Why is it that my husband feels he needs to do EVERYTHING for his sister? She'll call him several times a day to come over to do things for her (i.e. light the pilot light on the stove, run her places, help watch her kids for her, have to change a light bulb, fix the clogged up sink, and the list goes on). Her own husband doesn't help with these things when he's around. We usually have her kids when they're fighting, which I don't mind during those times so that the kids aren't there while that's happening - their fighting can get pretty ugly. He's in jail now and is always in and out due to this. However, my husband doesn't go to work, won't help much around the house, won't fix things here and is always at her place. We argue ourselves, but it's usually over all of this. How can I get him to understand he's married and me and our kids need these things from him as well. I feel that my husband takes on more responsibilities as a husband with his sister than our own family.
2006-11-05 12:02:21 · 6 answers · asked by Jynxed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Mind you his sister has her own car and chooses to live her life this way with her own husband and own issues. But it never fails that she always depends on my husband for things. Her problems are causing problems between us and my husband seems to not see it that way. I've talked to him many times about how this bothers me and have given him hints as well as telling him flat out what he could do, but it's the same thing all the time. I've told him that it doesn't seem as though he respects me anymore or our kids and that no matter what I try to say or do doesn't seem to matter to him. Please help! Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
2006-11-05 12:07:50 · update #1
If you come up with an answer for this question, please let me know. My husband's sister plays the helpless disabled victim so much that it makes me want to toss my cookies and he's always there to bail her out of whatever mess she's in.
We even bought a house for her to live in because she was about to be out on the street. . .and you guessed it, nothing was ever right or good enough for the Princess. I'm also disabled, but I can't count on any support -- physical or emotional -- from my husband.
You have my sympathy and understanding. I'm not sure what it's going to take for our husbands to wake up and smell the coffee. Whatever it is, I suspect it's going to be something drastic.
Email me if you ever need a sympathic listener. Been here, done this, know a little about what you must be feeling.
2006-11-05 12:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by Wolfeblayde 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was raised with a strong family value system. You always help family when they need you. Unfortunately he has not transferred this to his own family. Fighting will not solve the problem. Talk calmly without putting blame on him. Let him know what you need at home. Offer to work with him to get the things done. Maybe his sister can come visit and bring the kids. She could join in to help as a thank you for all he has done at her house.
2006-11-05 12:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time to sit him down and have a little chat. He needs to be reminded he is married to you and has his own family. Tell him it is okay to help his sister out once in a while but he needs to be there for you. If he can't handle that tell him its time he go to live with his sister. Its time for his sister to have some independance.
2006-11-05 12:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by Pandora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad he is very sympathetic to his sister. He has got his priorities all wrong. He forgot he is married to you. The only solution is to move far away from her. If you can't do that, accept it or divorce him.
2006-11-06 03:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like it to me to. His first responsible should be to you and his children, if after he has met his responsible with his own famiy and he wants to help his sister i don't see anything wrong with it.
2006-11-05 12:09:29 · answer #5 · answered by Ellen J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he really loves his sister
2006-11-05 12:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by mister_bill@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋