Mother-n-law from hell?

Question

I am a newlywed and I always thought that my husbands mother and myself had a very good relationship.Before I met my husband, I had a personals account that I hadnt been on in over a year and is automatically taken out of my credit card,which I obviously did not pay attention to or I would have cancelled it.I live in an extremely small town so everyone knows everyone.Well, last week, my n-law called my husband and told him that there was a man in a nearby town that was thinking about asking me out because he had been talking to me via the internet on my personals account. This man, didnt know my name, but new what my career was and in what city I lived in and how many kids I had...this is all of the evidence that she had of this...now here is the funny part. we were in such a serious relationship via the internet..but he didnt know my name! I explained all of this to my hubby that it is easy to find out anything in small towns. Now his mother thinks im a cheater.

My hubby believes me, and this guy didnt have any emails to prove it! he could have easily gotten this info from anyone even on some of my 360. I showed this account to my hubby and he saw for himself that there hadnt been any activity and his mom still doesnt believe it. She told my husband that he is in denial! He is so mad at his mom and I am extremely hurt. I got rid of the account,so i couldnt get blamed for anything. now what?

this town that i live in is so small, that i am the only one that fit the info.....RN, mother of two.....so, on. A friend of my mothernlaw told her about this girl he wanted to ask out....and it happened to be me!

Answer 1

I wouldnt worry about it if I where you althought it might make you furious let her think what she wants it's that type of gossip that might fill her less than fulfilling days so in fact your doing the old lady a favour by giving her something to do, Just as long as you and your hubby are straight in understanding the situation then every thing is cool cause at the end of the day he is your real family,under your roof in your bed is what matters the most of what is though of you.

Answer 2

While you would think common sense would tell her that his not knowing your name would indicate that you weren't actually in a relationship with him, I guess I can kind of understand how "protective" reflexes kick in --- the real test would come if, since you felt you had a good relationship with her before, you went to her and explained what happened and then see how she reacts. If it's too awkward, do it by email.
One word of advice--I'd try to keep it very light, though. You don't have to defend yourself over something you didn't even do. To keep your family life pleasant, it would be nice to explain the situation, but the bottom line is you didn't do anything wrong, so don't apologise or defend, etc. Simply open up with "oh dear! I *completely* forgot about an automated singles list I was on and got the shock of my life when I found out some people in town thought I was dating someone else! How ridiculous is that? Brides should make sure they put it on their to-do list: remove name from singles lists!"

Answer 3

You need to stop being defensive with her at once. She sounds like once she thinks she has your cornered, you are fair game and won't give up. Confront her and ask her why on earth she would say or think such a thing! And in the future, if she has any questions in regard to your past, please ask you first. Let her know how much you love your husband and that being a total family (including her) is important to you. She may be feeling slighted for some reason and this is her way to gain attention - even if it is negative attention.

Answer 4

I am really saddened to hear about the situation but believe me, she is not from hell and you must try to see things from her point of view. She is trying to protect her son from a heartbreak of her mind and not necessarily the truth.
What can you do? Very little more. You have done the best you can do that is to tell your husband the truth. He now realize that theree is nothing being hidden. Now the rest is with him. He will have to find a way to tell his mother to get off. only he can do that. He will have to tell his mother to leave you alone and until he does that, you may regret your marriage. The next best thing is to leave ther community an d live somewhere else. Good luck.

Answer 5

If your husband thinks you are a cheater because of his mother say so than I would think he knows his mothers shady caricature and he might want to question that. Maybe he is a Mommy's boy? I know no one can talk smack about my mother in law even thoe she has been shady we just have to deal with it. Over time you will have more control over your mother in laws opinions. I wish I could have been closer with mine as well but when they are like that stay as far away as possible.

Answer 6

mother in law needs to mind her own business.

Let this be a reminder to all that the internet can cause all sorts of problems.

It is your husbands job to deal with his mother and tell her to BACK OFF. She can choose to be in your life and respect boundries or she can choose to alienate you and wreck a marriage for her son.

And small towns....get over it. Stop being so nosey.

Answer 7

First off she needs to mind her own business. Second if you haven't you need to cancel the account on the personals sight. Third your husband should trust you and give you the benefit of the doubt.

Answer 8

You have done what any reasonable daughter-in-law had done..........i.e. discussed openly with honesty with your husband & even showed him your accounts.

If your m-i-l is still stirring shxt......honey, just treat it as a blessing in disguise.

We know .......base on what you said.......u r innocent & u like to protect yours & your husband's reputation & keep the family from malicious harm from without.........this could also be a time when u could test the strength of character of your husband..........n the love & respect your husband for u!

Of coz......it will also reveal to u........at last........the care, love, friendship.......n respect....your m-i-l has for you too!

If your husband falls.........'dies' in his mother's arms with anguish & sorrow of your 'unfaithfulness'..........then just say Ciao! n move on!

Life is worth living whn one can keep his/her self respect & pride & honor without having to fire-fight every little rumour that some malicious person spreads!

Take care.....my dear....I understnd the evil of a small town!

Answer 9

Hey if they don't know it in a small town -they can make it up and fill in the blanks!!! Hopefully your husband know what his mother is up to and will be very understanding= so- I would try to ignore her crap-did you see the movie MOnster- inlaw?? cancel your personals acct- D

Answer 10

i'd confront her, ask her why she is spreading rumors approximately you like a intense college youngster. for sure, you went out of your thank you to help her and that's particularly hateful of her. in case you do no longer sense delicate, ask your husband to communicate to her. Odds are you will by no potential get alongside with the aid of fact some rather everyone seems to be in basic terms particularly hateful for their very own reasons, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it does no longer mean you would be able to desire to permit your self to be bullied. the subsequent time you hear a rumor approximately your self, tell your MIL the place you heard it and ask her why she would say that.