i am about ready to have a baby and the father just wants to party, do i get him to grow up or leave him?

Question

we r both 18 and i am 5 months pregnat and he just doesnt want to grow up. he just keeps telling me, "its my senior year i am going to have fun." well its my senior year to and i ahve to spend it pregnant, its not fair. all he does is go out and party, he doesn't even have a job so do i leave him or what?? i love him and we have been togehter for 2 years but its hard cuz i want him to take responsibility ya know so what do i do?? i have talked to him but its like he doesnt listen to me. and it is stressing me out.

Answer 1

hi ya

i know how ur feeling, im 30 weeks pregnant and im 18 also and thts one of the reason i left the father of my baby, even know u are 5 months pregnant tht dont stop u from goin out aswell, just dont drink when u out u can still have a life, ive been goin out clubbin everyother sat nite but have stopped now where i have come up to the 30 weeks, if he cant understand that he needs to grow up for the sake of the baby, try suggesting a break and if he is still the same after ur little break continue to be friends for the sake of ur unborn baby, being pregnant should be a happy time for u both and if one of u is not happy maybe u need to go ur own way for a bit

good luck and best wishes x

Answer 2

No, it's not fair but women are the one's that carry the physical burden of pregnancy. You knew that before you got pregnant. If you weren't pregnant you'd be doing the same thing he's doing. He is obviously too immature to know the "right" thing to do but it's too late now.

Don't get too angry that he's trying to have a good time right now. If you don't let him, he'll resent you for it. It's more important that he acts responsibly after the baby is born. If he screws you over by forcing you to take on all the responsibility then he obviously isn't mature enough to fully understand what love and an adult relationship is anyway. If he doesn't know how to love you then you don't need anything from this guy but child support. The court will force him into getting a job then.

Answer 3

You are both young, and you cant expect him to change just because you got pregnant. Wait and see how he acts when the baby arrives. You never know...sometimes a baby changes everything. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean he needs to stop(unless he is doing drugs n stuff), but I mean, when the baby comes you need to worry. That is when you tell him to get his act together and act like a father. See how he is when the baby arrives. If he isnt around and always partying still, then tell him to hit the road. If he changes somewhat or atleast makes an effort, then give him some time! Wish you both and your baby well.

Answer 4

Let him decide, does he want to be a good Dad or not? You have to do what is best for your baby now. You cant just think about yourself anymore. Having a baby makes you grow up a lot. He will eventually see that or he will just never grow up. You have to think about the fact that if he is not going to be a constant father figure in your child's life is it going to be good for your baby? I would say no it won't be healthy and you are going to just end up hurting you and your child. Tell him to grow up or get out.

Answer 5

First of all dont get stressed out its not good for you or the baby. My little sister just went through the same situation that you are going through and my brother in law grew up realy fast when they had the baby. Sometimes it just takes time and they dont realize the level of responsibility until they see that little baby. I wouldnt give up on him quite yet. Does he go to appointments with you? If he doesnt make him go to the next one and maybe he will start to realize that he has to start growing up. Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck in the future

Answer 6

I was in your shoes too. And I stayed with the guy, and ended up supporting himself, myself, and our baby for years. He eventually did grow up but it was sooooooooo hard on me emotionally. It took a few years for him to get straightened around. Sounds like your guy is not planning on being responsible anytime soon cause if he was he would be finding a job and saving $$ for this baby. You can still have fun and be responsible at the same time.

Answer 7

honey he is doing it now he is going to keep doing it he should be out there getting a job not hanging with he gays he probable have other girl on the side and when the baby come he will change if he stay around wow u are pregnant are your parents are there for u get ready to be a single mom and get child support make sure u have his social security number and his full name and make sure he sign the birth certification take this from me i am a adult and i see it happy everyday

Answer 8

Just don't talk to him. Don't get mad at him--let him come to you. Tell him one more time how you feel about him going out to parties and then leave it be. He probably just thinks you will always be there regardless of the stupid things he does. If he doesn't come back to you--he was never yours.

You CAN do it alone. It's harder but I assure you where there's a will there's a way.

Answer 9

If he doesn't get a job within the next week tell him to leave intil he gets one. Tell him that he needs to change because he is going to be a daddy no matter how old he is. The stress that you get will cause you to lose your baby and you don't want that.

Answer 10

there is no way to "get him to grow up" he needs to do that on his own he needs to understand that he created a child and now it's time for him to take responsibility for that and get a job I'd wait it out until the baby is born and if he still acts like an immature little kid by then,then I'd leave him!