My ex-husband is giving me a hard time. We have been divorced for about 2 months now and prior to being divorced I made a joke about still being together physically even if we got divorced. Needless to say we have been intimate since then but thats as far as it goes. He has played with my head a few times saying that he wanted more but then nothing comes of it. I kicked him out in March for cheating on me again. He was a scumbag being both emotionally and physically abusive as well as cheating on me numerous times. I found out recently that he is seeing someone and I cant be the other woman considering how much it devastated me. I mean I could care less about this other woman but I just cant do it to myself to be the other woman. He is giving me a hard time now that I have gone against 'our agreement' which like i said was a joke in the 1st place. He is really getting to me and I dont know what to do. Any advice or past experiences with sit. similiar to this are welcomed. thx:)
2006-11-05 14:27:24 · 11 answers · asked by serenity113001 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thank you and i know...that is yet another reason that I want to end this and end it now. I have feelings and why I dont know perhaps bc im naive and stupid...he treated me bad and ive still been allowing him to do so. Its hard to stop this but I know I am better off without him. It can just be very difficult to let go esp when hes still trying to bring me down. I just dont know how to keep him from getting under my skin...and from just getting the best of me when im trying so hard to finally let go and move on.
2006-11-05 14:33:28 · update #1
we have a 3 yr old daughter together...
2006-11-05 14:35:36 · update #2
and yes it was said as a joke and yes i did follow through but my point was that that he giving me a hard time for holding up to something that was never really an arrangment...despite whether or not something happnened i shouldnt have to be harrassed bc i choose not to sleep with him nemore esp considering that he is with someone else.
2006-11-05 14:38:16 · update #3
you can never move on if your still in a relationship with him,we will always have feeling's for the man we loved, but to keep seeing them isn't helping us to move on at all. just don't see him anymore, no matter who he is with he will always cheat on somebody. he is an ex because there were problems, what do u expect to gain from this. is it ever going anywhere, how will it serve you to keep seeing him, will there ever be anything in it for you, but misery and heartache. just refuse to let him in,u might have had a past with him, but theres no future, you already know what he is and what happened in the past, now do u really want to be the other woman, or do u want a new life, with a man who doesn't cheat and abuse. good luck, i know what your going through, it happened to me years ago, my ex kept showing up, and cheating with me on the same woman who broke us up. never accomplished a thing. just be happy your divorced and can move on to greener pastures.
2006-11-05 14:44:54 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like there is something you want from him that you haven't gotten yet. My guy has a way of doing this to me, so I kinda recognized it in your words. He has a way of keeping me wanting, keeping me waiting for something, I'm not sure exactly what it is but - he gets away with murder with me because there is something dangling just out of my reach and he knows it - the bastard.
If knowing that your guy cheated didn't slam the door on the closure you need to end this relationship, he has a hold on you in some way that you can't shake. Find out what the hold is and try to shake it loose. Convince yourself you don't need whatever it is and it will be a lot easier to set him free - and free yourself of this circular game. Good luck - I hope you can do it, I really do!
2006-11-05 23:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you must be feeling very emotional at the moment but getting into bed with the man who did not honour you whist you were married is only going to hold you back from yourself even more. If you are finding it hard to sort this out in your mind i would recommend counselling. I dont know why it works maybe it is just the right atmoshere to freely discuse emotions and all, but it really does help. do go back. you have your whole life ahead of you that is full of potential.
2006-11-05 22:41:50 · answer #3 · answered by alilovespete 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You never mentioned if you had kids with him, well if you dont, its relativly simple. Just dont talk to him, not on the phone, in person, on the net, by mail, nada. In time he will get the hint, and in the mean time you should be thinking of why he's an ex.
2006-11-05 22:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by cribmaster_mn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this man abused you in so many ways, AND you must have divorced him for many good reasons, why do you want anything with him?? he doesn't care for you, and if he's sleeping around with other women, who know if he has caught an STD? Please honor yourself and tell this **** head to be gone from your life. You can find a better man. (Just my opinion..good luck).
2006-11-05 22:33:07 · answer #5 · answered by brandon's mommy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut all ties with him, be nice when you see him out but that is as far as it goes. Get a box of tissues to wipe your eyes, and go through the pain and be done with him. Lesson learned.
2006-11-05 22:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by bigslick60 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you( you probably know by now sex is never a joke! How did you let him play with your head like that?
It sounds like you are coming to your senses now so hopefully you will continue to realize he is a cheating scum bag! Promise yourself you will never belittle yourself that much again! Never have sex with him again.
2006-11-05 22:44:55 · answer #7 · answered by ruthie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit being physically with him and find your self some one else and don't let him buy guilt trips on you. You have standup to him sooner or later and it should be now.
2006-11-05 22:35:03 · answer #8 · answered by fonda b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you don't want to be the other woman. If you still have any feelings for him, sleeping with him will only make it harder to move on.
2006-11-05 22:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by Angel2 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If it was only said as a joke.....why did you follow through with it?
Sounds to me like you still have feelings for him.
Move on.......
2006-11-05 22:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋