My fiance and I are in a long distance relationship. He is in Iraq right now. I have been paying for the phone cards because it is cheaper for me to buy them here and call him on his cell phone that he has over there. The cost is about $2000 now because he has been over there for awhile. He agreed to pay me back for this, but I don't want him to think he is doing me any favors. Also, when he comes home I am going to fly to see him. The cost of a plane ticket is $400. He agreed to pay half. I am still not satisfied with this because he makes a lot more money than I do because I am a full time student and have to pay for my school and living costs. I do not have the money for these expenses. I am already 16,000 in debt because of school and other expenses that I just cannot afford. I try my best to work when I can and save what little bit of money that I have. I have a car that is paid in full but getting really old just to prove that I do not waste money. Any advice?
2006-11-05 06:39:16 · 22 answers · asked by souplane21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he is your fiance and you two are planning on spending the rest of your lives together, now would be a good time to be honest about the money situation. Just ask him for help. I would be that, since you have not brought it up, he thinks that you are handling the debt just fine.
2006-11-05 06:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By what you are telling us you are in debt, for school, and other expenses that you can not afford and on top of it ,you choose to go further in debt.You are trying to save and you are driving a older car just to prove a point.
What are you needing to tell him?
Honey can you buy the calling cards and send them to me, I am struggling to make it and I hate not to have our calls.
I would love to fly and visit you when you are home however I can't afford it.
and then maybe add..............
The money up front would really help. Could you send it so I can buy the ticket?
Now after reading the last statements is this something you can do and also live with and/or with out.
If money is really the issue address it now.
We were in the service for many years and I know how much those phone calls mean and if the issue of $$$$ becomes more important or your electric is being cut off because of the phone calls...you need to address it now.
If he has no idea or his mind is in other places(due to his location) he might not even be thinking of it or how it is effecting you.
Communication is the Major Key to any Good relationship.
Best Wishes
2006-11-05 15:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live your life not his. Tell him that you just cant afford the phone cards and the upcoming plane ticket. If he loves you then he will find a way to visit you when he comes home. He gets a paycheck so why hasnt he paid you back for what youve dished out so far and should be sending you the price of the plane ticket if he wants to see you so bad. He has to understand that as a full time student, its not easy for you to spend money at will,and that you have expenses too. If he doesnt then Id seriously think of this relationship and if its really worth it all, because it sounds like a one way relationship and youre the one giving up. Its better to find out now what kind of guy he really is than later once you guys are married and its too late. Good luck
2006-11-05 14:57:22 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is making extra money just for being in Iraq. There is no reason why you should have to foot the entire bill.
Have him start buying phone cards to call you. And if you're both tight on cash, use email when you can. Do you send him care packages? If you do, you could cut those out of your budget and save a ton of money. Just send cards instead.
You need to talk to him about the financial situation and be upfront about it.
I was engaged to my now husband when he was in Iraq. He paid for all the phone bills and my plane ticket to come see him.
2006-11-05 16:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by usmcwife722 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is your fiance and he wants to see you and talk to you and he makes more money then he should pay. I'm sure he knows your in school and about your money situation. You should try to talk to him a little less you need to take care of your school needs. Your already 16,000.00 in debt don't make it any worse. If you love each other everything will work out. If you don't have the money to fly to where ever he is going to be then don't go, just tell him you can't afford it. Good luck and God Bless
2006-11-05 14:59:12 · answer #5 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you are going to get married- he should be man enough to pay for your expenses. That's what he's going to have to do for the rest of your lives together. If he can't pay for a plane ticket, what makes you think he'll pay for anything?
If he only offered to pay half- maybe that's a hint he's dropping that he doesn't want you to fly to see him. Why are you guys talking so much anyway? I was in the Navy myself- my husband and I met while I was in- and we have had our share of deployments while we were dating, getting married, and having children. You need to understand that it is not necessary to talk 24 hours a day, seven days a week. ESPECIALLY overseas! They charge an arm and a leg-as you already know. They prefer receiving letters anyway- it's a way to prove/show off to their fellow troops that they have someone special waiting at home.
Just get a hobby- knitting, exercise, karate, drawing- something to keep you occupied.
The next time you talk to him-discuss how you feel. He can't help you if he is not aware that there is a problem. :)
2006-11-05 14:54:08 · answer #6 · answered by Guatie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money already appears to be an issue in the relationship. You seem to have a checks and balances thing going here. If you really love him enough to marry him, I would think that once he comes home, how much you paid as opposed to how much he's paid should be a non-issue. Besides, I think he's already paid more than his share by being in Iraq in the first place.
2006-11-05 14:42:34 · answer #7 · answered by Kodoku Josei 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He does make more money than you for what he is over there doing right now but as a fellow solider, i hate to see any woman expect a guy to pay for EVERTHING. If he means that much to you to stay in a long distance relationship then both of you do what it takes to see each other dont expect him to pull the full load
2006-11-05 14:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by tim_house2003 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is priceless. I am also in a long distance relationship. I fly home more often than he flies out here to see me. But if you're planning to marry this man all that is going to be irrelevant in ten years. You are both in situations where alot of money is involved. But once all this is over, will it matter? Should it matter?
I don't think so.
2006-11-05 14:42:42 · answer #9 · answered by cyber_music 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring up to him that you're having a hard time paying for things. See what he says. They make quite a bit of extra money from being over there. You shouldn't be having to cover all the cost of communicating with him.
2006-11-05 14:44:34 · answer #10 · answered by jadelily78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋