how do you know when, if ever, to "discipline" an autistic child?

Question

do the same "little things" that would matter with the "typical child" really matter?
im pretty sure they dont, but what do you think?

Answer 1

i think you know. i always thought behavior modification through positive reinforcement was much better than discipline.

Answer 2

The autism spectrum can include anything from a totally non-verbal child that rocks all the way to a socially inept kid who relates better to the computer than to people. With that kind of variation, obviously the method of diciple, if any, would vary as well. (some suspect Bill Gates is high-functioning autistic)

Rule of thumb, if the child is on a two year old level, discipline somewhat like you would a two year old. (That is where my niece is, approx) Basically, make sure the child understands what he is being disciplined for. You wouldn't discipline a 6 month old, would you?

But discipline will be diffferent because autistic kids tend to care about very different things than non-autistic kids. And, you're right. Many things you would be disciplining a "normal" child for, you won't bother with an autistic child.

Email me if you'd like.

Answer 3

I have a mildly autistic 3 year old who requires discipline. Since he was diagnosed, in order to get him to try to use words for his requests, we've been in a cycle of giving him whatever he can find the words to ask for. We have to do this for his development, but this is not always good for discipline purposes, or to just raise a good child. Now he is learning how to manipulate this. It sounds crazy, but children learn manipulation techniques as infants.
I think all children require discipline, but the type of discipline, as with typical children, depends on your child. We limit our son's discipline to time when it can be immediate. If we can't scold him immediately, we wait until the next opportunity because he doesn't understand that he is in trouble for something that happened 5 minutes ago.
Also, discipline for us means making him do something that is not pleasant, like time out. He hates that worse than the threat of a spanking. I think you'll have to evaluate how much your child understands and what will make your child not want to repeat that behavior.

Answer 4

As the mother of a 10 yr. old son with moderate autism, it is very true you have to learn to pick your battles! That being said, you also have to choose how to fight them.

Succesful discipline of an autistic child is something that takes a lot of time and is measured in baby steps. Most of the time, any attempts will be met with an escalation in anger...louder screaming, the possibility of phyiscal aggression or property damage. So we have to chose carefully when to hold tight ...and then hold on for dear life.

The thing is, a lot of the smaller issues we discipline our "normal" children over are not always part of an autistic child's world. Most autistic children prefer to know where their possessions are, so tend to keep things picked up and organized within their own space. They tend to be particular over clothing, so it is unlikely they would "borrow" something from someone else. Lying is a concept that most autistic children don't understand since they can't understand the social clues others give off that lead most of us into lying on occassion (to stayout of trouble, to avoid hurting someone's feelings, etc.).

Sibling rivlary does take on a new dimension, since many autistic children do not want to or have any interest in sharing. WHile all families with more than one child experience the "Mom, he won't give me a turn with XYZ" with an autistic child it does become an even bigger battle. How do you ask a child to share when he has no concept of wanting to make another person happy? Certainly, this awareness is something we work towards and we want our children to be able to socially interact to the best of thier abilities, so we dig in for a battle over who gets the Happy Meal toy next. This is a battle we fight..and often wonder why when we are in the middle of it. But then, at other times we know we cant force it. And we wonder why we don't, but the truth is we know that at that point, a battle over sharing the red car will do more damage than good.

The best advice I can give is to follow your heart and your head. Know when it is time to ask your child to tow the line and know when it is best to simp;ly let him be. We call those moments "autism flare ups". We let our son pull back, set up his boundries and recharge so we can all be ready for the next battle. Know that some little things can matter as much as the big things...and that some days even the big things will be pretty unimportant.

There was a day when my son was angry at everyone and everything. He was only just becoming verbal and a lot of what he said was not what you would write home about! So we were torn between trying to discipline him for his off color language...and being ecstatic that he put four words together in a sentence to tell me to go away. AT that point, we chose to celebrate the syntax and let the word choice go. There will be plenty of other chances to try and get him to stop using four letter words in inventive combinations, but there will only be one first sentence. Battle waited for another day.

Answer 5

An autistic child needs special care provided by professional help. There are many care centers in US that deal specifically with everyday matters involving autistic children. Talk to a behaviorist psychologist and he/she will be able to answer that question according to the age and the child's social environment.

Answer 6

It's difficult to try ----to discipline an autistic child. Especially one with limited speech.

My 3 yr. old son doesn't get discipline the same as his 5 yr. old brother. I try to be as fair as possible.

I use time out-- which work some of the time. For his aggression behavior------we have recently put him on Risperdal-----which seems to be helping him.

Try behavioral therapy.

Answer 7

There are times when it will be necessary to discipline an autistic child, but you really need to learn about the child first. You have to determine what he can and cannot control. You also need to know what motivates him to display poor/inappropriate behavior. the question is quite tricky because there are so many types of disabilities in the autism spectrum. You also have to remember that some people have very mild autism, while others are severely autistic.
Also, you may want to address different behaviors differently. For example, if child is doing something that places him in danger, or places another person in danger, then you would need to be aggressive with your behavior modification. In other situations, you may want to use other types of behavior modification.
I teach special education students, and I understand that while autistic kids have very special needs, they also have alot of the same behavior issues as 'regular' kids. For example, they may hate to do homework, hate to do classwork, etc, just like other kids. And the reasons are basically the same. They would rather do something that is more fun! They sometimes like to just goof off, like 'regular' kids. I just cannot stress that what is most important is to just find out what makes this kid tick. I have a kid I teach who has asperger's syndrome. When he thinks someone is picking on him, he huffs, puffs, stomps, sticks his lips out, grunts, etc. And he is 11 years old. In this case, I let both kids know that they are behaving inappropriately. My kid who has AS is able to control his behavior, and he is expected to. Also, the kid who is messing with him is expected to behave, as well. Since he is 11 and knows better, I don't coddle him very much. I tell him that if he is going to "put on a show" the way he does, he can expect other people to mess with him. (Not that it is the right thing to do, it isn't. But human nature being what it is, people will mess with him if he is going to act silly and such. Expecially when they are sitting in class and they are bored and want to stir things up....) Please know that I WOULD NOT be tough with him like this if I thought he couldn't control his behavior. But since he can, he needs to control his behavior just like the other kid needs to control his.
Also, I used to have trouble figuring out if a kid 'knew better' than to do something. Notice when a child does something that is 'poor behavior.' Does he do it when you are looking at him or does he wait until you turn your back? Chances are, if the kid waits until your back is turned, he does, indeed, 'know better.'
I just cannot stress enough that every kid is different and should be treated as such. But yes, I do think there are times when most autistic children may need to be disciplined.

Answer 8

I hav diciplined my autistic child, but first you need to make sure they can process and make the connection between action and consequence. Some things stem from the disability itself. These behaviors need to be worked on, but not always consequenced. It depends on the situation. Pick your battles: safety issues first, then social concerns.

Answer 9

It dont matter to me either evryone is the same but just dont have the same personality.

Answer 10

Annies answer is exactly correct so I won't post mine.