I found out in August (right before my 3yr wedding ann) that my husband had an affair (2months long) and the girl is prego and due this December. I want to know what someone else thinks (other than family). He wants to make things right and work things out with me. I just know what to do from here. We also have a 41/2 yr old little girl. What do you think?
2006-11-05 12:51:35 · 24 answers · asked by REBECCA C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow im sorry about this, but i think the best thing to do is to move on. dont go back to him he cheated! you cant forgive someone that does that. I think you should split the time with your daughter. the only thing that might make you hesitate is if you really love him and will forgive him for what he did. good luck. god bless you.
2006-11-05 12:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by sunnyvickygamegrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you feel is right no matter what any of us tell you. I'm sure you felt like leaving, but the way it sounds as if your still with him. All I can say is for better or worst, you think about it and if you can look your husband in the face and don't throw a brick at his head then maybe that's were you need to be. Don't let anyone pressure you into making that decision,cause you are the one that has to live with what ever choice you make. Also consider the fact that there is a child on the way and you will have to be a part of that child's life at some point and time. Good Luck Honey and God Bless you and your family
2006-11-05 13:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by This is just my opinion! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After getting really mad and screaming at him for awhile, I would ask him to sit down and talk rationally with you about what the both of you are going to do about this baby. Make sure the affair is OVER and that is the only one he has had. Make sure he understands that it will take you a looooooong time to trust him again and that you will want to know where he is at ALL times. If he asks how long this will have to go on, tell him until...... until you feel like you can trust him again, no matter how long it takes. He created this mess and must be willing to accept the consequences of his actions. Now, you have to decide if you will be willing to accept this child into your family, even though it isn't yours. Just remember it is not the childs fault, it is an innocent in all of this mess. Does your husband want to have anything to do with the child, such as joint custody or sole custody and also be willing to pay child support for this child too. That is his responsibilty to do that. Good luck and I hope your marriage survives all of this. Talk to your pastor and pray alot!
2006-11-05 13:09:46 · answer #3 · answered by Bren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoa. that's not good news. you've got some hard decisions to make here. has he been tested for any std's? you need to find that out quick. you don't want to catch something because he's been unfaithful.
caring for his 'love child' is going to cost you guys a fortune---if the girl goes after him for child support.
how serious is he about 'making things right'? is he just saying this to keep you from kicking his butt out?
how do you feel about it? you are the wronged party here. can you forgive him?
I am a man. I've never been unfaithful to my wife. i would never do that to her. i love her more than anything. we have our ups and downs but that's to be expected. what i'm saying here is that any excuse he gives for this behavior is bogus. I'm a man and am tempted--but I've never yielded to that temptation.
for the life of me i can't see how a man could do this to his wife, much less his little girl! i have five kids--four girls and a boy, and i would never do ANYTHING to hurt them.
have you asked him why he did this? you need to find out. don't buy into any excuses. i feel that the only thing he can say that will help is "i'm sorry, i screwed up".
at the very least you and he have some tough times ahead. i would make a condition of staying married to him that you both see a marriage counselor. if he doesn't see any point in that, tell him to take a hike.
best of luck to you and your daughter. you are in my prayers.
2006-11-05 13:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you can see from my previous question, I know what you are going through. Most people will tell you to leave him, which is the smartest and best thing to do. Although, its harder to do when you are in the situation. Beware though all the talk about working things out could be true. It can also just be setting you up to think nothing is going on with them anymore but maybe it is. It is a very bad situation all the way around.
2006-11-05 13:30:45 · answer #5 · answered by Angel2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this has to be a heart wrenching decision. But you have to go with what you feel is best for you and your little girl. Do you think the relationship is strong enough to make it through with marriage counciliing? I do not agree with the statement of once a cheater always a cheater. I cheated once on my husband and he forgave me. I can say that I would never do it again no matter what.
2006-11-05 13:13:30 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Mary ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear that men can be just evil
its really upto u hun but i would ditch the 2 timing git
that isso unfair and if u dont and u stay wiv him what stops him from doing it again?
men say they wont do it again and say that they'll change but its not true they'll just keep screwing up and the thing u have to think about is
what is a relationship/marriage all about?
honest, truthfull, caring, sticking by u no matter what, being loyal.
hunny its upto u but if u stay wiv him u'll keep on thinking when evr he's out about what he's upto? and if he's gonna cheat again? and there shouldnt be a relationship like that ifthere isno trust then there's no relationship
think about it
but its upto u how u want to live
take care
2006-11-05 12:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by Katie P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Don't bother putting effort into trusting him after something like this, because you'll never trust him again. If he did it once, chances are that he would do it again. By taking him back you would only show him that there aren't any severe consequences for his actions, and he really has nothing to lose by doing it again. Be strong, and get over him. You deserve better, and eventually you will meet someone who will treat you like a queen. Good luck.
2006-11-05 21:23:55 · answer #8 · answered by Das 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This must have come as a shock! Especially when you have been trying to get pregnant during the time he was bopping the other woman. First things first, get back on the birth control. I don't see anyway that he can make things "right". (I wonder if he was checking out his equipment to see if it was working, and that is how she got prego?)
2006-11-05 13:09:03 · answer #9 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a person to have an affair, consider what takes place: He/she must expose their nakedness to another and give away what belongs to another. For your husband to do this more than once is degrading to himself and you.
If your husband lacked the respect for you to fornicate over and over and get another woman pregnant, do you think he will do it again? Do you want your child raised in this type of environment?
I am so sorry for what he did. Whatever decision you make, I hope the best for you and your little girl.
2006-11-05 13:20:01 · answer #10 · answered by TenJac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋