well i was grabbing up his dirty laundry an i noticed a smell of perfume. so i decided i should look a lil further an noticed the smell on the front of his shirt as well as pubic hairs in his boxers an he shaves so they couldnt be his aswell as a few long peices of red hair in his boxers aswell. i have bleach blonde hair. i dont know what to do we have 2 kids an one on the way. help....
2006-11-05 07:41:44 · 19 answers · asked by leopard_goddess1983 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you already know what you have to do. You have to confront him. It's scary because he might admit to cheating, but then you will know what needs to be fixed. If you don't talk to him this will eat away at you and your marriage, and worst of all that will affect your kids. Don't mention the evidence at first. Just ask him if he has been cheating. Then if he denies cheating, bring up the things you found. This will leave him no time to think abou the answer.
On a personal note: I wish you the best of luck. I hope he isn't cheating, for everyone's sake.
2006-11-05 07:49:28 · answer #1 · answered by ecogrl23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. I'd say what you "found" doesn't sound good. It's time to sit down and talk to him.
I know it's going to be really difficult, but no matter how angry you are, try not to "attack" him when you talk to him. That will only make him "deffensive", and you won't accomplish anything.
If he admits it, then you're going to have to decide where you go from there. There are a lot of people who have "survived" an affair. I think a lot depends on the circumstances, and whether or not you think you can "accept" it.
If it was a "one night thing" and he's truly sorry, I think it might be worth trying to work it out. However, if he's "involved" with someone else, than that's a whole different ballgame (in my eyes anyhow).
He's your husband and this is your family, only you can decide what you are going to do. You have children and another one on the way, I wouldn't be too quick to "toss" my marriage aside.
I wish you the very best and I'll pray for you. Good luck.
2006-11-05 15:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So sorry that you feel this way but at this time you are venerable do to your expecting and all, now don’t get me wrong I did not say that you are imaging things because your expecting, but don’t jump to conclusion. What you need to do now is consider your unborn child and the others that you are caring for. When he come home sit down and enlighten him about what you found and ask him is there something that he should tell you and if he say no then ask him to clarify the color of the red hair that you found. I have learned that in relationship its best not to jump to conclusion to ask first and trust him. Now if this has happen before him cheating then you have something to base this on (but for now you don’t.) then you have to take the next step and know one can tell you what’s the next step is you have to decide that for you and your children. I know it hard to have to keep this kind of thoughts in your mind when you have children and one on the why and one that you love. Remember we are women the strongest species on this earth once we all stick together. I’m here for you. You can always write me at spbunnylove957@aol.com and I’ll answer and help you cope.
2006-11-05 16:20:27 · answer #3 · answered by SHAY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH yah, he is definitely cheating on you. I don't know what to say tho, you are in a tough situation. Personally, I would give him the boot and say adios amigo, but I am cold like that. Maybe you are willing to put up with crap like that or maybe you have low self-esteem and dont think you can make it without your man....but whatever you decide, remember that your kids are going to learn what marriage and relationships are about from you and the decisions you make today.
2006-11-05 15:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by joandi_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him show him what you found, let him see it, so that he doesn't think ur just being crazy let him smell the shirt, then tell him if he is or not. I know where ur coming from and it's hard, but if he is u have to choose wheather or not it's worth it. But becareful cause u r pregnant, don't work urself up to much
2006-11-05 15:45:53 · answer #5 · answered by Pricas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have found all the signs that he is! Confront him about and see what he says! If he is dont let your children be the reason you stay with him! If he knows your pregnant and he still cheats then he is no good for you!!
2006-11-05 15:44:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he must be cheating on you. i don't see how he could explain the perfume or the red hair if you have blond.its time for you to sit down and have a talk with him.plus its not good for your kids to be around all of this.hope this helps.
2006-11-05 15:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by VanessaHudgensFan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should confront him about it or just leave him because i think he is cheating on u. ur kids wont want to see their dad treating u like that and that only teaches them that it is ok to be treated like that and to treat someone else like that too. u deserve better and if he wants her.....i guess he can have her but he is losing his whole family and gaining someone that is worthless and probably doesnt even love him.
2006-11-05 16:12:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont understand why girls have to ask this question. If you find the evidence what more proof do you need. You need to decide to either talk to him and forgive him or leave, its just that simple.
2006-11-05 15:49:07 · answer #9 · answered by hyiik 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
confront him. you wont feel better until you know. just tell him what you found and sources point to cheating and you want to know the truth. if he doesnt fess up, i would suggest time apart from each other. if he truly loves you and wants to be with you, he will come back.
2006-11-05 15:44:50 · answer #10 · answered by kantriella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋