How can I restore my wife's confidence in me again after I cheated in the past?

Answer 1

Here's my suggestion (from experience on the being cheated on side). First, stop and think about how badly you have hurt her. Think about the damage that has been done to the relationship. I'm not telling you to do this so you will feel bad. I'm saying it so you will know what she feels like. She is going to be going through some tremendous grief (even though you are not dead or leaving her, there is something precious that has been lost). Then you need to consider how insecure she must be feeling right now. She is possibly feeling unattractive, unwanted and unloved - maybe she feels she doesn't measure up or has lost your interest. Once you understand what she might be feeling, you need to go to her and tell her that although you can't understand exactly what she is feeling, you do know that she is hurting badly. Acknowledge her feelings, even if you don't understand them, they are hers and she is entitled to them. She will likely go through phases of certain fears and feelings. you need to understand what she is feeling and help her to overcome that. Be prepared for her to need to know where you are all the time. You may get really tired of this, but she needs to be able to check up on you. Next, get rid of all things from the other woman, any pictures, phone numbers, gifts from her - anything and everything. Recognize that you may still have feelings for the other woman - but DO NOT share this with your wife. If you don't have feelings for the other woman, you might have some potent memories. Whenever you find yourself dwelling on them, change what you are thinking about. Work on getting her out of your mind. This is going to take a lot of work and reassurance on your part. And just when you think things are going great - expect her to need more reassurance or to get angry again. When this happens, think again about how much you love her. Also, I think it is important to understand why you cheated. Was there a problem in your current relationship? If so, fix it. And lastly, I agree with whoever above said to pray. That is the single most important thing you can do. Because this is a major breach of trust and devastating to experience. She is going to need a lot of help getting past it and trusting you again. Best wishes in your future together!

Answer 2

Well man this is a tough one. I have been in this situation, only I didn't cheat physically it was with emails and flirting on line. My wife has left me, but that's another story. Restoring her confidence is hard. It's not really something you can do. It takes time. You have to let her see that you know you made a mistake and that you don't want to loose her. Like I said it won't be easy. But if you can regain her trust than your marriage will last forever. I pray everyday that my wife will come back to me. That's another thing if you are religious pray about it. God already forgave you but she may not have yet. So things will be rough til she knows that you want her and only her.

Answer 3

1. Start by going to church every week, with her. It'll do you both good.

2. When you tell her you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, make sure you are.

3. Ask her permission to do an activity outside the home (out with the guys, looking at cars, going to the store) and tell her that you are asking because you want her to be confident about your activities.

4. Keep the lines of communication open at all times.

5. Don't expect the sexual relationship to improve until she is more confident in your faithfulness.

6. Get some counseling yourself, then ask her to join you for a few sessions.

Answer 4

Simply- Be ready to face the music until she is over it. It could take the rest of your life. If you arent up for a life sentence, get out now. She could hold this over your head for good. If she does, you deserve it. Otherwise, you need to be available at all times. Make yourself accountable for every place you go so that she has no reason to be suspicious. Also couselling at least for for yourself at least and maybe for your wife to find out why you cheated in the first place. Good luck with your marriage.

Answer 5

One of your questions asks how you can regain your wife's confidence and the other asks how do you tell your wife you fell in love with another woman. No wonder she doesn't trust you; you are clearly a liar.

Answer 6

seem her interior the attention, and tell her the certainty. After that, it is on her to be sure the thank you to experience greater useful. If she desires tochronic herself nuts with paranoia and suspicion, oh nicely, that's her subject, no longer yours.

Answer 7

Probably, its almost impossible to regain a woman's trust after you betrayed her, specially if she has given you her best that she could have given to anybody.

Take care and pray a lot. Try to be very gentle and do things that she likes to do.

Answer 8

You should stop with the cherry chapstick story, I mean I only read that one from your other questions once and I'm done with it. You need to stop asking us questions and start respecting your wife..

Answer 9

Nothing you can do but give her time and show her that you are sorry. What would you do if you were in her shoes, im sure you would take a while to trust her again. and DONT DO IT AGAIN

Answer 10

It takes ALOT of time and patience, even after you think shes going to be ok about it, it will still be there in her mind always, there will probabaly always be doubt.