How do I win my girlfriends heart and trust back?

Question

Once engaged and planned to be married in march. I'm at the point of moving out of her place after living with eachother for 4 months. We both had some modertate issues with the move in and been in a serious downward spiral. Being overly sensitive to moving into her "domain" i showed a side of me that she never seen, the verbal abuser! We would argue about normal thing but when it would get outta had I would use scare tactics and an elevated voice to end the arguement or get my point across. I've been thru lots and done some anger mangement in the past. Were going to couples couciling for sometime now and each time we go the counseler disapproves of the relationdhip and feeds her every reason not to be with me. Need positive advice the relationship was pretty good as far as trust and cheating issues. Hard girl to give up. How do I mend a broken heart in a short period of time? She has seen a better side of me but is still determined. Help!

Answer 1

If she has seen both sides of you and still is determined not to marry you then you need to accept it and move on. Easier said than done ... right? Well... I do know that if she is telling you ... No... and you are not respecting her wishes then you are actually pushing her further away from you -- NOT to you. If you really love her then give her some space. If it is meant to be then you will be together eventually. Just don't try to rush it so you can stay in her home or still marry her by March. That will only end in doom.

Answer 2

You may be wondering how to get your ex back when ex has a new friend if you're still crazy about them. Is there anything more difficult than seeing the ex you still love with another people? It's emotional torture and for many people it's something they have to deal with on a daily basis. Wanting ex back after the break up is one thing but when they already moved on and is dating someone new, it becomes a much more challenging situation. There is a right way and a wrong way to handle a situation like this if your goal is to get back together with ex. Understanding the steps you need to take and what you have to avoid at all costs, will allow you to have the best chance of becoming the person loves again.

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Answer 3

Texting is private and intimate. Texting is the
perfect way to create a private and intimate world between you and
the man or woman in your life. For women in particular, texting
can end up being a fun “game” where they can do or say anything
(even things they would never do in the “real” world).
Texting is non confrontational. Odds are your relationship
ended on a heated note. I don’t know why you and your ex broke
up, but there was probably at least one (if not a few dozen) big
fights. Done properly (the way I’m going to teach you), texting is
simple and subtle. You can slowly feed your ex tested and proven
messages and ideas without the risk of either one of you flying
off the handle, falling back into old and destructive patterns, and
throwing plates at each other.


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Answer 4

Maybe you should hold of on the wedding until you get passed this. If you can't get along now it may not get any better after your married and who likes getting divorced (paperwork, money, lawyers etc).
I'm glad you went to anger management but did you really listen and follow all their advice. Have you honestly tried. The scare tactics and loud voice can not be part of what you learned, was it. You have to learn to control your emotions and if you have nothing nice to say or feel angry, leave and say I have to go and think about this for a while. Raising your voice to anyone comes across as irrational and hostile but if you remain calm you come across as being rational and open for a discussion.
Nobody is perfect and everyone wants to get their point across but it requires some tact, self control and then silence. Fighting over small things is seldom worth it and saves a lot of friction (pick your battles)

Answer 5

In order to get out of this no-win situation, you need to throw a wrench in the works. Do the unexpected and stop contacting her. By doing so, you'll be getting back some much needed dignity, and you'll also be sending her a message that you're not about to roll over and die. Yes, you have deep feelings for her and you don't want to upset her, but it really is the only way you'll win her respect back.

Start enjoying life without her (at least let her think that). Go out with your friends, take a trip somewhere, get out and meet new people, whatever it takes. She must know that life for you doesn't end because you're not with her.

Do this, and you'll be breaking the horrible cycle you now find yourself in. With any luck, you will start creating curiosity then desire. When you're not at her beck and call, you take on a much more attractive quality in her eyes.

So now that you know how to get your girl back, get out there and make it happen!

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Answer 6

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

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Answer 7

>How do I mend a broken heart in a short period of time?
You don't. It's impossible.
Nothing worthwhile in a relationship is going to come easy. If she doesn't want to be with you, clinging will make things WORSE.
You gotta respect her. It's awesome that you've pinpointed trouble areas in your life, but if she doesn't want to give you that second chance, there is nothing you can do to stop that.

Answer 8

There are several issues you need to address before you can even try to make amends; and there's no guarantee that she'll take you back. First, sounds like you need to go back to anger management counseling, and then you need to address your verbal abuse of her. You can't fix the relationship until you fix yourself. Best of luck!

Answer 9

So now I have my ex begging for me back and tells me ex loves me still and all that. I told ex that I still love and I never stopped, but this time I’d like things to be different and my ex needs to change some things like don’t give up on his future schooling dreams like ex usually does and to treat me better than ex did before. Does it sound like I’m doing it right? I also told my ex that I don’t want the label yet until ex can prove to me that he is worthy of my time. My ex has told me that ex is committed to changing and to do anything it takes for me to forgive my ex ‘one day’.

Answer 10

In all honesty you need to get yourself under control with your emotions and anger before you can enter into a marriage. She obviously loves you and will be by your side, you need to work hard for her to get better.