He also has a mistress
2006-11-05 10:41:28 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Verbal abuse is a terrible attack on a person's self worth. Many women say that verbal abuse are wounds that one can not see.
You state that your Friends husband has a mistress, also.
It appears to me that she is hanging on to the marriage for some "Insecurity" reasons. That is very common with abused people. They have no money, no where to go, etc.
You relate, also that the Husband is telling lies about her to the children.
Your friend should prepare for a separation and an ultimate divorce. She should find a Support Group for abused women, immediately if not sooner.
Life experience shows us that things may get worse and the Verbal abuse may turn to Physical abuse.
Many women hope that the situation will get better and blame themselves for the Husbands actions and abuse. The "What did I do wrong" syndrome.
There was a movie, a true story about an abused woman... "The Burning Bed".
God Bless you in dealing with this terrible problem.
2006-11-05 11:10:38 · answer #1 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has to admit there's a problem. Then she needs to make up her mind as to whether or not she is going to tolerate the situation. If those 2 things have been accomplished & she doesn't want to tolerate this behavior, then she should file for divorce, get full physical custody of the children & move out. No one ever deserves to be abused in any shape or form. Concidering he has a mistress, this is probably the reason for the abuse in the first place. If they can put down their spouse, especially in front of children.. then the blame isn't on him, it's on her. Which we know isn't true, but to him.. it is. He doesn't think he needs to take responsibility for his adultry when he's made the mother of his children the scapegoat. So she needs to get the kids & start a new life of her own. I would suggest therapy for the children as well... once they're athoratative(sp) figure has abused the mother.. he's also abused them as well.
2006-11-05 10:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
definetly take the children and leave, get out before he brain washes them. If she is married and he has a mistress that is grounds for divorce. If may be hard on her at first but there is help out there. and she will be helping her children out alot by getting them out of that situation before he causes mental problems for them. Tell her to think about the kids and get on with her life and show them a good home.
2006-11-05 10:46:45 · answer #3 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of 3 i say pack up your kids and yourself and let him have his mistress. The reason i say this is because i was you many years ago. I could never imagine leaveing him either with myself haveing no job and a child but i did it i said f this silent bob we are going to hollywood and got out of there. sorry i just realized your question said friend so tell her all of that. If you are a good friend to her and can stand her for a little bit and it doesnt turn your life upside down invite her to stay with you or just help her come up with ideas of where she can go. best of wishes to you and your friend.
2006-11-05 11:57:33 · answer #4 · answered by nuzzihuzzi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person always needs to know that they have power in a relationship. The person they are with needs to know that too. Once people get that "They'll never leave me" mentality it's over for the person they're with. She needs to flex some power. And not just by saying she'll leave, but how. Show that she has put some thought into it and has a plan.
2006-11-05 10:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by mrmanseven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
number one verbel abuse is as bad or worse than physical because the wounds stay with you a long time . and it is hurting your kids also. If you dont leave him you are not just destroying your life but your kids will be messed up from it to i know it is hard especiallly if you love him but it sounds like he has a few problems, if he wont get any help then you better help yourself
2006-11-05 11:44:07 · answer #6 · answered by martha d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FORGIVE HIM ! But if you cannot , then DIVORCE him ...in God's eyes , it is right ( Matthew 19 ) ..About lies to the children : why worry if they are lies ( psychologically / spiritually ) ...children need no explaination at times..they are GREAT OBSERVERS and you can't fool them that easily...even if divorced , and children don't believe you , and you are right , be at PEACE with YOURSELF and GOD ...In the bible in II Timothy 2 : 15 , it says STUDY ( BIBLE / WORD OF GOD ) TO SHOW YOURSELF APPROVED UNTO GOD...UNTO GOD is what counts foremost of all...man may not believe you but God approves and that is of paramount importance...finally : do not commit suicide ! Before you found him , were there other good men around too ? They are still there , lady...you need to ressure your self-worth , PRAY about your situation and GO ! God will provide a better man who will give you peace for the rest of your life...God Bless
2006-11-05 11:07:04 · answer #7 · answered by srjione 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the kids and go to a safe place. Get him counseling. Get marriage counseling. Don't divorce until the counseling fails. But defiantly keep the kids safe.
2006-11-05 10:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by Mariah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to immediately seek shleter for helrself and the kids. He is an abuseer who must be avoided.
2006-11-05 10:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her that she needs to do what is best for her and her children and take them and leave him. Counseling won't help for this kind of guy.
2006-11-05 10:44:53 · answer #10 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋