I posted a question earlier and loved the responses that I recieved, to those that replied, thank you very much, and Im just reposting for those just joining us.
- My girlfriend and I live in Michigan and next week we are going to pick up our best friend from Florida. She has just recently decided to finally get out of her horribly abusive *emotionally* relationship with her girlfriend of a year and a half... and wants to start a new life here. We have opened our home to her, and we care about her very much. I just have a little bit of worry about her getting lonely or something like that...
She says she is very excited to come here and to start over.
She means the world to us and we hold her very close to our heart.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to make her feel more at home or more comfortable here??
2006-11-05 12:31:41 · 4 answers · asked by llsoinlovell 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Basically make sure she has her own space but at the same time make sure you guys are there no matter what. I am certainly glad she is out of that relationship. That is no relationship to be in.
It's going to be quite the move for her - both geographically, emotionally and mentally.maybe give her some time and when she is ready take her out to meet people around the local area. Being able to wave to someone on the street can help you feel at home.
I'm sure you'll be able to tell when she is feeling lonely - you appear to be very good friends. Remember to always be there for a cuddle but at the same time give her some space.
Make sure she has all the accommodation of a home to herself such as own bedroom etc. Maybe even help her put some things up around the house. If she can identify with something that is hers it is always comforting.
2006-11-05 13:24:25 · answer #1 · answered by gretphemelger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully she will have her own room in the house, her own space for her own things, a place where she can go to be alone when she wants to. She may have some things she'd like to put around the house too, and that will likely help her to feel connected with the two of you. Invite her to join you and your girlfriend when you go somewhere etc., ask if there's something she'd like to do, somewhere she'd like to go. Include her with your friends if she'd like to meet them. At the same time, understand if she'd like to have some down-time, to do nothing at all for awhile if she wants. She's been thru an awful experience, she may not be ready to leap back into life yet. It's different for everyone, it may take her 6 months or so to feel entirely ready to get back into the swing of things. She may need for you to help her balance that out. She may need to talk with someone, a therapist to help her heal. She may need to be with the two of you for awhile, and then find her own place nearby, or she may need to stay on with you for longer or indefinitely.
I suppose talking with her about what she wants to do, wants and needs from you and your girlfriend, from life etc would help. She may not know what she wants or needs for awhile tho, get ready to be patient. She may or may not want to talk about what happened to her. Listen and let her talk it out when and if she's ready, and let her know that you are available to listen when she's ready to talk.
Maybe split up the chores in your home so that she is included in them, that will help her feel needed and give her something to do too.
Above all..... Have some quality, private time just for you and your girlfriend, seperate from your friend. While you want her to feel included, you won't want to jeopardize your own relationship. And to be as supportive as you can, you'll need your own personal time for just yourself too. Keep the lines of communication going between all of you, so there's no misunderstandings. If you ever see red flags, deal with that immediately. Especially between you and your own partner first. Three women living together can be trying at best. Been there done that, so I do know. lol.....
Myst
2006-11-05 13:18:50 · answer #2 · answered by Myst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure she has her own room and/or her own "space" in the house. Hang out with her and go to clubs, etc... to meet girls, but also give her her own free space
2006-11-05 12:36:49 · answer #3 · answered by Sammy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give her her space, dont control her or watch her move so she could feel that you trust her and dont mind with her present
2006-11-05 14:28:54 · answer #4 · answered by classy naima 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋