i've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 yrs now and still very much in love but he is extreamly mean yelling at me calling me names and tells me constantly he will do what he wants i he doesn't care what i think or how i feel. then he'll do a total 360 and be so sweet. i know its time for me to leave but i just don't know how.
2006-11-05 11:33:39 · 12 answers · asked by skyy_blue1986 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i think he treats u this way coz he knows that u love him so much and u won't dumb him
2006-11-05 11:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by Tara 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being abused hun! He's showing classic signs of an abuser, esp. the total 360 turn and being so sweet. That is how abusers keep their victims hooked, keep them thinking 'maybe it will get better'.. But it won't! The next time around it gets worse. And then the 360 turn and it starts all over again.
You say you know it's time for you to leave. Gooooo! Now... Before you get hurt even more!
You can get your things together when he's asleep or gone, please don't tell him beforehand that you are leaving! No packing in front of him, threaten to leave, none of that. Just wait until he's not there or he's sound asleep, grab your stuff and get the heck outta dodge. Take everything you'll need, cuz you won't want to come back for anything later. Just take your stuff not his, not anything that belongs to both of you. Later on, from a safe distance, you can work out with him who gets to have what. The most important thing is to get YOU outta there, and your kids, if you have any.
Go to your family, or a friends house. It's best for your safety if you go somewhere he won't find you. If you have nowhere to go, call your local domestic violence shelter, you can stay there for free, and they'll help you. If you don't know their number, look in the front of your phone book, call the information operator, the police dept, a hospital or a church, etc. Someone like that can give you the number.
After you get out, PLEASE don't give in and go back to him! No matter how you feel, no matter if he begs and pleads and promises you he'll change. He won't!! He might for awhile, but over time he'll go right back to doing the same thing again, and you'll be stuck, the abuse could escalate at that point and you could end up getting hurt or even killed. It happens all the time!
I've been there.. that's how I know. My sons and I barely got out with our lives. PLEASE don't let it get to that point!
Email me if you'd like.. My heart goes out to you...
Myst
2006-11-05 12:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by Myst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. And be firm on your decision. You deserve to be treated better. And if this is how your guy treats you, like you're some sort of shock-absorber, then leave him. Just stand your ground. It'd be better if you break things with him in an amicable way, so that he won't develop some sort of stalker behavior. Coz he is a distubed guy. His actions are typical manifestations of bipolar disorder. Trust me, I'm a psychology graduate, and I did bipolar disorder for a paper on Abnormal Psychology.
2006-11-05 11:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by - iceman - 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, get your accommodation in order. Then, pack your bags, leave a brief note and walk out. DON'T give him your new address, and don't go back. Enjoy your new freedom and life. You will be doing the right thing. Good luck and I hope you find the man of your dreams.
2006-11-05 11:47:08 · answer #4 · answered by jammer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the typical behavior of an abuser. If you have any self-respect you will just get out now. You deserve better.
2006-11-05 11:40:05 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds bi-polar to me also. Medication or get out fast. Unless you enjoy this abuse. I'm sure he wouldn't take the same behavior from you!
2006-11-05 11:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by sirenontheriver 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what he does is called emotional abuse and you need to dump the dirt bag now. it will only get worse if you take it. sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear darlin but i believe in being real
2006-11-05 12:19:48 · answer #7 · answered by jusme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate people who stay in abusive relationships when they know it's abusive, I don't want to hate you, please don't make me hate you. Leave him and find someone who'll appreciate, respect, and love you a bit more.
2006-11-05 11:41:00 · answer #8 · answered by Rageling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel and if he doesn't change then your gone - mean those words and live by them.
2006-11-05 11:46:12 · answer #9 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him about your situation.dump him! no one diserves to be treated that way!!
2006-11-05 11:36:45 · answer #10 · answered by Luvahlee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋