my hubby recently got together with a longtime female friend.... i tried hard and went all out to be friendly but to no avail... so now my hubby is invited to their group outings and i am mostly left out in the cold.... she is married and hubby is away for long periods so she is as free a a bird..i feel very insulted and am having constant fights over this...my husband doesnt agree that it is impolite and insulting to me..and they are his friends so i shouldnt bother!!!THOUGH I M INCREDIBLY SURE THERES NO AFFAIR HAPPENING... do you guys think i m overreacting.????
2006-11-05 05:26:25 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand where you are coming from. Your husband should go out of his way to make you comfortable with all this.
2006-11-05 05:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is a reason that he does not want you along on their outings. Have you ever been invited? If not, that alone would make me wonder.
How often do they get together? Several times a week? Once a month? If this outing thing is constant (Several times a week...that would make me wonder. ) if it is only monthly...that wouldn't be as suspicious.
Do you still make love, does he still tell you he loves you? Is he spending alot of money on these outings or working overtime or have any other time unaccounted for?
If he loves you, he would a the very LEAST invite you. If he HAS invited you and you've said no, then please take a fresh look at saying yes next time. If you are suspicious, you should make all attempts to go with the group. Be fun and energetic and non-accusing. If you can't get him to agree to you going....hire a PI one night to follow them to get the inside scoop on how your husband and this woman are acting towards one another without you there. If they are having an affair, then his other friends would never tell you.
I hope the best for you
Good luck.
2006-11-05 13:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by sugarbud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you trust your husband? If yes, then I think it is good for the two of you to have different outside interests and friends. If you need your husband to be your whole life, then I think that is excessive. But, it can work for some couples.
Bottomline, if there is no affair happening, then you might be overreacting. You have already started the interactions trying to be friendly. The "trying to be friendly" shows that you started off being jealous and controlling. Let go of the jealousy. Consider that if you love your husband, then you should want his happiness. And, it sounds like he likes this group.
2006-11-05 13:31:27 · answer #3 · answered by Your Best Fiend 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not overreacting. My boyfriend feels the same way about me and my friends. Find yourself a group of friends and do your own going out. Have fun. Life is to short to sweat the little stuff. Although he should spend time with you as well. He shouldn't put you on the back burner for his friends. But be thankful there is no affair.
2006-11-05 13:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by Bridgette 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to say but no i do not think you are overreacting.... and I would not be so sure to say that there is not an affair happening. How do you know this? If your husband truely loved you he would never ever leave you out in the cold to go and spend time with anyone else. I am sorry to say this but I think you should look into matters further. Good luck to you.
2006-11-05 13:30:04 · answer #5 · answered by Alisha S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are not overreacting. Your husband is acting like a idiot. She sound like a whore in heat and your husband is not much better. Anyone who invites a husband without his wife is up to no good unless it is all boys night. Why don't you start going out and don't tell your husband where you are going, constantly mention one guys name even if you have to make it up tell him you don't mind him spending time with her and smile then go out again. I guarantee he will start trying to spend more time with you. One night as you leave turn to him and say "honey you know you can trust me right?" Then leave and don't come home until 4am. Even if you have to stay at a friends house while pretending not to be there.
2006-11-05 13:44:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that you are overreacting, what I dont understand is why cant you go with him and this lady friend on these outings? I am glad that you trust your husband but you also need to be pratical.I think your husband shouldnt be spending a large amount of time with any other woman that in itself can cause major problems. Just keep your eyes and ears open...good luck to you
2006-11-05 13:31:41 · answer #7 · answered by soul candee 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No! I don't think you are over reacting. He is married to you, and therefore, if he goes somewhere, you ought to be included. If he can't take you, then he has no business going there himself.....I smell trouble brewing with this "longtime friend".....female, husband away for long periods of time....TROUBLE!!!, with all capital letters. If he values you as his wife, and his marriage, he needs to stop this immediately.....before MORE damage is done! Good Luck!!
2006-11-05 13:36:33 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would he react if a longtime male friend asked you out but never invited him along? My husband has female friends but he will NEVER go out with them without me around.
2006-11-05 13:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how good a friend she has been, I would never go anywhere with them if my wife wasn't invited. I just think that is so wrong. Under no circumstances would I ever do anything that would give my wife reason to wonder.
2006-11-05 15:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by nidan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there's no affair, then you should not be worried. take up a hobby, or go out with your friends. being married does not mean that the two of you need to spend all your leisure time together.
that being said: if it bothers you, for any reason, and your husband is aware that the situation bothers you, he should do whatever is necessary to make you feel okay with it.
2006-11-05 13:30:58 · answer #11 · answered by medellia1984 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋