What's wrong with me?

Question

Sorry if this is a little long. Here's some background info in case it proves to be relevant. I've seen a psychiatrist since I was younger, and only felt that I needed to be there when I hit 16. I became severely depressed and would have panic attacks when I felt that things were spiraling out of my control. I would hold in my anger/frustration until I couldn't take it anymore.

It's been 4 years since the worst of my attacks or feeling that way. I don't see my psychiatrist anymore.

Lately, though whenever I leave the house, I feel so insecure and sad. I feel as though everyone is staring at me, and that when I try to be friendly towards people, it's not reciprocated. I can't really explain it, it's just a feeling that not many people like me, and I know this shouldn't matter because it's usually just looks from strangers on the street that leave me feeling this way. I already know I'm insecure and painfully shy, I just don't want to feel this way anymore. Advice or thoughts?

Answer 1

nothing's wrong with you. no more than is wrong with anyone else anyway. in fact it's probably more them than you. like if you smile at someone and they don't reciprocate. that's not ur f***ing fault, is it. so just forget them. I don't smile or look at strangers on the street anymore, it's really not worth it. stop wasting energy on people who don't give any back.

Answer 2

I feel that way too sometimes. I've learned that for me, 95% of the people I meet will never be my friend or close to me. 5% will be VERY close. And, I've realized that this 5% are the only people I want to spend time with. In the first 3 mins of meeting someone, I can tell immediately that:

A. There is an instant connection and we'll be laughing with each other every time we talk. It's the kind of connection where we are almost psychic cuz we think exactly the same. (1% of the people I meet)

B. I think they are nice and over time we get to know each other's personality and we will get along very well. For example, if we both worked together on a project and are forced to spend time - we find out the other person is actually more than "nice". (4% of the people I meet).

C. The rest of the 95% are people who I am polite to. I'm always friendly, always nice, but if I see these people in the mall I would not go up to them and say "Hi" unless they also saw me too and I cannot avoid it cuz it would be rude. It does not matter how much time we spend together, even if we worked side by side for YEARS, we will always be "polite". Not friends. When I do try to spend time with these people I always go home feeling exhausted from trying to pretend like I'm comfortable.

So to recap... I do not feel comfortable with most people I meet. This does make me feel lonely and isolated sometimes, especially at work when I see everyone else talking, lunching, joking around but not with me. I feel like there is something wrong with me cuz I can't connect with everybody, but then I meet that 1% and I can totally be myself, we mesh without any effort at all... and I know that it's not worth the aggivation of trying to blend with a group I don't belong with.

So don't worry, It's not you... you just haven't found your 1% yet. But don't worry about what the 95% think of you... Like me, I'm sure they think you are a nice, quiet, sweet person.

Answer 3

See a medical doctor. You sound like you are depressed, and believe it or not, there are actually medicinal chemistry tests for depression.

Did you psychiatrist prescribe anything for you or use "talk therapy" as a treatment. If you were "medicated", going off of the medications may have returned the symptoms, although the effect would most likely be delayed. It took years for an imbalance to start, and it might take years for it to return.

Insecurity and shyness is something called introversion. That is normal, but the feeling that nobody likes you, that sounds a lot more like depression.


Ken

Answer 4

CONSIDER THIS First stept tell that psychiatrist they are doing shitty job! If you do not have a better sellf-concept think many will agree. Without knowing reason for initial referral must walk very tenderly. Next tell them exactly what you just told the world, and ask for specific techniques to help yourself. There is tons of stuff, there is other stuff that could be said, but don't have skills on rebound reactions that's why you need to become more assertive in asking them for concrete help.

Answer 5

If you've ever had severe depression, which is a serotonin imbalance, you will have a tendency to recurrence throughout your life. This is not to say that you should just run to a doctor and stay on the meds, although perhaps there will be times when medication is useful for you, or herbs (which are meds themselves). But it is to let you know that this is who you are in this life right now, this is the body you were given, and you must deal with it on its own terms. Play the cards you're dealt, as it were.

The Youtube link isn't bad, but it's only a piece. I have chronic depression (basically lifelong) and I manage it by seeking deeper meaning, in addition to some herbal supplement support, and very, very healthy living. I am a happy person now, and feel meaning going forward in my life. Things that have helped me are Transcendental Meditation (www.tm.org), Network Spinal Analysis (www.donaldepstein.com), yoga, ayurvedic medicine, and my spiritual life in general. If you do not give in to the despair that can accompany depression, and you persevere, I believe you will find your way also.

When you speak of people not liking you, I understand this well. People who are depressed hold too much tension in themselves. They aren't efficient at releasing it, so it goes inside, and becomes part of their next experience. They eminate tension, and this pushes people away. You probably do not want to do this. Both meditation and Network Spinal Analysis are high-level tension reducers, and have helped me become more likeable. (for what it's worth, I have no idea why I am this way, but I believe it is probably my karma, meaning that I caused much pain to others in past lives, so in this one I was unable to convey my loving feelings to others, so they reject me. There is no need for me to feel guilty about this state of affairs, however. Karma is it's own punishment/reward. It is simply my job to deal with the situation, heal it, and myself, nonjudgmentally. We are all worthy souls. Plus, our creator wants only joy for everyone, so supports working through the lessons of karma in order to create greater joy for all. Which is what becoming a happier, more loving person would accomplish.)

Good luck. If you can't afford TM try THE RELAXATION RESPONSE by Herbert Benson.

Answer 6

Unfortunately this has become a pretty uncomfortable world for alot of people. First of all, know one thing, you are not alone, there is help and recovery is possible. I noticed that when you mentioned psychiatrist it was singular, my advice would be that you seek about a new doctor and try a fresh approach to you problem. It is encouraging that you freely discuss it!! Best of Luck to you and I hope you feel better soon!!

Answer 7

I suppose you are a bit high strung and people don;t always react well to that. Don't focus on pleasing people, but focus on doing things to serve people. Be helpful, volunteer, and focus on your work...the love and respect from others will come...and you'll fel better about yourself.

Make some cookies for a neighbor and just take them over to say hello...no other reason. DOn;t analyze yourself, just learn to enjoy life through service and goodwill...you'll feel better

Answer 8

Learn to not get worried about everything, just live one day at a time.
Try and talk to people you don't even know. Do some good physical activity to releive stress. If people don't respond to you then find someone who does.

Answer 9

it sounds like you have social anxiety, it is not really understood by doctors but they do have a pill for it or you could go to a psyhcologist and talk to him

Answer 10

I am sure this will help change your Life
http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/downloads/self_improvement/overcoming_shyness.html?1596!y-shyness