We've been married 3.5. This is my second marriage, his first. He's 44 and has had little or no sexual experience before we were married. He's very loving and caring, but can easily get his feelings hurt or get offended. We make love, but rarely. Sleep and kids are a big reason. When we do, it's mutually satisfying, but he is dependant on me doing it all. He lays there while I get him "ready" no foreplay for me at all not even french kissing, well maybe 1 or 2 quick ones. Now, sometimes in the heat of things he may touch my breasts if I'm lucky. I'm rather shy about these things even though I'm quite experienced, I've rarely been the agressor. I've gotten a game, he didn't get any hints, I've guided, and verbalized a few time I don't know what else to do. I'm subtle because of possibly making him feel bad or I'm embarassed. Due to the infrequency of our lovemaking, we've talked about getting counseling from our pastor, but I can't go into all that. Please give me some advice.
2006-11-05 06:46:44 · 12 answers · asked by Lisa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sit him down and ask him of any fantacys he has then go from there or tell him you had a dream and you want to act it out then if he is game tell him exactly what you want him to do and it might take one or 2 times but he will get the hang of it. Good luck
2006-11-05 06:50:02 · answer #1 · answered by lilblueyes8058 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him explore and learn by himself. Or you can guide him when you making love with him with practice, not verbal. Help him to get hints point with your hands and your body. Don't talk too much that can make him inferior and disappointed.
I think discussion will not help. Other thing is you have to be patient and let him know by himself, that's better for you and him.
Keep try and good luck.
2006-11-05 07:04:41 · answer #2 · answered by eddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is like reading a book I have the same problems and my name is also Lisa lol. We have sex on a regular basis but I have tried telling him things to try centering on him somewhat and also telling him how I like things has helped. I think you need to speak up cuz communication is very important in any relationship. I agree you need to be careful to hurt his feelings cuz I told him something about giving him lessons and he did take it wrong. I feel if he loves you he will also want to take care of your needs before his or both seems to make sense but remember you need to talk to him.
2006-11-05 06:59:27 · answer #3 · answered by wildrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
watch some porn together show him what you like find out what he like bring some toys to the bedroom bring some whip cream strawberries make it fun put on some ting sex he put on something sex break out the candle's the soft music dance for him he dance for you see it takes two not one and if he don 't make you happy them move on because it gets no better you need some hot sex to keep it goring are you have nothing i know i can not do it i would been gone along time ago and moved on be happy not sad
2006-11-05 06:58:48 · answer #4 · answered by connie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give him what you wrote he might be upset at first but he needs to know how you feel it will benifit both of you. If you think you need counseling it must be more then lovemaking that is between you too so you should do it .......
2006-11-05 06:50:32 · answer #5 · answered by christina c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a real dud. I don't think he is going to change. He just isn't that into sex. I think if you want it you are going to just have to take for granted that you are going to have the be the aggressor. If you can get into that roll it might work for you both.
2006-11-05 06:59:41 · answer #6 · answered by hankthecowdog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please email me at amber11204@yahoo.com, subject it Education.
I would like to share some helpful resources with you for your husband but I cannot do it on here as there are minors, and some may find the material objectionable.
I know they have personally done worlds of good.
Look forward to hearing from you
; )
2006-11-05 06:51:36 · answer #7 · answered by Amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say how much u love him and that u want him to touch you in a way that he has always wanted to, talk dirty and then say that u want him to treat u like ur a sex toy and he can do anythin he wants to do to u
2006-11-05 06:53:16 · answer #8 · answered by sarah_squidge 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you want, nothing is hotter then a women knowing what and how she wants it.
2006-11-05 06:51:29 · answer #9 · answered by mickeys12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you want or put his hands on you. he won't know if you don't show him.
2006-11-05 07:16:11 · answer #10 · answered by Bridgette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋