Up until 6 months ago my husband had been very distant towards me and our 3 year old daughter, he would go out all the time, had one affair that I know of, drank every day and 6 months ago hit me. Prior to him hitting me I had been so disgusted with his behavior and lonely from him not being around I had started talking to someone over the phone (someone I used to work with). This person was sweet, funny, flowered me with compliments and helped me through this difficult time. My husband learned that I had been speaking to someone else and that I was going to leave the relationship because I wanted better, that's when he went crazy and attacked me. Long story short, since the incident he has stopped drinking (sober 6 months now), is home every night, is very active with our daughter and is trying so hard to be a good husband...BUT..in that time I have developed feelings for this other person and no matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking or wanting to talk to him...
2006-11-05 09:38:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
While I agree with the other answers to some extent, what I dont agree with is your husband hitting you. And it took you talking to someone else to have him come back around. Now if it was a woman that did that to her man, people would be screaming for the man to leave her and that she is no good, and an unfit mother, and so on and so on. Now why is it that you have to put up with that kind of behavior? He has changed now but how long is it going to last? If I were you, first, I would get rid of the other friend, just for now at least. After that sit down and ask yourself if you still love your husband and if you WANT this marriage still. If you don't, then get out. You are not obligated to make this work just because you have a child together. Your child will be ok when you are ok.
2006-11-05 09:58:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he's trying hard and he's doing everything now you wanted that he wasn't doing in the past, then why leave. Have you falling out of love with him? If so, then try to seek some type of marriage counseling on your own first. Maybe you all should try to make your love life a little more interesting by doing things that you didn't do in the past (taking trips together, sexual fantacies, etc.). I understand what you are saying about leaving your hubby for another man but always remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side. The other man may tell you things you want to hear now because he can't have you. Watch what will happen once you leave your household for him. I have seen it many times before.
If hubby continues to be disrespectful (verbal and physically abusive) than move on for the sake your your life and daughter's life.
2006-11-05 10:17:50 · answer #2 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave your husband for yourself. Your marriage is obviously on the rocks. Get that issue resolved before you turn your attention to a new relationship. Either put yourself into the marriage or leave it. Once you are settled and on your own and feeling stronger, then you can turn your attention to whether or not you want to start something with someone else.
If you leave one relationship for another, you will just recreate the same situation all over again.
2006-11-05 09:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by gatheringplace2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is human, and deserves your forgiveness. Your devoting so much energy to this other man, when you need to eliminate any and all contact with this other man, and concentrate on your husband and daughter.
I know your husband hurt you, but you have to ask for forgiveness for your sin(you do know your emotionally committing adultery, and that makes you no better than your husband and his physical cheating) and forgive your husband, and move on. Life is too short to hold grudges. Suppose God wouldn't release you from things you've done that offended Him. Your husband deserves a second chance at being a good husband and father.
2006-11-05 09:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard to stop thinking about your husbands affair and what hes done in the past but you need to think about your daughter first of all you need to know that your husband loves you cause if he didn't he would have not changed but because hes trying to change you need to give him that chance.
2006-11-05 09:48:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Sounds to me that he is making a big change for you and your daughter. If I were you I would stop talking to this other guy, the grass is never greener on the other side, I would go to councilling with your husband.
2006-11-05 09:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has taken some big steps that I'm sure were not easy for him. I assume he did it because he does love you and your daughter. You have to do what your heart tells you is right, not your head and don't forget you have a daughter to think about also. Good Luck
2006-11-05 09:45:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who means more this new guy or your husband? Don't forget that whatever you decide someone will be hurt. It sounds like you really like this new guy huh? I seem to always be the new guy in this sort of thing so I can't tell you what is better because I always get hurt when I'm caught in the decision.
2006-11-05 09:43:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen ,you should never leave the one you love for the one you like, becasue the one you like will leave you for the one they love !! So to leave would be a big mistake !! Unless the relationship was abusive or hurting you so bad you felt as if you were going to erupt!!!
2006-11-05 09:57:48 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me like your husband is trying very hard, so give him a chance
2006-11-05 09:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋