I'm a straight girl and my closest friend is a gay guy, we're both in our 20s. He is outgoing, extroverted, spontaneous, risk-tasking. I am introverted, planned, and cautious. I enjoy being friends with him partially because he is so different from me, I appreciate, and know he does too, that we balance each other out. The problem is that he can be very inconsiderate. We will go somewhere where I know no one and am not familiar with the environment and he will leave me alone with no way out. He doesn't understand why this upsets me because if he was in the same situation he wouldn't care. He skipped my birthday. I have talked to him multiple times about how unacceptable I find the way he treats me. He tells me he doesn't know how to empathize or care and it's not specific to me. I don't understand this because sometimes it really seems as if he is empathizing. When he saw a card my dad had sent me to apologize he cried because he knew how important it was to me (he never cries).
2006-11-05 05:13:42 · 4 answers · asked by Elise 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He emailed me nearly every day for four months when I was out of the country and before I left was telling me he had never missed anymore before but would miss me and didn't know what he would do without me. It is clear to me that he does value or friendship. He is clearly upset when we argue as am I and neither of us want to have these arguments anymore. We try to understand the other person (I can tell he is trying) but we have the same arguments over and over and can't seem to get past them no matter how much we try to talk them through. I'm starting to wonder if it's just coming from essential aspects of our personality that neither of us will ever change. Are we too different to be friends? Should I just call it quits?
2006-11-05 05:16:34 · update #1
In response to the person who talked about me not being able to change him. I want to say this:
I don't want to change him, I do want him to be more considerate. And that is what I mean by "are we just too different", it seems like it is impossible for us to be friends unless we both change, and neither of us seem to be able to.
2006-11-05 07:43:33 · update #2
Friends can be as different as day and night. What makes them friends is the fact that they care about each other and respect that even if it's not what they believe. They are loving and caring and yet stern when they feel that you have gone off in the wrong path. And yet they still love you for who you are.
2006-11-05 05:18:03 · answer #1 · answered by tofu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in
http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/
2006-11-09 11:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by LIz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just accept him for what he is. you can't change people. you can talk to you are blue in the face and if these are his ways, you'll have to accept him that way. i'm sure you wouldn't like people trying to change what you are all about and it really isn't fair to do this to someone else. if you find this is difficult to handle, then he really isn't the friend YOU need in your life.
2006-11-05 13:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe a friend,,,but not as the closest, best friend
2006-11-05 14:01:44 · answer #4 · answered by Tim 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋