what can i do to help her?

Question

my cousin is kind of depressed because of her weight and acne and she has no friends in school , she is about 13, she is very quiet even around family. i feel bad for her. I'm about 10 yrs out of school and i really want to do something.
i was thinking a spa day or lunch w/other girls her age

Answer 1

I would start by planning to spend an afternoon with her (similar to what you mentioned). Just be her friend and someone she can talk to--hopefully she will feel comfortable with you and you can establish yourself as someone she can confide in and talk to. Let her know where you stand and that you would love to help her out. If she is unhappy about her weight/looks, maybe you could make plans to go to a workout class with her once a week, go shopping with her or get a manicure,etc. (While these are only physical improvements, they can do wonders for a 13 year old!) It sounds like she needs to build up confidence and by doing these little things, hopefully you will be able to help her with that.
Good Luck!

Answer 2

If you can introduce her to some girls that have the same issue. Many teens think they're alone with issues like that, so maybe if you can find some girls similar to her situation they can feel more comfortable. Find out what she likes to do, and then find some girls that has the same interests. Being 13 is what I like to call the "ugly duckling" stage, because puberty is hit or coming around the corner, it's a really awkard stage for a girl to go through because your body makes drastic changes that everyone can see. I know it was for me because I had big breasts at a young age so I got teased by boys a lot and I was wearing a training bra when I should've been wearing a good support bra, but I didn't know. I would take her out to the mall, or do something productive where she can bond and be open with girls her age. Another good thing is the boys and girls club because there's a lot of activities to do, and some places even have a girl's afterschool program where they interact with all girls, do homework, tutoring and do fun activities. Girl Scouts is good too. So just talk to her and see if she would be interested and I think getting some other girls around her and having a girl's day would be wonderful. Give her a makeover, and a pep talk too. She needs confidence and self-esteem.. We all have it in us, we just need a lil' push, that's all.

Answer 3

I can't believe you're that young but I suppose you could be seeing as you think a spa day will help her self-esteem or rather self-doubt.
If you want to help her, give her plenty of positives (praise)for everything she does, letting her know she has things she's good at or that she contributes to. (Maybe she's a good cook. Maybe she's really artistic. Maybe she's got a beautiful heart and helps others or animals.) Don't let her say negative things about herself, correcting her when she does, and don't say things that indicate you think other people opinion matters very much. It doesn't.
Help her by not letting her get down on herself.
Help her by encouraging her to spend time with others her age. Include her in social settings so she can learn around you - it will feel safer around her and she won't feel as threatened by her peers.

Answer 4

Maybe just a day at the spa w/o girls her age. Sometimes it's the you need to take small steps before leaping into hanging out with other girls. This way it is also all about her--there is no other attention going to anyone else. Eventually you could invite her to have a slumber party at your home with a few friends and it could go on and on just building on her confidence as you go. Best of luck.

Answer 5

Being overweight in school is bad enough, but when you have no friends its a nightmare.

How about taking her on the spa day and possibly taking nutrition to her, and even pursuade her mum to take her to the doctor for acne medicine - you can now get tablets that help.

Or even start taking her exercising after school - even just a power walk would work.

Good luck - my heart goes out to her

Answer 6

well i am a 12 year old and i have acne, i am skinny though. I think you should take her out to a spa. Have other girls come that are like her. (weight wise or acne wise.) I know i would feel comfortable and feel confident.

Answer 7

Spend time with her : go shopping, have a day just for her. Tell her that it doesn't matter what you look like, it's what on the inside that counts. Get her involved in a girls groups for teens, to get her out of her shell. Teach her healthy habits if doesn't already practice them . Try the gym & Proactive if nothing else works for you.

Answer 8

Wow, I wish I would have a cousin like you! That is a wonderful idea or maybe just the 2 of you could go and get make-overs together. You sound like a very wonderful person and she should be grateful to have a cousin like you. God bless you sweetie!

Answer 9

mmm no friends her age where are you going to find these other girls? how about starting by asking her what she likes to do that would make her feel good about herself.. does she paint, play sports and then get involved with her doing those things and tell her she is really good at it build up her self esteem once you feel good about yourself and that you can do anything other stuff sometimes doesn't matter. Good luck and also just be there for her...

Answer 10

You are very sweet and just the type of freind she needs. Encourage her, listen to her and most of all let her know she is loved as a friend.