Ok, he is 17. He has had 2 female partners and 2 males partners. He has had termoil with both. But he believes that he has been gay for so long he doesn't know how to act straight. He doesn't want to deal with the troubles of being gay but is attracted to men, yet he still misses the things that women do. He states that he "misses the balance." He also asked if bi-sexual is a real sexuality, I told him that i believe it is and his response was "I thought it was just a phase."
I am at a loss. I don't know what to tell this poor kid. He is so confused and he wants to just crawl in a hole. Is there anyone out there that can help me with this, please.
2006-11-05 12:36:22 · 8 answers · asked by Dr. Donna (lol) 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You can have turmoil in any relationship, and it is not based on the person's sex but on their personality. As far as acting straight, I am often called straight acting but I am not, I am only acting as myself; this is just a label. In society, it is more difficult to be gay, but if you are attracted to the same sex it is not a switch that can be turned off. I believe that bisexuality is a valid sexuality; some people like vanilla milkshakes, some people like chocolate milkshakes, and some people like all milkshakes, but many who like both usually have a preference for one over the other. He is confused because he feels he has to make the choice to be labeled as straight or be labeled as gay and face discrimination; and to add to this is the stresses that the previous relationships involved.
The only thing to tell him is to think of it like this, gay is only a word that means a man attracted to another man. This attraction, however, is a very important part of who one is. You say he is attracted to men, but only say he misses the things that women do. If he is not truly attracted to women also, he is gay. He needs to accept himself for who he is and concentrate instead on finding someone that he can love who will love him back without any turmoil.
2006-11-05 12:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that the 17 year old has had way too many relationships for his age already. He is only a teenager how is he supposed to know, sounds like he has been violated especially if the males were over 19 or 20 that is called child molestation, if he was experimenting with children his own age this is a different matter. But really I find it difficult to believe that he has had that many partners already, maybe he should try celibacy until he is unconfused about the whole thing.
Why is it your job to tell this kid anything, unless you are one of the perpetrators yourself, if you are this child's parent you should have more sense than agree with this sort of lifestyle especially in this day and age and should have kept him busy with other extra curricular activities and explain to him there is more to life than sex and not to do or commit to any lifestyle until he is mature enough to make a grown up decision. No wonder the world is in such a bad place.
A good motto would be if you have to question if it is out of the "norm" it usually is, and you are encouraging his behavior by informing him that being bi is ok, he is a child and should not have to make these decisions yet, he should be enjoying his teenage years not pondering adult misinformation.
2006-11-05 20:47:08 · answer #2 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's a HUGE difference between being bi and being confused. Bisexually is totally real and totally amazing! Tell him not to worry about gender. Just focus of finding someone he's compatible with. Guy or girl. He'll be a lot happier that way. Gender should not be a guidline! And bisexuality has no guidlines! Tell him he's blessed to be one of those people who finds something to love in both genders!
2006-11-05 21:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by WhitneyR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a bisexual I can safely say that it is most definately a legitimate sexuality. Tell him to do what makes him happy. I personally don't descriminate on a persons sex and date them based on how I feel about the person, not the sex.
2006-11-05 20:50:36 · answer #4 · answered by Rageling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only one person can help him and that is him. He is going to have to get his head screwed on straight, stop acting stupid and grow up. Sounds like he is grossly lacking in maturity.
Counseling might help.
Good luck. Pops
2006-11-05 20:40:05 · answer #5 · answered by Pops 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him to be himself. He doesn't need to class himself one way or another. It sounds like he needs time to experiment without having to put himself into a 'class'. I would tell him to enjoy whatever he does and in time he will work it out.
2006-11-05 21:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by gretphemelger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like there really is no way to help him... tell him to just follow his heart and let life run it's course. only time will figure this out.
2006-11-05 21:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by Woofa's Mum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him to be himself, and not label himself as anything. Tell him he should be with whoever he wants to be with. Past is past, its just that. If he likes a guy... let him be with that guy, if he likes a girl.. let him be with that girl.
Just let him take life one step at a time.
2006-11-05 20:39:25 · answer #8 · answered by Sammy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋