person would secretly call the cops every time she sees abuse happen.

On the other hand you are talking to me. I would get the ABUSIVE boyfriend alone, take a REALLY BIG BAT, hit him in the knees a few times, with out breaking anything, and tell him the next time he hits this MOTHER OF HIS CHILD again you will put him SIX FEET UNDER. And that you dought anyone would miss him.

Answer 6

I have been a similiar situation as your friend...

Once I had my baby, my now ex-husband could not handle the fact that he was no longer number 1. He hated that I nursed our baby and that I was with her around the clock. It was a real wake up call for me because I never realized how much I catered to him until I no longer couldn't. I got hurt pretty bad, even went to the hospital with 2 broken ribs and a busted eyebrow. I never told anyone just out of fear. I wished that someone would have called the police for me.

When you hear it call the police. Tell the police you want to keep it annonomous so that your friend doesn't ever have to know that it was you that called. That way, you are protecting her, possibly even saving her life, and keeping your friendship in tact at the same time. CALL the POLICE! It is a matter of life or death because it only gets worse as time goes on.

Good Luck and Blessings to your friend.

Answer 7

its extrememly inportant that you do try to do something or tell hte athorities and its reported. Because what if he ends up hhitting the baby. Do you know what an adult hitting a baby will do? I know it will be hard but telling is the only solution to this problem. You know everyday of her life she lives in nothing but fear for her babies life and her own. That would be a blessing to her to not have to woory about someone coming home and beating her and possibly beating her child or even worse to the both of them. Please do the right thing. That baby deserves to have a save home, family and environment. It souldnt have to suffer any longer than it has already.

Answer 8

Try talking to your neighbor once more and make it clear to her that the next time you see the abuse happen, you will not hesitate to call the police. If this creep is abusing your friend, it is just a matter of time before he starts messing with the child. The right thing isn't always the easiest thing to do.........but remember, it IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!

Answer 9

Well sounds like she needs to get some things straight in her life, and maybe she should begin by getting rid of the idiot. Think of what kind of life the kid will have when it grows up? I would try calling her parents first. If not then maybe the police, but to know its going on and do nothing I don't think is the best possible situation here...

Answer 10

look. let me approach the question a different way. the majority of answers would be for her to leave him, but honestly, its easier said than done. there is a reason to hit anyone. male or female. ive been in an abusive relationship and i would say that i loved him and didnt want to leave him but he was beating my butt. some men are very controlling, but some are provoked. is she getting all in his face? cursing him out? is she hitting him first? or is she innocent? the only thing you can do is try to talk to her about it and try to figure out why this is happening, or you could mind your business. even though its illegal to hit women, men still do. hey, drugs are illegal, but look how rampant it is. you, as a friend can only do so much. try to tell her shes strong and ask her if she wants her child to be in that kind of drama.if she resists you, leave it alone. you cant make no one do anything.

Answer 11

i would not do anything to cause any problems between you and your friend, i would just note in a book or something about what is going on with your friend and her boyfriend, in case something may happen and you can help. you are not wrong for caring about your friend. If it was up to me any guy that hits a female should get the crap beat out of them. it doesnt prove anything that you can hit your girlfriend, it doesnt make you more of a man.