I have just found out that my mum and dad were going to send me and my boyfriend to Hawaii for two weeks next February to meet up with my sister and her boyfriend who are travelling the world and who I haven't seen for nearly a year. They were going to surprise me with this on Christmas Day but my boyfriend said he wasn't keen on the idea when they ran it past him because of the long flight and the fact that he didn't want to make the decision of booking so much time off work for me without my consent, so now it's not happening. I'm so devastated because it was my dream to go there and I have had a very rough two years financially and emotionally. I don't know what to do now though or how serious an issue this really is. What do you think?
2006-11-05 05:57:44 · 24 answers · asked by Hotpink555 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you should talk to your boyfriend and let him know how important it is for you to go to this trip. Because you haven't seen your sister, because it's a great opportunity for a vacation, because you have had a rough two years...He should be the initiator of the idea, not the rejector. You can discuss the long flight with him, after all, it's a one time off flight, it's not like you have to do it every week. Tell him you'd love him to be with you in that moment and that it is your strongest wish for this to happen. Not everything is over yet, I understand your huge disappointment when he spoiled the surprise for you, but you have to overcome it and think of the positive things to come. Work towards this and don't think of the way it could have been presented. Otherwise you'll end up thinking that the whole plan is ruined and with a negative attitude like that you'll never reach Hawaii!! Be positive and act reasonably. Have a great time!
2006-11-05 08:02:06 · answer #1 · answered by MH 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think that he is a very selfish person, he should have discussed is reservations about going with your parents rather than spoiling your surprise. He sounds very ungrateful too, what person wouldnt think a beautiful holiday in Hawaii with the one they love isnt wonderful, regardless of the flight or time off work. I hate flying and am terrified but i knew my new husband wanted to go to the maldives on honeymoon so i went, becuase relationships are made up of sacrifice and giv and take. If i was in your position i would see if it was possible to go by myself, leave him at home after what hes done. He was thoughtless and unkind to tell you after all it was a surprise.
2006-11-05 06:05:06 · answer #2 · answered by looby1967 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok two angles to what your boyfriend did:
Positive: he had enough consideration for you to think about the fact that you'd have to book time off work and that may not have been practical to do without you knowing about it first.
Also he may have thought that it was too expensive for you to have enough spending money to bring with you (you say you had a rough two years financially)
Negative: He should have spoken to you first and then the two of you discuss it before he went and got them to cancel it. He had no right to make up your mind for you.
No matter what way you look at it - its going to be tough - if its been a longterm dream of yours then ye could have come to some arrangement - I would speak to him about it and ask him why he thought he was in a position to make a decision like this without first consulting you. Good luck hun. xx
2006-11-06 22:11:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not understand, why has it been cancelled, because you found out or what? Surely if your boyfriend knew you he must have known it was your dream and therefore would not have needed your consent to book the holidays off work. Did he just not want to go? Are your parents very annoyed. Either way I too would be gutted if it happened to me. I am sorry.
2006-11-05 06:04:58 · answer #4 · answered by calamity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ignoring the first ridiculous answer you got, I have to say you need to question how well your boyfriend really knows you. He has got this very wrong - or he knows you would love it but he doesnt want to go. Speak to your parents and see if you can go alone - or with a girlfriend. I think it is a big issue because he either put his own needs first or just doesnt know you that well.
I hope you get to see your sister.
2006-11-05 07:46:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone is missing the point here. The question is not whether or not he did the right thing, the question is, why did he not KNOW that you would have loved this trip.
If he doesn't know enough about you to know how much you wanted to see your sister, or how much you like surprises (your parents clearly knew you'd like the surprise or they wouldn't have arranged it), then is he right for you?
In our family we all love surprises, and we have arranged trips for people without their knowledge, but we are safe in the knowledge that they will be delighted with the surprise. Your parents know you, this guy doesn't. The question for you now is, is he worth getting to know better? Only you can answer that.
2006-11-05 07:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by DeeEm 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually I think your boyfriend was acting wise, thoughtful, and sensible. I mean, you can't just plan something that big behind a person's back. In my opinion it rates right up there with getting a puppy for christmas, for somebody, without even bothering to ask them if they are prepared for that responsibility. And I don't understand why it would be called off simply for that reason. In your parents' place, I believe I would have said to him "Hey, you might be right , now we come to think about it. Let's all spring the surprise on her together, and give her enough time to enjoy the pleasure and excitement of preparing for the trip, which, of course, is still on" I c an't believe that it would be any less exciting, and a ny less of a nice surprise if they had got together and done it that way, after hearing your boyfriend's input on it. After all, it's both of your jobs on the line here, not theirs..
2006-11-05 06:06:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Drop your B/F and go on your own. Its YOUR parents buying the ticket and its YOUR sister you haven't seen for ages! What a cheek he has moaning about the trip when he isint even funding it. He should be jumping for joy at such a generous offer, get rid of the selfish prat!
2006-11-05 06:02:06 · answer #8 · answered by yabadabbadoooo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go without him. I'm sure a friend would love a free trip to Hawaii, so you wouldn't even have to go alone.
2006-11-05 06:14:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to you mum and dad ask them if they were serious and tell them even tho its not a surprise anymore you would abslutely love to go hawaii you have nothing to lose hope it all works out
2006-11-05 15:18:20 · answer #10 · answered by kitten6444 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋