My friend was a lesbian, but now is "straight" but I am not buying it. Do you think people can stop being gay?

Question

She had a homosexual past, etc. but apparently, she is a heterosexual now. She is married and has a child, but I do not buy it at all. You either are gay, or not. There is no "changing my mind because the bible says that it is wrong". I sometimes send her pictures of men without shirts on and she thinks that it is "disgusting" and she never talks about guys, ever. But then, she wrote a blog entry on the most beautiful Hollywood actresses. I think that what she is doing is unnatural and completely unhealthy. Do you think that people can just "stop" being gay?

I do not have a problem with gay people, I am just asking whether or not a person who was always gay can suddenly do a 360

Happy life? SHE IS MISERABLE. She hates her husband, etc. I have never met someone so unhappy in my life.

She was gay before straight, and I was not testing her. I did not know that she was gay until this year. She never told me.

Why would she hide it? Before she was an theist, now she is a super Christian. She may be hiding it because she feels that it is wrong and she might go to HELL. There are a lot of good reasons for her to hide it and be ashamed.

Answer 1

No I don't believe that you can be straight or gay and then just suddenly change. I believe we are born bisexual and then simply have a biological preference and sometimes that preference is very strongly one way or the other.

My guess is that your friend wanted to not be who she is badly enough that she lied to herself and convinced herself that she could be straight. I'm sure she is extremely tormented. However, this is not your issue and I would strongly suggest you stay out of it. You don't want to be any where around when this marriage tanks, and it will and it will probably be really ugly. While I know you want to be supportive, with the kind of self destructive lying she is doing to herself, you stand a very good chance of getting caught in the cross fire. Distance yourself.

Answer 2

I don't think people can stop being gay. But I do think that sometimes people experiment with things or live a certain way and either get tired of it or realize that it's not really what they want. I'm not saying this is your friend's situation, but maybe the person she was then was a person who was trying to fit in or just wanting to experiment. Maybe the person she is now is the person she was meant to be. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe she is doing it because she is ashamed, or she wants the "typical American lifestyle", which is interpreted by some as having a hetero lifestyle with children. There are many reasons why she could be doing this. But don't let it tear your friendship apart. If she doesn't already know how you feel, sit her down and tell her. But after that you have to just let it go. It's her life and you don't want her to get upset with you and lose her as a friend.

Answer 3

The question should be: was she actually a lesbian to begin with. All the media about gay rights, same sex marriages, etc., have made homosexuality more and more socially acceptable. Being gay is now socially "fashionable" if you'll excuse the analogy. Your friend may have experimented with a same sex relationship. She may have thought she was at the time, then decided that a heterosexual relationship, complete with motherhood without legal issues or moral controversies is really what she wanted. The photos that you send her are probably not as disgusting to her as the fact that you are deliberately testing her. That is completely disgusting coming from someone who calls herself a friend. Let her find her own place in life. You need to concern yourself with your own.

Answer 4

Although I don't think someone can do a 180 with their sexuality, I do believe people, in general, are bisexual to some degree--her being disgusted by the photos you sent her may have been simply the way she thought she should react. I don't think a person just "stops" being gay or straight--they had to have those tendencies (even if hidden) in the past.

Answer 5

People are born male or female as such the genetic makeup is either XX or XY there is no other.Homosexuality is a mind problem not a sex problem.Eating disorders are also mind problems not food problems.Being born black is not a choice but being homosexual is.People need to face the truth and stop hiding behind stuff that they think feels good.

Answer 6

I don't think so. She can repress her sexuality but it's most definately not healthy and she's really doing nothing but leading her husband on. I'm attracted to men and women. I may be in love with a woman but I'll always be attracted to men as well, I just don't see myself ever being anything except bisexual and I honestly don't know how anyone else could change their sexuality either.

Answer 7

You're doing the right thing, so don't stop. The idea of giving a gift isn't to get one in return, it's your way of saying something special to someone else. Also, your friends may not be in a financial situation that allows for them to buy you a gift.

Answer 8

if you really are gay then no, you cannot change


this may seem silly but it's true, scientists have found supporting genetic evidence that homosexuality is hereditary

on men it's a difference found on genes 7/8 and 10 and although nothing is factual.

think of this... if your straight now... think about trying to be gay... that's looking at this from a different perspective.

your a girl.. ( this is abstract thinking) but if liking a guy was wrong and girls were supposed to like girls and boys boys....naturally..

could you stop liking boys and only like girls if that was the norm??

see, now that would be tough, get my point

Answer 9

you can not change your sexuality. you can however choose not to act upon your preferences. she may still be attracted to women but has begun to feel for some reason (possibly peer pressure ) that her feelings are wrong especially if as you said she is now a superchristian. she will probably have a miserable life unless she is true to herself but there is nothing you or anyone else can do but let her make her own decisions. it is her life.

Answer 10

people can change sexuality is a owerful thing and why would you not believe her cuz if you think about it if she told you she has done stuff with girls and that she liked girls before why would she try to hide it lol most people dont come out and then go back in so its not like shes ashamed cuz shes already told people so theres no reason for her to lie about her sexuality i think she has changed or she may be bi but like men wayyyyyyyyyyyyy more.