I told my wife to leave?

Question

Today I found a card form another man that my wife works with. He the card it had mentioned that he couldn't wait to see her again and wait to make love to her. he also mentioned that he wanted to feel his skin against her's. I bouted her out and put her sh*t on the front porch. Now, I know I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. I have been married for over 8 years and am really confused. I know who the guy is and I would like to go over to his house and give him a piece of my mind. I'm not the type of person that would do that. It's just the way I feel. Has anyone ever been thru this, and how hard is is to get thru. I'm still in love with her, but am extremly pissed about the AFFAIR. Some please help. Thanks for Listening.

Answer 1

got over there and beat him up it will make you and your wife feel better. If you don't she'll think you r a wimp and was right to have the affair with someone who has the balls to fu*k around with another mans wife. BTW why do you get to keep the house no wonder she turned to some one else it was clearly never her home as well.

Answer 2

So maybe somebody else wrote the card to play a trick on the two of you.

If you're the victim of a prank, don't make things worse by confronting the guy.

So maybe the guy really wrote it, but he was lying and made the affair up, because she turned him down and he wanted revenge on her.

Don't do something that will make things worse for you, even cause you to end up in jail.

So maybe she really did have sex with this guy. Does that mean that you can't see ever see her again? Or does it maybe mean that you and she can glue the pieces back together and have some more good years?

Like Ann Landers used to say, offer to go to counseling with her. If she won't go with you, go alone. You can use some help getting through this, and strangers typing four paragraph answers online won't get you very far.

g'luck

Answer 3

Been through it 6 years now.About the same story you told happened to me.You are going to love her more than ever one minute a then hate so much the next you will want to do something stupid,my advice DON'T.It is going to take alot of time and then you will still have some mixed feeling.After the first 2 years you will be able to start letting down your guard a little.Work on your trust issuses during this time because it is really hard to trust someone with your heart again after something like this happens.Dont let your heart or head play tricks on you and believe that things could work out because its to painful and destructive to go back and try again.As for him best advice is to leave his sorry *** alone.I didn't and it cost me a pile of money but it sure made me feel better.

Answer 4

Love her or not..you need some space right now and time to think. Dont make hasty decisions....give it some time and decide what it is you guys want.. You cannot beg somebody to stay it would never ever work. Maybe she is unhappy with your marriage and has been for some time? Is the other guy married too? Trust is so valuable in a relationship....she's betrayed yours and you will probably never ever get that back even if you guys manage to work through this with some councelling etc.. You need to think very carefully about your future...dont decide quickly it maynot be the right decision. You are in the drivers seat.... love and emotions asside she has betrayed you in the worst possible way. Good luck...these things are never easy.....time will heal though and make things seem not quite as bad..right now its a new wound....

Answer 5

Hey Beachdog, sorry to hear that your wife went outside your marriage. I'm in a similar situation,sorta. I'm the one who thought of cheating. Not to hurt my spouse or because I'm a bad person, it was because even though we are with each other daily, he does his thing I do mine and I got very lonely and when I told him this he would not listen, in fact he withdrew more, he's not a physical guy. But anyway my point to you is maybe your wife is in need of some serious romance, little love notes out of the blue, run her a bubble bath with candles just because then offer to wash her hair or join her, that sort of stuff. It may be that even though you are together she is lonely on some level and needs some TLC without smothering, small jesters are very heart warming. So if you want to forgive her and move on in your life together, make a positive effort to be there, don't let her back to punish her because by the sound of your letter, it will also hurt you.. Best of luck..Shell

Answer 6

Sorry to read about your news. What your wife did was unacceptable and very trifling. On your part, you shouldn't confront the guy because your wife agreed to the affair. He did not make your wife have sex with him. Have you talk to her? I know it will be hard to get over this even if you two get back together. If you want to get back with her, talk to her about the reason she had the affair. Listen to her and then explain how it made you feel. Maybe, if you all are still interested in keeping the marriage, seek marriage counseling to help with underlying issues within the marriage. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Sometimes people do things without thinking, it's sad you had to find out that way about the affair. I think you should wait a day or two to cool off, then call her and both of you sit and talk this out. Believe it or not some couples actually come back stronger after an affair. What do you have to lose?

Answer 8

I sympathize with your anger, but maybe you could have listened to her reason for doing something so awful to jeopardize the marriage.

Some of your questions could have been answered by not putting her out ( by the way is the house in your name only? If not, how you put her out of a house that's hers too, unless she wanted to leave anyway?) If once you calm down you feel you can talk rationally to her about this affair then get to the bottom of it. Why did she cheat. What role you played in it..............Oh yes Baby, you play a role in her decision, even if it's a small role, you contributed to her feeling it was necessary to seek another man. Ask God for forgiveness of your sins, and ask Him to help you get thru this agonizing time in your marriage. If you feel your wife is worth it, fight the enemy ( Devil) and salvage your marriage.

God Bless, and Good luck.

Answer 9

That is hardest thing in the world to find out, all those years you have been true and they go out sleeping around with someone else. You'll feel you can't breath, your lose weight and you wonder what did I do wrong. I had the same happen to me , I moved to another house and cried every night. But, one morning i woke up and said to myself what are you doing to yourself. I started going out dancing, eating , and just not staying alone thinking about it. I started feeling better and he came back asking for another chance after about 3 months. I looked at him I couldn't believe after all those years, I really didn't know him anymore , I wonder how I could live with someone like this and not even recognize them anymore.
I straightened up and I got so much better and after the divorce I started dating and met the love of my life.
He has called me 4 or 5 times begging me to get back together and I had the pleasure of laughing right in his face. You'll get better after the schock wears off and beleive me you are better off without a cheat. I'm like a elephant I may make you think I forgot but I never forget or forgive a person that hurts me.
Best of Luck To You.

Answer 10

Your feelings are justifiable. I suspect she left the card for you to accidentally see because she wants out but is to gutless to do it in a mature manner. When you threw her out you acted from pure emoition. You are wounded on many different levels and it's difficult to think straight. The initial shock hit you hard and I'd say you were in touch with the raw emotions of betrayal & deception. There is nothing wrong with throwing her out to protect yourself. Doing something to the guy is not going to solve anything. In fact it will incur more problems if you loose control and try to hurt him for the pain his actions have caused you. This low life has no respect for the sanctity of marriage and in the end once he & your wife are through playing she will suffer from the error she has made in trusting a skunk like him. I know you think you're still "in love" with her but you're not...You may still love her because you've been married for 8 years. But you are not in love with this woman who just crapped all over you and has lost all of her marbles to end your 8 year marriage in such a callous manner. You may still be in love with the idea of loving her. But you are now in the process of a major life shift. The ride is going to get very bumpy...the best you can do is to find some friends and talk...talk...talk..and if you really want to be healthy and process this in the most effective way seek some professional counseling...in the end it will help you stand taller rather than to fall apart from this series of most unfortunate events. Many have been where you are. The wise move on with head held high as they "work through the pain" rather than to retaliate. She *hit on you. Wipe off the *hit and take care of you!