My boyfriend of 7 months went out last night to a sex club with his roommate to be his wing man. I know he didn't fool around with other guys but it makes me feel uncomfortable and I feel like it disrespects our relationship. He told me about it and doesn't think it's a big deal.
I'm in love with him but want to be true to my feelings. How should I best handle this situation?
2006-11-05 10:53:45 · 11 answers · asked by Toby 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Trust him and let him go out on the town with his friend. If you continue to be jealous & upset, your faithful boyfriend may end up cheating after all since he's being accused anyway. He has nothing to lose then.
2006-11-05 11:46:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ozzie B. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure sheds some new light doesn't it? What is a sex club? Re: Didn't fool around with other guys" You mean a gay club? Or a Strip club, A swing club? In any case, if it is not a norm for him, perhaps let it ride but be aware. Maybe he was just curious. Ask him why he went? How do you feel with the answer he gives you? Best way to handle it is to talk face to face with him. Take this seriously. If it were a gay club is he perhaps bi-sexual? If so, how does that make you feel? If it continues then maybe second think the situation, Is this the type of activities that you want to accompany your relationship? Know what you want. Know your boundries. Stick to it.
2016-05-22 02:07:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you hope to be true to anything or anyone, unless you are first true to yourself and your own inner beliefs and feelings? I don't think the word I would use is "upset" But I'd say what he did is something of a red flag "heads up", and you either get his attention right now about it, or this might (I say will) expand into other things as he feels compelled to walk further and further down that particular road. And, since he has already indicated to you that he doesn't think it's a big deal, there's no doubt in my mind that is what he intends to do. My bet is that it wouldn't be long before he will be wanting you to walk down that road right along with him, so better make up your mind in advance, what you are going to decide, when he does.
With a lot of people, there is some sort of "compulsion" that is built right into their mental process, if you will. It's "hardwired" in there, which means that even if you manage to get that person to stop doing a particular thing.... for a while......sooner or later it will come out again . Better to be aware of this before you get into a serious commitment such as marriage, with such a person, than to have it reappear afterwards.
2006-11-05 12:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in an exclusive relationship your boyfriend should not have gone with his roommate, if he wanted to go he should have asked you first. I wonder why he didn't ask you to go with him. It's not a big deal for him to go to a sex club if you knew about it beforehand and said it was OK, but since he went without you knowing at the time he is the one that made it an issue.
The way to handle the situation is to sit him down and tell him that his going without your knowledge makes you question if he loves you as much as you love him, and ask him why he didn't tell you he was going there at the time.
2006-11-05 11:25:53 · answer #4 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, why did he go to this club. Second, why didn't he tell you. Do you think you would have been okay with it if you knew. Those are a few questions you have to ask yourself. I think you should keep it real and let him know how you feel. How are you going to have a sturdy foundation for a relationship if you cant even tell him how you feel?
2006-11-05 10:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by bk'sfinest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you upset cuz you are insecure about the relationship? He should be able to go out and have a good time and if he is committed to you there shouldn't be a problem unless you are insecure about his intentions and he acts like this all of the time. I can't tell you what to do, just be honest with yourself and him.
2006-11-05 11:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by Namaste 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you know?
If you trust him so much-what is the point of this question?
It does not sound like you believe nor trust him.
So at this point either you move on-which one might consider taking a temp break from this short relationship-
or drop it.
advice from this forum isn't going to help you.
one that goes clubbing -is looking and not satisfied....been there--done that---
if the meal's on the table you don't have to stop at burger king.
2006-11-05 11:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by cork 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should be upset at him
talk to him though ask him why maybe he just wants something out of you or maybe he doesn't that is why he went to the club
Talking to your mate is the key
2006-11-05 10:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by soccerlover63401 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should be upset unless he gives you a reason not to trust him. If you don't have trust in a relationship than you really don't have anything.
2006-11-05 11:03:12 · answer #9 · answered by free_style_forever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he told you about it then it probably isn't as big a deal as you are making it . tell him how you feel but don't push him away will undo jealousy. jealousy is a great way to kill a relationship
2006-11-05 11:41:23 · answer #10 · answered by jusme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋