one".We're planning our future together,marriage,kids,etc(we're in our mid 30's) We're both hardworking, responsible, intelligent professionals. We both have strong beliefs, morals, values&similar opinions on nearly everything.I know I'm uptight about some things. He told me recently he occassionally smokes pot (once every couple of months) I was upset/hurt/disappointd. He told me I need to lighten up&accept it as part of him. I don't know if its a dealbreaker or not.Ive never done any drugs& was brought up believing its wrong. I've been around drugs& had friends that used.It didn't bother me when, I was younger, but now that I HAVE a teenager I feel stronger about it. He'd tell my son &raise our kids not to do it,never let them know he did or have it around. He doesn't drink/drive, nor would he when smoking. Its just every now&then. I'm torn between the stigma of pot I was raised w/ (right or wrong),the fact it's only once in a great while& that maybe I need to loosen up. Suggestions?
2006-11-05 13:40:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You obviously do not like weed and don't agree with using it, but because someone you love smokes weed, you are trying to "bend the rules" and change things around to make it seem like it's not wrong, or that it's ok. You should never change your beliefs just to fit someone you love into them. Is this really and truly just a once a month thing? Or does he do it more than that? Weed makes people dumb and can really put your priorities out of whack. If you and him are both in your 30s...he should definately grow up and move on from this "teenage phase" of smoking weed. How do you feel about living a lie and hiding this from your friends and family? That's not fair to you or anyone involved. Your guy should seriously stop smoking before you guys settle down and tie the knot. I speak from experience. My boyfriend of four years is a pothead and I hate it.
J
2006-11-05 13:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the best way to deal with this is to see from his perspective and put yourself in his shoes. If he didn't like that you eat meat and was considering leaving you because of it, would it be real love? Would it be fair?
I think when it's true love, you love eachother for everything including the flaws and differences. You also appreciate and understand that nobody's perfect and you will continue to err, grow and learn til the day we die.
ON THE OTHER HAND
If you are living somewhere where pot smoking is legal, then he should have the freedom to do it... however if it is illegal in your country... it is illegal in your country and you have a point.
2006-11-05 13:52:42 · answer #2 · answered by lady from the other day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what feels right to you, but it doesn't sound like the guy is a pot head or anything. As long as he takes care of his financial and parental responsibilities I'd say that you should just tell him not to do it at home and forget about it.
2006-11-05 13:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by libra1079 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
any and all drugs are a deal breaker! doesn't matter how often or not often he does it. drugs are drugs and drugs are not to be done. you have a teenager. the teenager WILL figure it out. i don't care how well you or he THINKS he can hide it. and then, what are you going to say? "do as i say, not as i do?" yeah, that will go over really well. kids will do as their parents do, NOT as they say. so if you really want to run that risk - marry him. otherwise, i'd be telling him "bye bye." and if he loves you as much as he claims and if he smokes as rarely as he claims - it won't be a problem quitting it completely now will it?
2006-11-05 13:42:23 · answer #4 · answered by annie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
run away and don't look back, you are obviously incompatible, if pot was leagle it would be adifferent story, but what if he gets busted? he goes to jail loses his job, next thing you know SSI takes your kids away for being an unfit mother & usafe home
2006-11-05 13:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a clean guy. Doing drugs at all is just wrong.
2006-11-05 13:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by urashortie103092 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He could have worse situations, that this..Count your blessings..he's not a bad person because of this..It should be legal..Best of luck
2006-11-05 13:44:19 · answer #7 · answered by janet r 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No one is going to be perfect. Your choice is to accept it or find someone else. And someone elses "problem" could be way worse.
2006-11-05 13:42:55 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Dump the doper........he will only bring you down and destroy your life and family.
What if you have kids and he goes to prision?
2006-11-05 13:41:58 · answer #9 · answered by Eldude 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It'll be legal in "your" state soon, lighten up ya Prude!
2006-11-05 13:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by fantasticopinionsfree 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋