My ex and I split up when I was still pregnant with our son. He didn't have anything to do with me during my pregnancy. No diapers, no clothes, no medical bills, nothing. When I filed for divorce when my son was about 3 months old, he decided that he wanted visitation rights. He only came to see my son 4 times that first year, and then not at all for the next year. Since my son has been two, my ex has seen him about once every 3-5 months. He doesn't call him and about 95% of the time, his mother or another family member comes to pick my son up. He spends most of the visitation with my ex-mother-n-law. My ex won't even keep the court ordered medical insurance on my son. I have confronted him before about his lack of interest in our son, and he doesn't seem to take any responsibility in it. He always finds a way to make his lack of interest out to be my fault. Does anyone else have problems dealing with their childrens father?
2006-11-05 09:57:54 · 8 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just started a group for women dealing with ex-husbands like mine. Anyone is invited to join. Just a way to share advice and opinions on ex-husbands.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theexwivesclub/
2006-11-05 09:59:09 · update #1
It's such a shame that some men turn out to be such "losers" when it comes to their children. It's unfair that our children are the ones who "suffer" for their father's lack of interest in their lives. I think if you try to remember that they are the ones who are "missing out" on all the beautiful experiences with their children, it helps keep things in perspective.
We can't control them and it's often frustrating and leaves you feeling angry. I know, I had an "ex" who showed little interest in his kids. We were only married a short time and he never wanted to take the kids (his parent's usually watched them when he did take them) because he was afraid that I'd be able to "go out".
We split up right after I had my daughter (it would have been sooner but I was pregnant). After we were split up and I had my own place I started trying to rebuild my life. I got a job and shortly after I started working (when I wasn't looking) I met my current husband. He was "everything" anyone could have ever wanted in a husband and father.
We dated for about 4 1/2 years before we got married. In the early years my "ex" took the kids once in a great while. He usually only took my son and left my daughter at home. It left my husband and I very upset but there wasn't a lot I could do about it. Finally, he remarried, had another son, and just "disappeared" from their lives.
My husband raised my kids, (my daughter was only 6 months old when I started dating him and my son was three), and he adopted them when they were older. That was 34 years ago.
So, I guess as upsetting as it is now, it does get better. I think as long as you do everything in your power to make sure your children have the best life possible, that's all that matters.
Children grow up and they know their father's were "jerks" without anyone even telling them. My kids never look for my "ex", they view my husband as their father. He was always there for them.
I wish you and your kids all the best.
2006-11-05 10:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He won't decide upon to vary his time table in your comfort. Perhaps he does not decide upon to make matters less complicated for you. You did not point out that he used to be failing to pay you baby help so I'll count on that he will pay you a reasonable quantity to manage the inconvenience of complete custody?? His definition of an emergency or trouble at paintings is probably not the equal as yours? He might view your emergencies as an try to introduce chaos into his dependent culture. I doubt that he might decide upon to depart his youngsters with out a location to sleep within the occasion of a truly concern. Your ex could inform you that his marriage is the major factor to him in view that he discovered the rate of a failed marriage from his revel in with you. You must be joyful that you just had been ready to play any such position in educating him that priceless lesson. I'd be inclined to wager that you just are not totally mindful of your ex husbands economic predicament. Your aspects approximately jewellery and holidays come off sounding extra like envy than common sense. You have made a few conflicting statements approximately your ex husband. "my ex takes holidays along with his spouse and usually they do not take the youngsters" But then you definately say......"The youngsters do not relatively like his spouse.........if my ex plans some thing and (the) youngsters inform him that they do not wish to comprise his spouse he cancels his plans and refuses to move anyplace with out his spouse." Could it's that you would love to force a wedge among your ex and his spouse?? Could it's that you're irritated that he has discovered how you can set limits and be a bigger husband? Could it's that you're irritated that he treats her bigger than he dealt with you? And would it's that you are hiding at the back of youngsters whilst making all these assaults on his person? I do not suppose many people are brooding about why he is not with you to any extent further.
2016-09-01 07:45:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby, why do insist on giving yourself a headache by dealing with a boy who obviously should have ''dried'' up on his mother ask?!!!
Give it up. Let it go. Let God. I'll bet money your a excellent mother, and provide all you can for you children. You can't beat yourself up about this a**holes lack of interest in his son. What you should do is look to the Lord for strength, courage, and guidance to raise a decent, and respectful son. God will handle your sorry ask ex-husband, revengence is the Lords, not yours. Don't stress about what you have no control over.
2006-11-05 10:04:06 · answer #3 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry. Guys like him give men a bad name. Personally I think you cant call a guy like him a man. Because real men dont do things like CHEAT ABUSE IGNORE or DISRESPECT women or their children. So please dont group him in with the rest of us. And its not all ex-husbands either. I think mainly why guys like that do things as they do. Is one they wer brought up wrong and didnt get taught the right way to love. Also I believe society has something to do with it. If you are sensitive or caring and you are a man. Then you must be gay or hiding something. According to society. Therefore men attempt to hide or seal their feelings and dont do nice things in order to prove themselves manly. Which is a shame.
2006-11-05 10:19:59 · answer #4 · answered by Vinny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take his sorry rump back to court and make him hold up his end of the bargain. He should be just as responsible for your son as you are. And, if he doesn't hold up his end of things after you take him to court, keep records and then file to have his parental rights taken away. Doesn't sound like that would bother him much, but at least he wouldn't have any legal hold on your child. Lots of luck.
2006-11-05 10:01:06 · answer #5 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there you go ask the peoples in the club
2006-11-05 10:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
luckily I didn't have any children with my ex
2006-11-05 10:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he always was a jerk, but you didn't want to know that because you were "in love". Don't blame him- you picked him.
2006-11-05 10:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋