i know this girl form work and have been helping her to get things onto her computer. well she wants things but is vague about it so i tell her to come by and look on my computer for them. well shes set up 5 appointments and not shown up once and its always a different excuse. Today it was shes fighting with her ex and shes not feeling to social. so i call her and shes at her friends eating tacos (the food kind i hope). She gave me this crap about how she wants to be friends but after that i had it. i told her to lose my number.the question is why do I feel like crap for doing this?
2006-11-05 13:47:46 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You most probably feel like crap because you are a very nice guy. And you haven't had to be firm and assertive to anyone who has treated you so poorly. You did the right thing. This girls behavior was inconsiderate, rude, and immature. Her actions showed complete disregard for you as a person. You did the right thing. Don't give her another chance to treat you like garbage. If she tries to contact you ignore her. If she apologizes accept her apology but do not make yourself available to help her again. Her past behavior is an indicator of her future behavior. If she asks for your help,( when) she asks for your help tell her you're sorry but you're unavailable. She will always have some lame excuse for her behavior don't fall for it. You're a good guy if you let anyone ever treat you disrespectfully like she has. you're basically telling them: it's ok to treat you like crap. Let go of the guilt you stood up for yourself and acted assertively..BRAVO !
2006-11-05 13:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you were not graceful and you did it without style or a door or bridge back ( she was hot right?) So you can swallow your pride and build a bridge back. just take a Peace offering something you personally know she needs or wants and say you are sorry for being rude and you would like to be her friend...... Just remember do not be faithful to her or even play like you are going to be faithful to her and make no apology for seeing other women or hide it until she says she wants to be more then friends. So for a little present and a little crow for dinner you get a friendgirl and if she still wants to be friends only after a while you can take her out and other women will be more interested in you when you are with another woman. Like what does he have that she is interested in him verses loner loser single desperate guy. I know I am horrible
2006-11-05 22:07:46 · answer #2 · answered by sphericaluniverse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello freind, very good question sometimes we know the answers to our own questions but we feel good inside our heart and mind when we hear it from others it makes us feel normal and that we have a freind or suport next us.
Anyway lets answer the question, basically my freind deep in your heart you feel a loss, a loss of a flourishing friendship, a loss of a person of the oppisite sex and a loss of the act of giving which gives us happiness.
It is evident that she lives a busy life and doesnt know whether she is coming or going, why get involved with some one like that too much, give by all means set your limits why? because of this feeling you have is why, you dont need to have these unhealthy feelings.
But we feel guilty becasue deep really she has ignored and rejected your offers of help as a friend, your a great bloke mate helpful kind generous what great pesonalities you have, well done!!
NOW!!! give them to people who will apprecite them and who really need a freind like you, when you find people who will respect you and appreciate your kindness you will feel so much better and you will certainly NOT feel guilty anymore..!!
Goodluck friend move forward.
2006-11-05 22:04:44 · answer #3 · answered by David Cook 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your are experiencing an insecure moment. You don't need this girl. She is playing you, and she can get what she needs else where. Don't put yourself through the stop & go crap. She is insensive and not too worried about anybody but herself. You got more eggs in your basket than that I hope. Stand by what you told her and don't let her baby you out of it. Get a little back bone and ditch the gulit. You are right!
2006-11-05 22:12:45 · answer #4 · answered by Sage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You needed to let her know that you are not interested in being jerked around. You have much better things to do with your life than to be at her whim. No need to feel guiloty about that. But how did you do it? Were you unusually harsh. Being honest does not require being mean. If you were especially harsh, then if you want to be just a little guilty, that is ok, heh. Remember that for the next time.
Otherwise, don't worry about it! We all need to be careful about who we dedicate our time to.
2006-11-05 22:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by Rann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never let anyone make you feel bad about anything or take your joy away. If she was giving you trouble or causing you stress etc. then it was best, plus you don't need any fakes in your life they'll only bring you down and you need to move forward in life. And this person sounds like they have way to much drama in their life which isn't good to be around....forget about her..u don't owe her anything..
2006-11-05 21:58:54 · answer #6 · answered by QT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably, because in your heart, you know she used you. you thought she needed your help - but found out she was only playing with you. be glad she's not part of your life and found out what she is really like. don't despair. she wasn't worth it.
2006-11-05 21:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a very nice person. it's hard to turn your back on someone, but if you aren't being treated properly you really don't have a choice.
2006-11-05 21:51:20 · answer #8 · answered by Gabrielle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have feelings and she don't.
2006-11-05 21:52:42 · answer #9 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt feel guilty...its her lost
2006-11-05 22:36:31 · answer #10 · answered by Redd Hott 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋