I am scared of marriage or getting married....help?

Question

Well first of all I'm single and I don't want to date anyone because I'm afraid to get married. Why?

Because I'm afraid that nice sweet guy that I marry will turn into a monster and beat the living tar out of me whether physically and emotionally daily.

I have that fear because not a month goes by that I hear of someone being abused in a marriage by a guy.

Suggestions?

Answer 1

If I were you I would talk to a counselor about this. You could have a reason for having this fear and some counseling will help you. But, your fear is a real one. I was married twice both times to "nice" guys who ended up not so nice. So, your fear is real and i'm not saying it's bad but, there are good guys out there. So, if I were you I would talk to a counselor and they can help you thru it.

Answer 2

That is why you choose carefully,everybody changes,married or not,you got to find somebody thats more than the superficial things of life.Once you do find that someone,realize that marriage isnt an institution to take lightly,you have to work hard at it,and not scream foul at any fight(because there will be quarrels)I married at a young age and even though there are days that I wish I wasnt married to her(as she I'm sure feels the same way) we deal with it.and I dont think theres a day that goes by that I,m not grateful shes with me.You need to realize the phrase:for better or worse,for richer or poorer.But if its too abusive and I do realize there are people like that,thats when this doesn't apply.Anything worth something will take sacrifice,and if you go into marriage with this in mind,along with someone else whom thinks this way,the good should outweigh the bad

Answer 3

Although this behaviour is often reported in the news there are many normal men and relationships that are not reported. It's like youth today, you only hear of the bad ones not the good as this doesn't sell in the media. Have faith and confidence that you will meet a regular fella and hopefully you will meet your soulmate. Fear of the unknown is an awful thing to allow to run our lives. Don't allow this fear to keep you from gaining a relationship and believe in your instincts regarding how a guy may treat you, but be realistic and not a dreamer.

Answer 4

hey i dont mean to be rude and im sorry if comes across that way its honestly not mean it anyway

Don't go into a relationship thinking that it will end up in marriage, i've had several serious boyfriends and its my current one that marriage has actually been seriously discussed.

Not all guys are violent, there are a few but you'll know long before marriage is on the cards!!

When you find the guy that you want to marry communication is a main point, it's worth doing a marriage prep course

www.marriagecourse.org

i think will tell you about it, i'm starting it on Thursday so if you wanna know what its like drop me an email.

i dont really know what else to write but if you have any questions more on what i've said drop me an email ttfn

Answer 5

The biggest thing to hold on to is that you need to know the guy well. There are a lot of resources that can help you with this. My wife and I used a book called "101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged" by H. Norman Wright and Gary Oliver. I have recommended this as a tool to all of my friends who are looking at a relationship to go further. This is a "Christian" book, however, even if you are not a person of faith, it will serve as a VITAL tool for communication. It allows the book to ask deep and probing questions that might be difficult for either of you to bring up yourselves, but the book does it for you. It goes from questions like "How many kids would you like to have?" to "What are five bad habits you have? Are you willing to change those habits? Are you willing to have assistance in changing any of those habits?" Armed with a resource like this, you will find that if a guy is willing to go through that process and be truthful about his answers, you'll know if the guys is going to turn out to be abusive. You can find the book at: http://www.amazon.com/Questions-Before-Engaged-Wright-Oliver/dp/0736913947

Answer 6

If you are not ready for marriage then you are not ready. Nothing wrong with that. However you should go out and have fun and if that special someone comes around get to know him really well before you concider marrying him. Not all men are abusive there are lots of good guys out there in fact I have one that is not abusive.

Answer 7

First of all don't be afraid to date, just don't live with the person that you are dating. Save money so you can support yourself if you happen to get married and it goes sour. Before you marry someone date them for at least 10 years and live with them for 5 years before you get married. You don't even have to get married these days. You can also take self-defense classes to protect yourself from abuse.

Answer 8

Being scared of marriage is a natural thing and understandingly so. When you meet a new guy and things are going really good, then you should meet his parents. If they seem happy and the guy had a good upbringing, then more than likely, he will be a fine husband. Remember, the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.

Answer 9

Don't be scared....most of those marriages continue on because the wife never takes action...many times she just sticks around when she should get the heck out of there. You seem like an intelligent girl...I don't think you would stay in a situation like that. Fyi, not all guys are like that...

I always go by that quote...I forget who its by...its better to love and give it your best shot than to never love at all...something like that

Answer 10

Sweety, some do work out. We just don't hear about them, cause their not news until the 50th wedding anniversary!!

Just because you date, doesn't mean you have to "marry".

Geez, if this really is a fear in your life, amybe you should consider becoming a nun. ( But you have to watch the priest there too. They like to rape the nun's).