In your experience, how likely do you think it is for an acquaintance who is an out gay man or lesbian to out a closeted one who asked them to keep it quiet? I'm trying to find a support network quietly before coming out all the way. (right-wing religious family)
2006-11-05 11:17:59 · 17 answers · asked by lucy_ritter 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Oh yeahhhhh (if I weren't already out) I'd trust an out gay man or lesbian not to out me! Mainly because they very likely already understand how important it is to find that support network quietly before coming out all the way. And to be sure you don't get outted before you are ready, just ask that acquaintance to keep it quiet. You may find that person can be part of your support network too.
When you are ready to come out, (especially with having a right-wing religious family) my suggestion is to start with friends your age who would understand a bit better, then close family members (if any) who you feel loves you no matter what. It may be that there are some in your family who just wouldn't understand, wouldn't accept it. Save those for last. lol.. Once you have your network surrounding you, you'll have them to turn to for understanding and support, no matter if others don't give that.
And you might be surprised as you begin to share with others. I was scared to tell my sons, scared how to tell them, yet when I did, they said, 'it's about time mom, we've known that for ages'. LOL.. You may likely find that the ppl you are scared to tell, already have sensed it in you, have seen it in you, and it's no surprise at all to them to hear you finally say it aloud. :)
Myst
2006-11-05 11:46:35 · answer #1 · answered by Myst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very unlikely that a gay or lesbian would out another gay or lesbian, but it is not impossible. If you are in the closet but belong to an extreme right wing organization or are involved in politics working against gays and lesbians you run the risk of being outed. Since you say that your family is a right wing religious one, if a family member is in a high profile position that advocates against lesbians and gays, there is also a higher risk of being outed. If you or your family is not active against gays, there would be little if any motivation for someone to out you.
2006-11-05 11:42:13 · answer #2 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in basic terms like your concepts is closed in the direction of those couples, the heterosexual minds are closed to you. The gay community must be extra open & welcoming because of the way we are dealt with by skill of the international. i'm getting which you're a feminist & whatnot yet that may no longer even the case in maximum circumstances. a great sort of the circumstances, those that appear as if they're being controlled are those with the main potential interior the courting. this question is in basic terms putting a good greater unfavourable effect on the community than there already is. i'm a femme & i'm into futches. i do no longer enable them to administration me because of the fact i'm no longer stupid. i know a thank you to stand up for myself. Open your eyes somewhat hun, you will possibly comprehend the international isn't what it style of feels.
2016-11-27 20:58:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family is also religious some took the news pretty well those i know would think i'm posesed by demons doesn't know and won't until i get into a very serious relationship.
Your mom would understand and support you,there is no greater love than a mother's love.
2006-11-05 11:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a 23 year old that is not "out" to most of my family simply because there is no sense in breaking their hearts, most of them are small minded southern Baptist from Kentucky who are barely used to African American people. They think my partner and I are just roommates. It has helped that we have grown up together and according to them "are like sisters" and at first we were we just grew closer a little at a time, especially after break ups with boyfriends. So I understand were you are coming from. I really have no desire to "come out" to my family. maybe one day.
2006-11-07 06:17:35 · answer #5 · answered by Indiana Girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most do not "out" everyday gay, same sex folks. A few people like to "out" semi-famous lesbians etc. My sister still Prays for me. There seems to be no way around a "Right" family.
2006-11-05 11:24:03 · answer #6 · answered by janshouse justice for all 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ONLY time that happened to me, it was an out guy who I didn't like who found out about me somewhere else (possibly an indiscrete lj I foolishly had at the time). Like...this was someone I already knew I didn't trust. Generally, people have been there and they get it.
2006-11-05 14:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think for the most part it is an unwritten law amongst us to not out each other. I'm sure you are safe if you trust that person as a friend.
2006-11-05 11:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by arielsalom33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had lots of gay friends - and there have been some that were "out" and some that were "in". I have never heard of another homosexual person who is living with their parents outing another just because they haven't come "out" yet. It is possible that it might happen after they have moved out, but I would think it wouldn't be a huge deal.
Just my two cents.
2006-11-05 11:20:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on how trustworthy he or she is. Anyone who would reveal your secrets when you asked them not to is not someone you need to associate with. If you feel he/she is trustworthy then there is no reason to believe that he/she would do something like that. You need to base it off of that person and not that person's sexuality.
2006-11-05 11:44:07 · answer #10 · answered by Rageling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋